Baby will not settle after night feeds!

[liliesandwine]

Hi,

Can anyone help. E is one week and one day old and has taken to the breast really well. Perhaps a bit too well. During the day the feeds are going well but the community midwife has cautioned that she is tending to use me as a soother towards the end of feeds. To get on top of this, I have been told to limit the feeds to no longer than an hour all in, including winding, nappy changing etc. then give her to Dad if she won't settle. This seems to be working and E is learning quickly that she needs to feed when she is on the breast as it will be taken away.

Our problems come at night however. When E has her feeds through the night, she simply won't go back down for hours. She gets really fretful and her Dad has to get out of bed to soothe her as she just keeps rooting around on me, even after hours. Last night, we woke her at 2am to feed and didn't get her back down until about 4.20am. Going by the 3 hourly feeding schedule we are using, she would have been due her next feed at 5am but as she had only just gone down, we left her to sleep until her 8am feed. We are unsure how to combat this. Just to be clear, Dad is happy to do his bit as he dotes on her and is totally behind the breast feeding but I'm concerned about how this will all have an impact when Dad has to go back to work in a few weeks. If she is getting 6 feeds a day with a top up of expressed breast milk at the last feed of the day, i.e. 11pm at night, does it seem acceptable to let her sleep for longer through the night and maybe cut down to one night feed when she wakes naturally. We tried this once and she woke naturally around 5am and settled much better after the feed. It seems to be getting woken up that she doesn't like. I'm torn between whether or not it is better to wake her up but then have a very unsettled baby on our hands, or let her sleep but knowing that she is going longer than 3 hours for her next feed. If I chose to go with the latter, that would mean 7 feeds in 24 hours with top up as and when necessary (usually at the last feed).

Sorry this is a bit long winded but any advice and/or insight would be really appreciated.

Oh bess her, and you, she is so small, of course she uses you for comfort, you are her entire world! Your MW is talking rubbish and at this stage limiting her feeds is just going to cause problems for you. Feeding all the time is normal normal normal and will change as she gets bigger and more awake in the daytime.

Nights are hard. Personally the only way I have ever got through them is to feed in bed. If you can master the art of laying down to feed you can latch her on and sleep as she feeds :) If she is asleep at night don't wake her, throw the scedule out of the window and feed her when she wants it. She isn't daft, unless there are other concerns (jaundice etc) then she will wake when hungry.

Ads I type I have 5 day old ds2 on my lap asleep after feeding. Last night he fed every hour and a half. Today he seems to be spacing his feeds more. Yesterday he would feed half an hour, 2 min sleep and belch on my shoulder then back on half an hour. Grunt and poo. Back on for a bit. Then awake half an hour. Then feed to sleep.

What I'm trying to say is that when they are so small every day is different, she will gradually space her feeds naturally if you just follow her cues.

Well my 6 Mth is currently snoozing on me so probably no help. Do you wake her for her 3 hourly feeds normally then?

Hi there, just giving your post a bit of a bump - someone with proper knowledge will be along soon.

I think you need to ignore the community midwife. At this stage you should be letting your baby feed for as long and as frequently as she likes (at least 8-12 feeds in 24 hours) as this is how she will build up your supply. Feeds can last much longer than an hour. 'dummy sucking' at this stage is good for stimulating milk supply.

Babies have free access to nourishment in the womb, so they can't automatically put themselves on a feeding schedule, so you have to be patient.

I am not sure about waking in the night - someone else will advise. I did for the first week as my DD2 was very sleepy but I woke every 4 hourly at night after the first five days and after ten days I stopped night wakings. The best thing to do is to safely co-sleep if you can, so the baby has free access to the breast during the night. This will allow you to get some rest too and there won't be much settling required.

Obviously newborns cry and do get unsettled and night times can be tough - not all babies settle down after a feed. You need to keep stimulation to a mininum, low lighting, no talking and no unnecessary nappy changes.

Hang in there, it all gets better and easier with time. The newborn stage is a such a shock to first time parents, take each day as it comes and keep posting here!

Cross posted, - everything Indith said!

For the first 6 weeks at least (possibly 12), you really should feed on demand, especially at night.

Your tiny baby needs boob not just for food but comfort too. Nothing wrong with that at all.

Night feeds are the best for building up supply quickly.

DD is 14 weeks and the early weeks seem so far away but there was a lot of feeding. I also carried her in a sling all the time - that's probably the best way you'll get the hang of things when it's just you. Plus she'll get comfort from being near you and won't always want to feed if she's close by.

Perhaps go to a local BF group - they will have BF specialists (which the MW is not) and can give you loads of tips.

What all the other ladies have said. Ignore the (ill informed) midwife and ditch the 3 hour schedule, she's way too young for that and it will be bad for your supply.

It is normal for them to feed all the time at this age and for the times of the feeds to vary. Comfort sucking is a good thing although it's more likely to be her getting the really good fatty milk at the end of a feed. Always let baby come off the breast herself. Just listen to her and don't worry about watching the clock.

Agree with everyone else, pluss read this www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html

Really you should never restict a one week olds' feeding it'll have a detramental effect on your milk supply and she should be having AT lest 8-12 feeds in 24hours. Although some unseual baby's will thrive on less.

Plus you have introduce a bottle very early the adivce is not before 6week's as this can lead to a preferance for the bottle and breast regection (although some baby's seem to swap between the two easily). Only use expressed breast milk for this bottle if you really want to keep it as any formula will also have a negative effect on your supply.

If she is feeding well in the day, gaining weight and having lots of good wet (at lest 6) and at lest 2 dirty nappies a day then you can leave them to wake at night. If not then you should wake them at lest every 4hours overnight and feed at lest every 2hours during the day.

But if you are going to do this then then you should be doing the 11pm feed yourself and giving the bottle at a different time as a long gap between feeds at this early age again could have a negative impact on your supply.

Or at lest you'd need to be expressing at the 11pm feed as well.