Determined bottle refusing baby, need suggestions

[GusTheOneEyedPolarBear]

DS2, 17 weeks is ebf'd and will start going to a cm at some point between June and September when I go back to work.

In preparation for this, we are trying to persuade him to take a bottle of ebm, which is what he'll have at the cm. He absolutely hates the bottle to the extent where he'll now cry when it comes near his mouth and sticks a bit of his tongue out so we can't get the bottle in.

We've tried offering the bottle before a bf, halfway through a feed before switching sides and after a feed which I've cut short so he'd still be hungry - he refused all three. At the moment we're substituting the last feed before bed and I always warm the milk to body temp (I express a couple of hours before and store in the fridge so would be v cold otherwise)

I refuse to try the bottle when he's crying because I don't want him to think it's something he's going to be force fed whether he likes it or not, but I do need him to begin taking one in the next few months. We've been quite good at keeping things relaxed when offering the bottle but he still gets very upset. I suppose it could be a texture thing as he also refuses a dummy but will suck my knuckle if he can get hold of it, has anyone else's child been like this?

My current plan of action is to give up for a week or two and try again. Is there anything else I could try when I start offering it again?

Honestly?

DD1 was hardcore. I stopped EBF because I had to do long days at work. I tried every bottle on the market. She wouldn't take it. One day, I left her with my DM and went out for the day. DM was convinced that if she was thirsty enough, she would drink. She didn't. She refused the bottle completely and waited for me to come home.

In the end, I used Avent Magic Cup spouts. She finally decided that was ok, but only because I went cold turkey. Awful, Awful, Awful.

Lougle I'm worried about reaching a similar situation to you and your DD. It's fine now but It's going to be so different come June. I worked two minutes walk from the cm and I don't want to be down there during my break feeding

He was like this with the dummy - refused point blank but would then try to suck on my knuckle - obviously wanting to suck for comfort. He's headstrong like his mother :o
I had thought about a cup/ something of the magic cup's style as he's joined in with a few of DS1's pretend tea parties and seems to be able to do the pursed lips thing you need to do to drink from a cup. So will invest in one and see how we go, thanks

Nuk teats worked for me in the same situation. The hole is at at the top of the teat (facing roof of mouth) rather than at the end. This means that your baby can do the same pumping, rather than sucking action as when being breastfed and get the same result. I went back to work for a week and my DD refused everything (not heard of these teats then). I returned home each day like Jordan - I was as happy to see her as she was to see me!! Finally the nuk teats worked - hope you get similar success.

Had this problem with both children. First child I just gave up breastfeeding, (but also for other reasons), second child I was determined to make it work.
The whole breastfeeding/bottlefeeding thing was so stressful for me.

In the end the only way was to find someone who just had the right 'touch'. Both my mum and husband just couldn't get her to take it.
MIL came to visit and she is a very headstrong lady, but who also loves babies. She cracked dd2.
It took a few attemps of leaving her at home and no other choice, it only took 2 or 3 tries.
Babysitter took it from there, a few months down the line (6 months old) dd2 was happy to take either breast or bottle from me.

Honestly I can barely believe it myself as I'm typing this! But she really did, and I count myself so lucky, because I know there is so much advice against it and so many people can't seem to get to that point.

Oh it was avent bottles by the way.

There are a few 'tricks' you can try but, be warned, they might not work as some babies can be very stubborn!!

• BM (from the breast) is warmer than you might think and some babies are very fussy about temperature so try different temperatures.
• BF is very noisy - baby is very close to you and your heartbeat - some babies can will take a bottle is you can introduce some white noise, stand next to the extractor fan for example. *Nipples are warm and soft, bottle teats are not - so you can try running hot/boiling water over the teat to soften/warm it which might make it more palatable.

Hi. I'm in the same situation and I have a stubborn gorgeous little bottle refuser too!

My only advise is stick with one type of bottle. I have spent a small fortune on bottles and guess what - she doesnt care. She will still refuse. ...even the breastflow bottles. On the odd occassion we have managed to get a bottle in her she has been half asleep. Once she look freshly pumped milk from me so didnt mind that I was the one feeding her!

Try cup feeding - either the way they do in hospital or with a tommee tippee first cup. Its the only small success we have had.

ROOTBEER is right. Yes the odd time she has taken it is by the extractor fan or with the hoover going. She loves white noise.

