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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Totally feel like a failure

13 replies

helgaw99 · 04/04/2012 13:38

Hi everyone
Well after 2 weeks of breast feeding, the midwife visited today and my son is still losing weIght. I had problems establishing supply and he has been topped up once a day for the last week. But as he is still losing weight the midwife says I need to top up every three hours after breast feeding. I feel like a complete failure and don't see a way back to exclusively BF. Is there any way back from this, or does this just end in full time formula feeding?
So depressed...

OP posts:
creativepebble · 04/04/2012 13:43

Yes there is a way back, no worries. Relax and enjoy your new one. If you can express tiny amounts, your supply will gently increase too and within no time you and baby will be in sync.
Be kind to yourself... X

hazchem · 04/04/2012 13:45

I really don't have any proper answers for you but I have read stories like yours that have ended positively.
Do you have confidence in the midwife? Can you ask her for support to not only help your son regain his weight but also to exclusively breastfeed?

Can you give a call to one of the helplines a call. I have spoken with the NCT 0300 330 0700 and found them really helpful.
I'm sorry that your having such a rough start.

MigGril · 04/04/2012 13:52

Yes there is a way back, but your going to need some good real life help with this.

He's ovously not transfering milk effectively and someone needs to take a look at your latch. You can ask if the hospital has an infant feeding coordiator or ring one of the helplines.

Have you been told to topup with formula? You can top up with BM you don't have to use formula, it's about seeing that your baby is getting milk. Fixing the latch is ovusly the best way to ensure this but also expressing and topping up with BM so you maintain/increase your supply will do the same to. Adding formula will just compound the problem as you will make less milk and then have a supply problem.

The other option is also to topup with formula but to express after a feed as well to increase your supply, but as your baby is lossing weight you really do need some reall life help with all of this.

MigGril · 04/04/2012 13:54

Have a look hear for all the support line
www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/breastfeeding-help-support.aspx

tiktok · 04/04/2012 14:06

helgaw, just as with your other threads, I'd ask you if your midwife or anyone else has observed a feed, from start to finish.

It is really concerning if a baby of 2 weeks is continuing to lose weight, but it is essential that bf is observed, so a mum like you can be helped to make sure he is in attaching well and transferring milk well. Topping up with formula may be needed but at the same time breastfeeding needs to be 'fixed' - this would be ensuring good positioning and attachment, expressing to stimulate more milk, frequent breastfeeding inc at night, switch nursing to boost supply.

If you are only bf 3 hrly ie 8 times in 24 hours, then this is almost certainly nowhere near enough....you can turn things round, but it sounds to me that you need better/more help than the midwife is giving you.

Hope you get good real life help.

homeaway · 04/04/2012 14:18

Get in touch with the leach league they will be able to help you. If your baby cries after an hour or so of feeding put him back on the same breast so that they get the hind milk which is more filling, then move him to the other breast. He may not be getting enough of the filling milk. Make sure you are resting enough and drinking enough as all of these things can affect your supply. Put him to the breast every time he cries and that will help with your supply as well. But do definitely contact a breast feeding expert for more hands on advice .

crikeybadger · 04/04/2012 14:28

Oh helgaw, I understand your disappointment at the situation and I know that you've done lots of things to try and resolve this weight issue.

I agree with tiktok though that whilst formula may be needed in the short term, there is obviously something about the breastfeeding that needs to be addressed too.

Do you have an infant feeding coordinator or somebody like that at your hospital, somebody who has some real, specialised breastfeeding knowledge?

Resting enough and drinking enough are not going to have an impact on your supply as homeaway suggests, but obviously you need to look after yourself for your own well being and recovery post birth.

Oh and I'm sure I've mentioned tongue tie before because I usually do, but could that be causing you problems?

Hope you can get some good help soon and no, this situation isn't irreversible.

Jnice · 04/04/2012 14:30

Good advice re checking latch, and could lo have a tounge tie?

BF very often. Just keep putting Baby to breast. Better still just take him to bed and feed with skin to skin. When you top up have your DP do that if possible and pump each side for 10 mins each. Even if you get no milk you are stimulating breasts to produce more.

Can you get to a clinic where lo can be weighed before and after a feed?

Yes - you can definitely do this! I have been there with 2 out of 3 of my boys and EBF after early supplementing. Good luck!

tiktok · 04/04/2012 14:35

homeaway, I am sure you mean well but what you say is not useful advice, sorry :(

"If your baby cries after an hour or so of feeding put him back on the same breast so that they get the hind milk which is more filling, then move him to the other breast."

No - the idea that babies need to feed this way is incorrect. The baby needs to increase his volume intake, by frequent feeding from both breasts.

"Make sure you are resting enough and drinking enough as all of these things can affect your supply." - no, they don't.

Jnice · 05/04/2012 04:19

Yes, I was told when we were struggling to switch feed. Partly to wake sleepy DS and partly to stimulate supply. So 5 mins each side back and forth (not just once each side).

Jnice · 05/04/2012 06:44

helgaw - was thinking about you, please don't beat yourself up about this. How are you feeling today?

babybouncer · 05/04/2012 11:31

helgaw, I had a similar experience to you last time around (before I discovered mumsnet!) and despite support from hvs etc, I ended up at the docs who suggested mixed feeding. I bf for 6 months in the end and every feed I topped DS up with 7oz of formula (so realistically, he was getting almost nothing from me, I realise). I have no idea why I couldn't feed him, but topping him up in this way made him a much healthier, happier baby, which is the most important thing, afterall. I hope you can breastfeed, and that you get all the support you need to do this, but please remember that it isn't the be all and end all. And you certainly mustn't feel guilty or a 'failure'!

PS Currently bfing DD - somehow far simpler than it ever was first time round.

KirstyDaisyBBandFifi · 05/04/2012 16:52

HI I've had a similar experience - please be kind to yourself..... BF is great if it works but you must also think about your bonding with your beautiful baby.... I am sure you will find solutions... and I know there are so many options and opinions... My advice for what it is worth is to try to find an infant feeding coordinator at you local hospital - they seem to know their stuff...ANd try not to get too bogged down with all of the variables.... Take care and love your baby

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