Self weaning? Feeling majorly rejected and sad.

[Four4me]

Dc4 is 14.5 months and my last baby. Has been feeding morning, afternoon and bed time for a while. Last week he dropped his afternoon feed. He woke up on Monday morning and refused to feed. He has refused ever since.

Can self weaning be so sudden? He had his normal lovely snuggly bedtime feed on Sunday night no problems.

I have always said I will feed till he is ready to stop. I am devastated sad that it is all over so suddenly. I weaned our other three dc at different stages due to work and getting recurrent severe mastitis. So never been in this situation before.

So this week he has had a Becker of cows milk (to sprinkle on the highchair) morning and night after I offer the boob and he firmly refuses. This morning he start to scream as soon as I pulled my top up

Just want to check that you think this is definitely self weaning not a nursing strike. He has been a total boob monster and never refused before. He has been a dream to feed and has slept about 11 hours a night since he was 9 weeks. I have been expressing morning and night this week as I'm terrified of my old friend mastitis (have had it 5 times since he was born). If it is self weaning I'm going to have to man up and will gradually reduce the amount I express to dwindle my milk till it is gone. Any one else been here???

My DS is only 7 months so can't offer any advice I'm afraid! Just felt bad you saying how upset you are. Wanted to say congratulations on nursing him for nearly 15 months!That's quite an achievement!

Thanks nofood that is kind of you. Welling up again, so sad I won't be having anymore babies. Wondering whether I'm hormonal as well. I have been lucky and not had my af since before I got pregnant so two years ago in May (yeah). I'm normally so level headed. I need to get a grip and be grateful for how lucky I am to have four beautiful big babies!!

I have no advice either as my DD is only 3 months old but I can understand your sadness, makes me well up now thinking one day she'll eat solids and then one day (much, much later) won't want booby. I want her to self wean when she's ready but hoping it comes later rather than sooner as loving BFing so much. I hope to have another child but it won't be the same as this experience as now I have all day to feed and snuggle whereas if I have another it won't be as relaxed with another toddler to look after.

Have you checked out kellymom to see what it says about nursing strikes (I did have advice after all lol!)

It sounds like a nursing strike not self weaning tbh. DD2 has just self weaned and she has been nursing on a weekly, then 2 weekly basis for a while, no nursing for at least 2 weeks and no indication from her of re-starting. I can remember her last feed but not the exact date She is 4y 4m so has had a good lot of BM over her years.

She has however had nursing strikes (as has DD1/DD3) and they are sudden and abrupt with not really any build up to them (i.e. no gradual lessening of bfs). They are resolvable (in general) and as fhdl34 suggests Kellymom.com has some great info on halting strikes.

Good luck and be gentle on yourself - the more softly softly you approach halting a strike the better (so things like having snuggly skin to skin cuddles in bed, taking a bath together, etc) as there is less pressure on you and on your DS and hopefully less heartache if that particular moment doesn't result in a bf (well less than if you sit in your 'bfing spot' get settled with the nursing pillow and then get pushed away by DS).

Thank you both, am going to take a look at kellymom. Fingers crossed. If not I am going to try to feel proud to have got him this far with three others to look after Inc one with sn.

Mumsnet is ace, a lot of my rl friends, lovely as they are are a bit yukey about long term bfing.

It can take a while for a strike to 'break' perhaps even longer than 2 weeks so don't be too down hearted if he's not back feeding in a day or two. And it is most certainly not a judgement on you or your parenting/breasts no matter what that little voice says (my little voice could be very nasty at times!).

Thank you so much truthsweet you have been so helpful and made me feel more positive. Am going to keep offering the breast and express if he refuses. Try to keep calm and not feel too rejected. Will see how it goes.

He did have his mmr jab two weeks ago and has cut three big back teeth in the last week or so, so maybe this and I think af is on it's way is contributing to his strike.?

Just shows that just when you think you have this motherhood lark sussed out something else catches you out.

Mine are perpetually throwing me curve balls

If you think teething might be behind this then using whatever pain relief method works for your DS 20-30 mins before the bfing 'opportunity' can help. So that might be worth a shot!