To wake or not to wake?

[jumblejam]

Hello ladies. I'm new to Mumsnet and am hoping someone somewhere will be able to offer some wisdom, please!
I have 3 month old twins and am trying to encourage them to sleep longer in the night. (I'm not sure if encourage is the correct word here?!)
They are nearly 12 lb each and feed well. If anyone wouldnt mind reading through what we do and be able to offer any tips then I'd be really grateful as I think that it is something that I am doing that is stopping them from sleeping that bit longer.
They take 5 oz every 3 1/2 hours or so starting at around 6am. At tea time I give them another 5oz (5pm) and another 5oz at bath tim (7.30pm) It has been known for one or the other of them to go from this feed until past midnight - and I must admit I always go to bed when they do as there is always a chance I will get a decent block of sleep. Should I wake them fully at 11pm to give them a feed or leave them and accept that the best block of sleep I'm going to get is in the time up to midnight rather than in the early hours of the new day. I hope this doesn't sound like I am being selfish - I love our little ones dearly but am completely and utterly knackered!!
I have tried the dreamfeed at 11pm but they seem to wake a couple of hours later. I've tried to resettle them without feeding but with there being two of them its a bit tricky to do shush pat and settle them together so its sometimes easier to just give them an oz or two to get them back to sleep.
It doesn't help that everyone I speak to is telling me that their little ones are sleeping longer in the night. I don't know what I am doing wrong. I'm not expecting miracles or for them to go completely through the night for a long while yet but if anyone could point me in the right direction on how to guide them to have their longer sleep between 11pm and the early morning I'd be ever so grateful as I feel completely clueless. Thanks for reading this far! xxx

Hi, I don't have the answers, but I can empathise.
With my son, now 19 months old used to do the play, bath, milk routine - we also tried the dream feed, but this just resulted in him wanting feeding 2 hours later - so we dropped it entirely and I just then fed him when he woke, usually around 2-3am. After a couple of weeks I then gave him a dummy whenever he woke in the night - he used to go back to sleep, so he couldn't have been that hungry because he just would have screamed the house down!! Once I knew he could go without the feeds I then took the dummy away (until teething commenced and he got it back!!!)
I now have a 9 week old daughter and I am doing the same sort of thing, dream feeds just don't work for my children, nor does waking them up entirely.
Going to bed at the same time as the twins is very sensible.
Does one wake the other? Are they near each other in the bedroom?
Sorry I can't help more, just wanted to answer so you know there is support out there.
xxx

I think its very much trial and error, with DS1 waking him for a dream feed made no difference to his sleep at all and he would still wake for a feed at 2 ish. DS2 if i wake him will feed then sleep till about 6am (although if i am shattered I do leave him to wake naturally and head to bed when he does. If I was with twins I think I would go to bed when they did and feed when they woke (do they both wake around the same time?). Most people cut out the dream feed about 7 months anyhow so not that long to go!

Also don't believe everyone else when they say their little ones sleep through (peoples have a habit of fibbing about this, or perhaps their version of sleeping through is not the same as mine!)

Thanks for taking the time to reply. I'll keep doing as I'm doing...and keeping my fingers crossed! xx

Hi jumblejam
I have 19wo twins. They sleep from 7pm to 7am with a 30 minute dreamfeed at 1030pm (and I am not fibbing). They have done this since about 12 weeks old. Prior to that they used to wake once in the night, at first it was about 230am but gradually got later and later until it reached 630am one day and they have done it ever since.

I have followed a routine since the day we got out of hospital. For first few weeks it was 3 hourly feeding and I would wake them during the night every 3 hours. Once they were both over 6lb I stopped waking them in the night. We moved to feeding every 4 hours when they were about 6 weeks old. So now their schedule is roughly
7am feed
9am nap for up to 1 hour
11am feed
1230pm nap up to 2 hours
3pm feed
5pm nap around 30 mins
6pm bath
630pm feed
1030pm feed

Although I appreciate not all babies are the same, I think the things that get them sleeping through the night are (1) getting enough milk in the day (2) getting the right amount of daytime sleep and (3) understanding the difference between night and day.

At 12 wo I think mine were drinking 6oz 5 times a day. Can they take a little more at each feed so that they are not hungry in the night?
Are they sleeping too much/not enough in the daytime?
Do you have a bedtime routine with a bath, change into pj's, lullabies, dim lights etc?
These are what have worked for me.

Hope this helps and doesn't sound insufferably smug. Join us on the multiple births board, we have a thread for twins under 1yr