Bottle refuser and returning to work - drastic measures necessary?

[BakingBunty]

DS (almost 7 months) has refused bottles since he was six weeks old. We've tried everything - different teats, places, people, times. I'm due to return to work at the start of June (when DS will be 9 months) and was hoping to have him drinking milk from a cup by then, especially as I've had some success with water. However, I spoke to a lady who has helped a lot of mums move from breast to bottle yesterday, and although she was very nice, she has worried me a lot. She said:

1. Babies reduce their milk intake drastically if they go straight from breast to cup
2. 7 months is a critical time; after that point, if your baby doesn't take a bottle, they probably never will
3. The only sure fire way is to go cold turkey: just stop breastfeeding, and only offer solids and a bottle until LO caves in. And then never breastfeed again because they will always prefer it and start to refuse the bottle again.

The thought of going cold turkey made me weep. I just think it's so harsh - I can't bear the thought of putting DS through it, especially as it's essentially to suit me (I'm fortunate enough to be going back to work 3 days a week because I want to, rather than because I HAVE to - I love my job). Also, we've worked so hard to establish breastfeeding and I finally really enjoy it after a rocky start. I feel so emotional about just giving it up entirely.

Is there any truth in what she said? Especially point 1? Would a cup be ok for one feed in the day, with me BFing morning and evening? And probably night, knowing DS!

Any advice or experience would be massively appreciated. Thank you.

My DD never took a bottle

I returnded to work when she was 8 months

Will post more soon ....

Thanks so much rubyslippers! Look forward to hearing about it.

Did she say why it reduces? Would be interested to know as I'm supposed to return to work when DD is 7 months and was hoping to skip bottle and go straight to a cup with expressed milk for the nights I won't be home.

Ok - you don't need to go cold turkey

I fed DD before I went to work, on my return and a dream feed

Her 2 pm feed was quickly replaced with a snack

She drank from a cup from 8/9 months

I am still feeding her and she is 2.5 years ...

For the first few weeks, she leapt on me when I got home, then it settled down

She has never, ever had a bottle and actually it is fine. At 7 months DD was eating quite well and drinking water etc so I woudnt necessarily panic

Was actually pleased I didn't have t have the hassle of bottles and sterilising on top of a full time job!

Your child doesn't need a bottle IMO

Sounds like rubbish to me. Won't you get mastitis going cold turkey? Who was the lady you spoke to? I am hoping to miss out bottles altogether with dc2 and HV I spoke to said that would be fine.

fhdl34, she said that until babies are a year or so old, they have to be coaxed to use a cup and/or need a bit of help, and don't take as much. DS is my first (pfb!) so I don't know how true that is.

Rubyslippers, thank you so much for sharing your experience. It's given me lots more confidence. I will work on getting to three feeds a day plus one night feed (at the moment we're on four plus a feed between 12-3am, although he occasionally sleeps through).

Felicity, she was a lady I met through a mums group I belong to. She has a great hit rate and reputation, but her methods clearly aren't for everyone! I think you'd have to express to avoid mastitis, and gradually reduce the number of times you pumped.

That woman gave you ridiculous advice - you do not have to go cold turkey!
I was in a similar position to you with ds3. I returned to work after each of my sons at 7-9 months and each one has got on to a bottle differently but none went cold turkey.
Ds3 was hardest and refused a bottle from the start but to be fair a didn't try very hard early on as he had a chest infection then ear infections and he wanted the comfort from mummy!
I exclusively bf but did express and he refused breastmilk from a bottle too.
Ds1 and ds2 had expressed breastmilk only on the odd evening I went out but were happy to have it. Ds3 was a different story and just didn't want a bottle. When he got to 5 months I tried him with a doidy cup (you can get them cheaply online for about £3) and he wierdly would happily take bm then formula milk from that. He would have maybe an ounce and that was it. I just kept offering it to him and breastfed him the rest of the time but never refused him bf.
At 6 1/2 months I thought no point trying to make him take a "teat" type bottle only to try to get him on a sippy cup in a few months time. So I started trying him on a "born free" cup which had interchangeable test or soft spouts (which are also great for teething). I tried him little and often with it with formula (as I knew from experience I can't express enough when back at work) but again never made him miss a bf. he would just chew and play with it. Then when he was 7 months he started trying to suck it a tiny bit and would have maybe half an ounce and it just gradually built up from there. I gradually dropped one bf a week and substituted it with formula. He also completely refused baby food and was not interested until nearly 6 1/2 months when he suddenly wanted anything I ate baby led style. Solids from the off!
I went back to work in November dropping the lunchtime feed 2 days beforehand and he didn't notice. Now he is 12 months, still bf at 7pm and 6.30am. He has always been 91st ptl so it has not slowed his growth down!
Some babies just take their time. Ds1 guzzled breastmilk from the bottle at 6 weeks. Ds3 took perseverance, little and often. You don't have to go cold turkey if you don't want to but you might have to be very patient.