Am going to try softening the teats too and see if that works.

All 3 of mine were like this - DC3 now 9 months and I'm back at work as of now. She will take a tommee tippee cup (though spills a lot) or a doidy cup (spills even more). Always wondered if I just wasn't persistent enough, but never got any of them to take a bottle.

I had a bottle refuser, would take one until about 3 months then point blank refused. Your Ds will be about six months by the time you return to work then? He will therefore be eating solids so may reduce feeds by then anyway. I ended up employing tough love with my DS once he was eating solids and only offering bottle/cup in day. I kept BF morning and night. It was stressful but he eventually started taking more and more from a cup. The tommy tippee tip it up cups worked for us, a kind of teat but not a bottle teat IYSWIM

17 weeks is definitely old enough to try a sippy cup. DS has never had a bottle but definitely rejected the dummy. Here's what worked for us: I bought 3 or 4 different free-flow cups (but you can remove the valve thingy if cup comes with one attached) and put them (empty) amongst DS's toys for a couple of weeks. As everything goes into his mouth anyway, it only took a little bit of steering from me for him to get the hang of gripping the handles of those that have them, or holding those that don't.

Gradually I introduced small amounts of EBM - was prepared for much spillage - and now at 6.5mo he'll happily take EBM or sips of water from any of them. I think he has a Tommy Tippee, a Boots own and a...something baby, also from boots (sorry, not very helpful!), plus a ridiculous one with his name on from Debenhams.

My DS is now 25 weeks and will take a bottle most days now after flatly refusing when we started about 4 weeks ago so I could have a night off. I followed advice on here (sorry didn't link but if you search my nn you should find the thead);

• don't do the feed at bedtime, I started with this to no avail. Instead we gave it at some other time of the day.

• Have someone else give it if you can and you go out or at least hide! If they can see you then they get really annoyed I found.

• Try it when he's not hungry. We started just trying 20-30ml (I froze the rest) when he was in a good mood inbetween bf's. I built up to more as he began to accept it more readily.

• I'm nowhere near as precious about the ebm as I was with DS1. So if we heat up a 100ml and he only has 10ml I don't think of it as a waste, as it's early days!

• I also found NUK teats the most successful. I started with latex ones then switched to silicone as he preferred them (I have spent quite a lot on bottles, grr!).

• As he got more accepting, we began to give it as an actual feed trying it at different times (at bedtime, when he wakes after the first sleep of the night etc).

The first time we left him (we were round the corner) he woke and MIL tried to give him the bottle and he went ballistic! He now has a bottle when he wakes up at about 10-11pm, but some nights he'll only take a bit then cry for a bf.

You will get there. You have lots of time so try not to stress. Good luck

Wow thanks for all the responses overnight, I had no idea so many babies do this!

northen yes, DS2 will be at least six months, want to stay at home till 9 but this seems v unlikely money wise so planning for a June return

I'm going to invest in a few NUK teats - using Tommy Tippy right now as they were compatible with my breast pump (kitchen looks like Tommy Tippy sponsors it ). If that doesn't work I'll go for the advent cup plus a few other brands if still refusing.

DH has had a go before to little success which limits who else we can try (ds1 is 4 so not something I can really get him to have ago at as a big brother duty). CM we use is like a family friend to us DS1 since 12 months old), I'm tempted to see if she'd have ds2 for a couple of hours as part of settling in and get her to try as she'll be the one doing it when I'm at work.

I'll try different times of the day too - for some reason it hadn't occured to me that this might be have an impact .

I think asking CM is a really good idea and yes, also second not doing it at bedtime, as that's a 'comfort' sleepy feed as well!

Good luck!

I have a seven month old. She can sip from a Doidy cup and loves it. The cup is held for her. At the childminders - We have tried ebm (couldn't express enough), Ready mix formula (took alot first time, then not next time) and boiled water. The CM thinks she will be a boiled water lady.

I second the nuk bottles - DD was positively offended each time I tried to put a bottle in her mouth. Someone recommended the latex nuk teats and bingo! So much softer than the silicon ones.

We didn't have much success with bottles - but I will third the nuk bottle, with the latex teat. It's the only one that we had any real success with (and we tried a few!)

However, mostly we used the Tommee Tippee sippy cups, and still do. They can make a mess with them, but it's what we always come back to.