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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Going back to work and ds not weaned from bf yet; should I worry?

24 replies

saladspinner · 30/03/2012 20:13

I wonder if you could share your experiences of bf and work with me?

11 mo DS has been ebf, takes solids but refuses to drink milk from bottle or beaker. I go back to work in 3 weeks for 2 1/2 days pw and ds feeds on average 5 times a day (not including nights, another story!). I am happy to continue breast feeding but am worried if ds will suffer during those days that I am at work?

I am hoping that he will just adapt, take more solids on those days and enjoy the feeds when he has them. Am I being unrealistic? Should I try to wean him from day-time feeds (ie except first thing in morning and before bed) prior to starting work? Tbh I'd much rather he self weaned slowly.

Thanks x

OP posts:
Springforward · 30/03/2012 20:23

He'll adapt - IME they'll do all kinds of stuff for nursery nurses they won't do for mums, and he might decide to drink some milk if you're not about. Mine wouldn't, so they gave him yoghurt instead of milk, and water to drink. He carried on feeding when we were together and kept going for a year after i went back to work four days a week.

KittyBump · 30/03/2012 20:27

Hmm, sounds similar to my situation last November. I attempted cutting down on day feeds but it never really happened. My DD does 3 days a week with a CM, she would not take formula or expressed milk or cows milk (she was 11 months too but I thought it was worth a try) she didn't eat much either and she would basically wait it out and have a massive feed when I picked her up, then feed a lot through the night. I still fed her during the day on the days I was with her. I'd say it hasn't done her any harm, she took a good 5 weeks to settle in at nursery and perhaps this would have been quicker if she was eating better but she isn't a baby that can be coerced into anything she doesn't want to do!
She is now 15 months, loves being at the CM and is eating better, she still bf but no longer during the day.
I think you can continue to feed and he will either wait till he sees you and fill up on milk then or he'll decide he will take milk in a cup, neither will do him any harm. I hope it goes well for you, I was dreading returning to work but it all worked out eventually :)

Original poster
saladspinner · 30/03/2012 20:29

Thank you spring, that's reassuring to know.

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Original poster
saladspinner · 30/03/2012 20:36

Hi kitty, i have also tried cutting down feeds during the day with not much success. Maybe I didn't try hard enough but ds is single-minded when he wants a feed and distraction doesn't work unless we're out of the house.
I do worry about the increase in night feeds, as happened to you, but I'm hoping he'll respond to peer pressure and just eat more like the other babies!
They warn you that starting breast feeding can be hard but not stopping it! I want it to be as easy as possible for both of us, particularly as it's going to be a time of separation anyway.

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Springforward · 30/03/2012 21:02

The bf at the end of the day was a lovely time to reconnect, I found. We didn't get an increase in night feeds, he just kind of settled into morning and bedtime feeds quite quickly really.

He did love yoghurt and cheese and rice pudding though, and I do wonder if that helped things along?

lonesomeBiscuit · 31/03/2012 09:53

No need to worry, similar situation with my DS (at 10.5 months), except he wouldn't eat solids - would only BF (or have water) despite all my efforts! He could eat (would do so on odd occasions) but just preferred BM.

First week at nursery - went 11 hours between feeds, with nothing but water. He was fine. More night feeds. After a week or so he started to take formula, then eating yoghurt (going crazy for it), and ever so gradually has begun to eat more solids (though still not a big eater). Now down to 1 BF a day in the morning (at 16 months). If your LO eats solids he'll be absolutely fine - he'll fill up more on the solids, then feed on the days off.

If you want you can wean him gently after he's started nursery. For the first few weeks I still fed on demand on my days off, but then decided I wanted to be consistent, not least so I could leave him at home for a few hours with DH without worrying about missing feeds, and to encourage him to eat solids. But you don't have to, and for us morning feeds are a nice cuddle.

Original poster
saladspinner · 31/03/2012 09:53

Well, I hope we follow your example, spring. Sounds lovely. I do feel reassured with my choices - I think there is so much pressure on mums to 'do this, do that' or you're making a rod etc. so thanks.

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HappyAsASandboy · 31/03/2012 16:50

I agree with the other posters, he'll probably adapt quite quickly.

When I went back, my twins wouldn't drink from a bottle/sippy cup, and fed several times a day and all night long. They ate lots of yogurt and fruit purée at nursery, alongside their meals, and then continued to feed at night from me. After a few weeks they copied the other babies and used the sippy cups - we bought the same brad for at home to encourage them.

They're still feeding all night long now, at 17 months. If I'm with them then they ask for milk, of not, they manage without and don't seem bothered. I've even been away overnight twice (morning to following evening) and they managed fine with my mum or DH.

I'd advise not stressing about it. Go back to work, and see how it works out, then try changing it if it doesn't work out Smile

Original poster
saladspinner · 01/04/2012 19:06

Thanks happy. Good advice, though I feel for you with the night feeds x 2!