No drastic measures required here.
I went back at 9 months with DD and planning to do same again with DS and neither has ever had a bottle. The whole bottle thing seems a waste of time to me.
DS has just turned 9mo and even though he's with me all day at the moment he never really asks for a feed in the daytime so I know he will manage a day without. He is a good eater and drinks water from a sippy cup.
I found it fine to bf morning, pick up and evening (and in the night still here I'm afraid ).
For DD I did express and leave a cup of milk with the CM but she was not such a good eater. I don't think it was a necessity really.
Definitely don't stop bf and don't bother trying to get him to have a bottle just offer him water from a cup at mealtimes and he'll gradually get the hang of it.

Glad to be of help!

Honestly i personally couldn't have been bothered to pump especially after a return to work ...

Keep on doing what youre doing - babies are very adaptable IMO

I'd like to add my experience too.

My son never ever took a bottle and went full-time to nursery from 9 months.

He didn't like formula or expressed milk so I introduced a cup which he drank water from at meals. When other kids had bottles, he ate Greek yoghurt, which he loved.

He was a good eater at meals which helped but I carried on breastfeeding till 16mo in the morning/night/evening and then gave up.

Now at 19mo, he still doesn't really like milk much but has a good diet with yoghurt/cheese/water so I don't worry too much.

Happy to offer my experience in more detail if you want it but it's perfectly possible to get by with a bottle refuser, so don't feel too down!

I like to know why she thinks that they woun't take a bottle after 7months. Both mine where bottle refussers but when older (can't remeber age with DD) But DS was probably 10-11 months he would try to pinch other baby's bottles. Think it was the novalty as he's never had one of his own.

But they aren't supposed to have bottles after 12months anyway as they can cause teeth problems so why start one just for a few months when you then have to try and wean them off it.

I think her advice is quit antiquated. You may have to put up with revers cycling if he woun't take much milk during the day but not all baby's do this.

Wow, thank you all - what fantastic advice. I feel a million times better knowing that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I've spent months thinking that it would be brilliant to give up breastfeeding, as we have struggled a lot. But now I'm faced with it, I've realised that I really don't want to stop, despite my desire to return to work. And you've all given me hope that I won't have to.

Bf is such a special bond..... As mentioned earlier ds 3 still bf twice per 24 hours and I love it let alone him.... He is gradually wanting less thou and I will be sad when he stops.
I would just see how you go with a cup ... Really recommend the doidy cup .... It was my big breakthrough!

my son didn't [couldn't] take a bottle.
i went back to work when he was almost six months.i worked shifts.
if possible my husband brought him to me for a feed at teatime.
i expressed once a shift which took no time at all [hand expressed,kneeling on floor ,leaning over coffee table,both sides at once].
we coped.he made up for it when i got home.
he never took a bottle.
i weaned him age 2.5 when i was pregnant again

You definitely do not have to give up breastfeeding if you don't want to, Bunty. I was so worried I'd be leaving my baby without his mum at daycare AND hungry without a bottle.

But that wasn't the case at all. And for me, breastfeeding really helped both me and my son feel ok about being apart for long periods when I was back at work.

Whatever you decide, don't worry about this woman's advice at all. As you can see from all the answers here, there are plenty of ways of doing things that aren't nearly as hardcore as hers!!!

I have been back at work for 3 weeks and my ds has never had a bottle.

I express at lunchtimes and his nursery give him half the milk on his weetabix and he takes the other half from a sippy cup. he has lots of water during the day, and seems to eat more solids there than he does at home.

I feed him before I leave for work, as soon as I get home (I am not allowed even to go to the loo 1st!) and before bed. (through the night too, but that is a different thread)

So far so good though. He seems quite happy with his lot. He is 9 mo btw