How to wean a 2.4 year old milk monster

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After 2 BFPs I'm finally starting to believe DC2 is on the way . Very pleased and excited, but think there is one big task ahead....

DS is 2.4 years. He is still feeding regularly and showing no signs of self-weaning anytime soon. He can go for long periods without (I've been away from him overnight and I'm working full time for a few weeks atm) and it causes him no problem when I'm not with him. He has a really varied diet, and is also keen on cows milk from a cup, so think it is more of a comfort thing than to do with hunger. I've been told by DH, DM and nursery that he makes no mention of it at all when I'm not there, but the minute I walk through the door the first thing he wants is to feed.

I have been thinking for a while that maybe the time is coming to stop. He's still waking at night and I think that is bf-related as only I can settle him (again not an issue if I'm not there). Also, he's rather substantial and an ahem active feeder so it is just getting physically trickier. Plus there are lots of times when it would be nice to just do something together eg read a story, sit and cuddle without him hoiking my boob out (I accept this is perhaps rather selfish though).

The fact that I'm pregant has made it more pressing, however, as I just cannot see tandem feeding working. If this DC is anything like DS was, I literally don't think I'd have time to do anything else but feed. Also have visions of DS trying to push the baby away for his turn, or getting very put out that I was feeding the baby instead of him. I want to stop way before he has any inckling about the baby so that he doesn't link the two iyswim. I just don't have any ideas how to go about it without causing him a great deal of distress.

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

My 2.5 year old son used to have 3 bottles of milk before he went to bed up till just a few weeks ago. Now he doesn't want any bottles. He drinks his milk from cup. Has 1-2.

So he weaned himself :)

You may find he loses interest if your supply drops due to being pg. I'm currently about 9 weeks with DC2 and my 2.3 y.o. has always been an enthusiastic feeder - he was bf'ing at least 6-8 times a day and 1-5 times a night before I got pg. He does sometimes ask for it when I'm not around, and we've noticed a definite deterioration in his behaviour when I've not been around to bf him. He doesn't like cow's milk and is a fairly fussy eater.

To my amazement, he is starting to lose interest now. He still wants to feed at night and sleep times, but is not that interested at other points. At times that he does want to feed, it's a 3-second suck rather than a 5-10 minute feed as it used to be.

I would never have believed that his interest would slacken off in the slightest.

So it might be worth waiting a few weeks when it could be easier to wean.

'How Weaning Happens' by LLL is supposed to be very good (though I've not read it) and Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma Jane Bumgarner has some good discussions of different weaning techniques.

If you're not definite about wanting to stop, but just unsure about how tandemming might work, then Adventures in Tandem Nursing by Hilary Flower is good - lots of info, and case studies both from people who tandemmed and people who weaned during or after pg.

It's also not uncommon for children to wean (or be weaned) during the mother's pg, and to then re-start (or want to re-start) feeding after the baby arrives.

And congratulations!

Hi
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I'm afraid I don't have much advice when it comes to weaning... I speak as mother to 2 dds who I'm tandem feeding. Dd1 is 2.9 and dd2 is 6 months. I have been thinking about weaning dd1 since early pregnancy, so over a year now, and I'm afraid I never got anywhere! I don't intend to make you feel like it won't happen for you, but really just to ask if weaning is definitely what you want. If it is, then I'm sure some other people will be able to give some tips on the practicalities. I think for me, whenever it came to it, weaning was the harder option.

However, when dd2 was born, I was so glad to still be feeding dd1, as I felt it really helped her to accept the change. She has been brilliant with her little sister and never shown any jealousy. I did night wean her during pregnancy using jay Gordon's method to help cope with tiredness, and I'm glad I did that, even though we have gone backwards since!

Also, its worth bearing in mind how much older your son will be once the baby arrives, and how his feeding habits might have changed by then.

Sorry if you've already set your heart on.weaning, and this is useless. Good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks everyone .

It's reassuring to hear that he may yet self-wean as I certainally think that would be my preference. I think I'll also do a bit of reading up on tandem feeding, as I perhaps have dismissed it a bit too readily - would be great if it worked as well as it sounds like it has for you loopy.

Night weaning, on the other hand, may have to be a priority - I'd forgotten how tiring it is growing another person and I've hardly started yet! He does seem to feed much more when he's tired/sleepy so perhaps if we crack that, then the rest will follow.

Good luck, I am going to be weaning DD when she is 3 in 3 weeks' time, I still don't know what exactly I'm going to be doing but we have been talking about it for a while. She is that bit older and her language is very good, so we can talk about it - I just keep on telling her there won't be any more, I have asked what she could have as a special drink instead, she has said chocolate soya milk, and I've started saying how she can always cuddle up to the boobies (she likes to tell me she "loves my squishies" ).

But still, I'm not convinced she will remember any of this when it comes to it! As for bedtime...and night time... wail. I've been meaning to start a thread, will search for others then might do that.

Oh, and - 3 of my friends who have been pregnant with bfing 2 year olds, the 2 year olds stopped when the milk changed in pregnancy.

I've had a few chats with DS, when we've 'agreed' that he'll only bf before bed. Thing is, it quickly goes out the window when he later decides he wants to feed at another time - I got a resolute "mummy I will not give up!" the other day when he was still trying to wrestle my boob out of my top after I'd told him no, as I really needed to go to the loo (and to be fair he'd just polished off a substantial tea!)

I think if I decide to go for it, I'll just have to stand firm like I would with anything else. It just seems trickier with breastfeeding though, as he's known nothing else from the day he was born. He is keen on doing anything he sees as "big boys" and I was hoping he'd start to only drinking from a cup instead of "doing boob" in the same way, but so far it doesn't seem to be happening.

Maybe it will change in a few weeks though when the milk starts to taste different.

I got DS off the boob when he was 23 months and feeding started to hurt (turned out I was pregnant with dd!). I just fended him off everytime he went on boob. Told him it was ouchy - true. It took about a week. But he was also on the dummy - although it was a poor sub!

Good luck.

See, DS was always a dummy refuser and I think that's part of the problem - I'm effectively his dummy. I've heard of lots of great ideas for moving on from dummies (burying them to grow a dummy tree, leaving them for the dummy fairy etc) but none of these are exactly practical with boobs .

At the moment, I'm holding out hope that things will move on naturally when my milk changes but not sure what to do if not.