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ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 01/04/2012 19:17

Thanks for this thread. DS (who will be 8 months) is starting nursery tomorrow in readiness for me going back to work in two weeks. He won't drink from a bottle, is fed to sleep and is barely eating solids. To say I'm panicking is an understatement!

People just keep saying "He'll eat if he's hungry" so I pray they're right!

Llareggub · 01/04/2012 19:25

Both my boys just bf when I was around and didn't when I wasn't. DSS2 is 3 this month and still breastfeeding. He has spent quite a few nights away from me too. Some weekends he feeds more than others, and I find that when he is a little poorly a sleepy feed during the night cures most ills but means I get a bit of rest too. Really, don't bother cutting down or getting him used to anything, he'll be fine.

MousyMouse · 01/04/2012 19:29

don't worry.
we were in a similat situation and dc adapted quite well.
speak to the nursery, they might have come across this before.
in our case the nursery offered formula at the normal times, sometime baby took it (from a beaker) sometimes not.
in a way it helped with settling in as I woud feed at drop off and pick up which became our routine. went on feeding until baby was 18m...

weedoll · 01/04/2012 22:26

I second Atruth Ds is 8 months, I return to work in 3 weeks. He feeds on demand still, refuses a bottle but will drink formula from a sippy tommy tippy cup with meals I give him this with his meals whenIremember but I feel he'll miss the cuddles of bf'ing and substitute by getting up extra a night (still up at least 3 hourly).
When I go back I'll be gone for 11-12hoursSad dreading it tbh. Good to know others are in the same boat.

HipHopOpotomus · 02/04/2012 10:27

My DC both adapted very well - get him onto a sippy cup, or one of the cups with a flip top.

Neither of my girls really took to drinking expressed BM or formula. SO I fed them morning, evening & night, and they had meals, water and cheese/yoghurt with the CM. It all works just fine.

I agree with weedoll there can be more night time activity - alot of that is wanting to be close to Mummy after being apart all day. Co-sleeping helps hugely with that.

grobagsforever · 02/04/2012 12:14

I had same worry with DD - went back when she was 13 months - I do 3 days a week. DD adapted fine - she just feeds more the days we are together and has more water and solids at nursery than just with me.

Original poster
saladspinner · 02/04/2012 19:05

Thanks everyone, that's all so helpful. Weedol, it's bad enough worrying about going back to work without worrying about reducing feeds too! I'm reassured that ds will manage fine without feeds at nursery and then just carry on as usual when I'm back. If anything, I think bfing will get ds though separation stress of going to nursery, so definitely don't want to stop. Good luck to those returning to work x

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Springforward · 02/04/2012 19:10

I forgot to say earlier - my nursery staff really did have lots of experience of dealing with mums and babes who were still a bf pair, and they couldn't have been more supportive. They knew that my office was only across the road, and so they even offered to find me a quiet room to bf DS in at lunchtime if I chose to. I didn't, as I think we would have both found the second seperation of the day a bit upsetting, but it did leave me feeling like the nursery staff were completely on it and would manage whatever came up.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 03/04/2012 07:27

Just thought I'd update to reassure some of you with a 'so far, so good'...

DS did three hours at nursery yesterday. He took 2oz of formula (unheard of!) ate a little (rare!) & napped (never been put down by anyone other than DP or I before) Phew! It really was okay.

We're building up to three and a half hours today, four hours tomorrow... Please god let me not have just cursed it by saying how well it went!

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 03/04/2012 07:29

(oh, he did BF every two and a half hours last night but that's relatively normal for him)

Original poster
saladspinner · 03/04/2012 09:34

My DS doing 3 hours today for first time (has done 2 hours with me hovering) so hopefully will go as well Truth... I wasn't even considering packing formula but I'll give a try now. He's eating tea there too, so we'll see. Report back?

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ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 03/04/2012 14:05

All good here. Three and a half hours. No problems at all. Such a relief!

I just hope he continues the brilliance when he starts full days next week.

Let us know how this afternoon goes Smile

Original poster
saladspinner · 03/04/2012 19:06

Good on you.

Not so great this end! He loved it last time but wasn't having any of it today and I had to scurry back from the library after 25 minutes. He's tired, he's teething, he's getting over a cold.... Any number of excuses playing in my mind. Has another afternoon there on Thursday, so fingers crossed. I've given him and myself a 3 week settling in period so it should all be fine by D day Hmm

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ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 03/04/2012 19:55

Sounds like you did the right thing. I abandoned nursery twice last week when he got upset as I don't want him to dislike it. He just seems to be enjoying it this week, thankfully! We have two weeks before D Day so let's hope it remains positive!

mummysmellsofsick · 11/04/2012 14:29

Aha, a thread just like mine I expect these come up all the time. Has been helpful reading this too

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