Is it time to give up?

[Chocolocolate]

Sorry, this is long.

I'm so tired.

We've tried everything to get, now 4.5mo, dd to latch on. The health visitor, midwives, GPs, maternity support workers, a nursery nurse, peer support workers, an nct breastfeeding advisor, LLL, two very good private lactation consultants (IBCLCs) and a cranial osteopath have all atempted to help.

I've also called all of the helplines for advice and attended every breastfeeding group going. Voluntary ones and the NHS ones. I also went to a couple of LLL meetings and a couple of different breastfeeding classes before I was pregnant.

DD has had reflux meds, anti-biotics for a throat infection (a suggestion for why she wouldn't feed - I'm sceptical of this), Infacol, various teething remedies, calpol, Ibuprofen and has had a tongue tie divided twice.

I had mastitis badly three times (fever, chills etc) and currently have thrush so my nipples are sore.

DD has improved, she now has a decent suck (thanks to a fantastic cranial osteopath) and can now latch on to a bottle well, since the tongue-tie division.

When I try to get her to latch on, she opens her mouth wide and takes a decent amount of breast into her mouth, but then pulls off. We've tried nipple sheilds, holding her on, not giving bottles (she didn't eat anything for over 12 hours) etc.

I'm shattered from pumping (DDonly has expressed breast milk). DD is not a great sleeper and once I've fed and settled her I then pump for 15 mins twice a night. I also have to cart the pump everywhere as I need to pump every 3 hours in the day or I don't get enough.

I HAVE to go back to work full time when DD is 7mo. My work is intensive and stressfull and will involve working when DD is in bed.

I'm dreading going back as I don't know how I'll cope. I only have to be full-time for 9 months but I don't know how I'll manage.

I'll also have to pump in the short time that I have with dd in the morning and in the evening.

I'm not sure if I want people to offer support to keep going or to say "it's time to give up".

Any advice appreciated.

Wow - I just wanted to offer you some support, however you decide to proceed. You've done such an amazing job so far with pumping, I suspect that most mothers would have given up long ago.

At 4.5 months your DD has had a really good run at having your breast milk, better than most would have had in your situation. It's not far short of the recommended 6 months. If you do decide to give up you should not feel at all guilty, but really proud of how you have given your daughter the very best start in life.

When you go back to work you will need to make some time for yourself - in the end you'll be a better mum to DD if you try to minimise exhaustion.

Totally agree with Munro. You've done an amazing job and you should feel immensely proud of yourself. But it is time to think of your health now and how you can best manage a baby with returning to work. I think your baby needs you to be as fit and healthy (both mentally and physically) as possible and the benefits of this, IMO, outweigh the benfits of breast milk if it is exhausting you.

Well done, your baby will thrive whatever you choose to do.

Given up :-(

Am devastated.

From what you've described I think you've made the right decision for you and your family. Be proud of all that you DID achieve.

Don't be. you sound like a great mum doing the best of a fine balancing act!