Please could someone reassure me about feeding ds (13 m)

[Faverolles]

I've been having a few comments from a couple of people - not meant to be nasty or anything, but they've made me doubt what I'm doing.
Ds is 13 months. We BLW (not really by choice, he's a mush refuser), but since Christmas, he seems to have had one virus after the other, and his eating isn't as reliable any more. He has seen the dr about the constant colds, and she says it's fine, he's just going through an ill phase, and his eating will come back when he's ready.
Some days he'll eat fine, other days next to nothing. He breastfeeds on demand, which is usually a couple of times in the night, and 3 or 4 times during the day. When he's ill, he bfeeds more and eats less.
So I've had comments that he doesn't need to feed at night, and he should be sleeping through by now. (we cosleep)
Also that he needs cows milk, as it's more substantial.
And that he's rubbish at eating because he knows there's always boob available. (when he's well, his feeds are fairly settled, and he's not constantly feeding)
I've also been told horror stories of co-sleeping and demand feeding having terrible effects on his teeth - apparently they'll rot.
I'm sorry this is long, but please come and talk to me about this. He's my 4th baby, and for the first time, I feel I'm doing this the way I'm happy with, but now the recent comments (again, not meant nastily) have left me feeling like I'm getting it all wrong.

OK, I think I can help here - I'll try anyway :)

he doesn't need to feed at night, and he should be sleeping through by now Bollocks IME. When mine have had phases of not eating or being ill they do need to feed at night, either for comfort or sometimes because they're genuinely hungry. As for sleeping through, if they should be sleeping through by 13 months then my children, myself, DH, my siblings and many of my friends children must all be abnormal.

Also that he needs cows milk, as it's more substantial
I think you probably know that this is bollocks, but in case you don't it's bollocks. The human race would have died out several million years ago if babies needed cows milk!

And that he's rubbish at eating because he knows there's always boob available
Bollocks and pish, pish, pish, he's not rubbish at eating, he's a one year old!

I've also been told horror stories of co-sleeping and demand feeding having terrible effects on his teeth - apparently they'll rot
Hmmm, let me think ... bollocks! BFing is less likely to cause tooth decay than drinking cows milk from a bottle. The suckling motion is different and milk does not pool behind the front teeth in the same way as it would if the baby fed from an artificial teat. In my case study of two (DS, now 4.8, fed until 2.3, who has perfectly healthy teeth according to the dentist last week, and DD, 18m, still feeding day and night) BFing doesn't cause an increase in tooth decay. I might be able to dig out some proper evidence if you like but to be honest it shouldn't be necessary because guess what, none of this is anyone else's business!

You're doing a fantastic job. Let DS decide what he needs, not some random know-it-all gobshites. :)

Thankyou :)

The teeth thing, I've been told about dc needing their molars removing because pooled breastmilk (which is sugary) has rotted them.
I hope it's wrong!

Sorry to hear your DS is having a hard time with the illnesses - if it is any reassurance, what you have described is DD3 (nearly 1) to a tee. I am so glad to be able to bf her through all these bugs, it keeps her hydrated and I know that she is at least getting something when her appetite is so poor because she is unwell.
Try not to let other people's thoughtless comments get to you, it sounds to me like you're doing a great job - and with 3 other kids to look after as well, that can't be easy.
i think the only comment that does hold any weight is the one about the teeth. I brush hers morning and night, but not after night feeds. Feel it is the best I can do under the circumstances and I am happy with that.
Am desperately hoping that Spring will arrive soon and that the constant cycle of bugs will be broken, it has been neverending these last few months. Maybe then I can even dream of her not needing to feed at night!
You're definitely not alone, try not to worry about what others think, your approach sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

i think i posted on your other thread when your DS was poorly!

i reckon bollocks and pish too.

i actually wished i was still feeding 2.6 year old DS when he was ill recently, as he was hardly eating anything. :)

he started sleeping through by himself gradually between about 10 months and 18 months, he's pretty good now and is only up if cold or ill/thirsty. i didn't do any night weaning or anything.

am planning to go with the flow with dc2 due next month, so i hope they're as chilled out as their big brother.

This is an interesting and, I feel, reassuring read if tooth decay is a concern

Also, and this might be flameworthy, these teeth are deciduous and as such they are to a degree expendable. The benefits of BFing, physically and emotionally, probably outweigh any small risk of decay. But that's just my opinion of course

thanks for this thread, I am getting the same with my 14month old.

Please don't let other peoples comments knock your confidence. You say you feel you are parenting in a way that feels right. It's great that you are able to breastfeed your little one through his poorly spells both for nutrition and comfort. Keep going.

Your bm will be a godsend to his system if he is ill. No one feels like eating when ill so with or without u feeding him he wouldn't be eating much else anyway least ur milk will keep him nourished and hydrated while he fights the bugs and gets his appetite back :)

Ohbugrit - thanks for the link - very interesting :)