Nervous to try BF again-36wks preg, still feel bad failing last time, ds now 3yrs

[Squidgybumbum]

Any tips for me?

Managed 4 weeks bf last time with ds and now about to try again with dd. Last time was in sooo much pain with cracked and bleeding nips, got rubbish advice from MWs and was taking paracetamol and ibuprofen every few hours, but in the end it didn't touch the pain and I stopped. Was also utterly knackered after a long painful birth which prob didn't help. My Mum never tried bf with any of us so her advice was always do go formula and my MIL was just a natural at it apparently so I don't think she or my OH could understand why I was so crap at it! I do have very dry skin so this time I have already stocked up on creams which I am hoping will help...

Also- now I have a 3yo boy this time, how much boobs, milk and mess do you let your little ones see when bf???? (Don't want to scar him for life and he does have quite an interest in by boobs as it is!) - I seem to remember not being very good at feeding discretely last time, it was all just out there.

4 weeks is better than not trying at all don't beat yourself up!! And when it comes to kids seeing you at least he'll learn boobies are for mummy milk not just to stare at :)

i reckon you've got every chance of being fine! you know pretty much all you need to know from last time, get boob out, wiggle nipple under babys nose/on top lip, wait til mouth is open wide, cram in as much boob as you can, watch babies jaw/ear move, listen for tiny swallowing sound, repeat endlessly!

your little boy will be very interested but that will wear off as it carrys on. being secretive will make it more interesting for him so if you can let him see generally it'll be fine. you're approaching warmer weather so the 'two tops' method, one up, one down, boob sandwich type thing, will not leave you too exposed anyway!

My advice would be try and find your local breastfeeding support now while your still PG. Ie do you have a drop in group.

Go chat to them while you are PG, look at the breast begginings website to see what a good latch should look like.

And read Kellymom to.

As for your older one seeing everthing don't worry it good for him to learn that's what boobs are for. I never hid anything from DD she was 3 1/2 when I had DS.

I agree that an antenatal BF group would be helpful. I also found hanging around this forum helped me immensely.

I didn't manage to BF my first 3 DC for very long (3 weeks was the most I managed) but am still BF this baby at 9 months and intend to continue to self weaning, so please don't be put off by the fact you didn't BF for as long as you wanted to last time.

I am just training to be a BF peer supporter with the NHS and the scheme runs whereby women can ask for support from another Mum. I am not sure if your area has something like this (in ours it is called 'best buddies') but your midwife or HV might know if you think this is something that might be helpful to you. I think the key thing is the peer supporters have plenty of time to offer, whereas health professionals may always be rushed or maybe just not knowledgeble enough.

I had similar problems to you with my now 3 yr old ds, but I'm now on day 11 with ds2 and it's so much easier this time. I think it's a mixture of knowing what I'm doing more, and the skin on my nipples seems to be tougher. I had a very painful couple of days but now they're fine. Good luck with it and only do what you can. I know I'll only carry on for as long as the positives outway the negatives.

Thanks ladies for the wonderful advice, I wish I'd known about mumsnet last time, you really can't beat real women with real experience x

I had latching on problems with my DS, now 3.5 and a nightmare with pain/cracked nipples/ended up having to express etc and as a result found bfing a really unpleasant and stressful experience. So when I was pregnant with his sister, now 7 months I was determined I would not let this previous experience effect the way I fed her. I felt like If I knew as much as possible about breast feeding this would be a great help so I read a book by Ina May Gaskin - Guide to Breastfeeding which really helped me understand things I did wrong the first time purely because I didn't know any better. I also found it very helpful to watch some breastfeeding/latching on videos on you tube - this might seem a bit obsessive but it helped so much in terms of reminding me how to position the baby etc. Anyway, it obviously worked as I managed to exclusively bf DD for 6 months (still give her 2 feeds a day now) and relatively far more easily than with DS. She never lost any weight after the birth whereas DS lots almost 20% and I felt much more in control of the whole situation. It was still painful for a week or two but we got past this and all was well. My DS was fine with me feeding her too and actually got to the point that whenever she cried he would tell me to feed her. I'm sure your DS will be fine with it, they're very accepting of things at this age I think. Good luck and get that book if you can! x

I would also recommend insisting on seeing a tongue-tie specialist if it is painful again. I was told by 4 midwives DS2 didn't have tongue-tie, even though it was excruciating. Saw a specialist bf counsellor at the local hospital and she diagnosed and snipped there and then. It took a few days to get on track but it was the best thing that happened. Bfing in pain is impossible so don't be hard on yourself.

I wasn't very successful with BF DiddyDragon (3.5) and only lasted 8 days. I've now been feeding DiddyCakes for 10 months and until 9 months he'd never had formula (had to start mix feeding when I went back to work).

I think the difference second time round was a much easier birth and more support from a breastfeeding support group at the children's centre as well as mumsnet. I had no idea children's centres existed when I had DiddyDragon and got no help at all with feeding beyond a midwife at the hospital asking if she was feeding frequently. It was painful, resulted in damaged nipples & a definite resentment of my baby daughter. This time I was supported and had far more friends to speak to about feeding as I started going to the baby groups and so on before he was born, so definitely think thatgoing antenatally is a good idea.

Hello - I am bfeeding my 4 month old boy. He is my 4th baby and the first I have managed to breast feed. The first 3 were one who never latched on and two where the positioning was so bad the pain was excruciating and there looked as if there was more blood than there was milk. Very horrible, depressing and miserable. The last time I was doing that was 4 years ago and thought when I had my 4th baby I'd give it another try but had all the bottle feeding stuff ready because I couldn't believe it would work. BUT...I am successfully feeding him and it hardly hurt at all. A bit of a twinge in the first week but nothing much. I did apply lanisnoh after every feed right from the start - didn't wait to get sore first. My nipples were a bit chapped fro the first two weeks but just a bit uncomfortable, not really painful. So it CAN be a totally different experience. The only thing I think I did differently was be prepared for it to be painful and not to mind if I chose to give up which made me much more relaxed. Also the midwife in the hospital suggested bringing the baby up to the breast from underneath with the arm opposite to the breast and then once you had a comfortable latch, bringing the other arm round for support. Sounds crazy but I had never done it that way before and it made a huge difference for me. Also, I took time to take the baby off and reposition whereas before I was so relieved to have got them on I left them there even if it was painful. Last thing is my first 3 all have mouths with thin bottom lips that curl in while the top lip juts out. DC4 has very full lips which are always in a natural pout. Not saying this is essential of course but I wonder if it helped him find a position that was more immediately comfy for me - I had less to have to manipulate to get in position if you see what I mean.

So - it can work like a dream even if it hasn't before and all credit to you trying again - it really has been worth it for me. Very best of luck and if it doesn't work don't get upset and just get on with enjoying your baby without feeling like a failure. Easy to say I know but please don't think you've failed if you decide to use bottles again. You haven't.

Lanisoh cream - after every single feed, that would be my advice (as well as what's been mentioned up thread). With dry nipples I think prevention is better than cure, so grease them up!