What was the main factor in deciding how to feed your baby?

[LucyJu]

Someone said on the Channel 4 program thread that she didn't think that people decided to breastfeed or not on the basis of perceived health benefits. I did. But what was the main influence on other people's decisons? I'd be really interested to know.... I really don't want this thread to digress into a bottle vs breast debate (plenty of those elsewhere), or to have any arguments about whether anyone's reasons are good or valid. I would simply be interested to know, if anyone has the time.....
The main factor in my case was that my dh has Crohn's disease and I wanted to minimise the chance of my dds developing the same condition in later life.

I breastfed mainly for the health reasons. I found it hard work and not hugely enjoyable, although I did gain a huge amount of satisfaction from the fact that I actually did it, and of course there were very special moments of closeness. I was never one of those mums who positively enjoys bf and feels upset when its over- I found the fact that only I could feed my babies fairly burdensome at times.

I never considered Bottle feeding at all - and plan to breast feed DS for a year as I think that it is the natural and healthy way to start life. There is too much manufactured, processed food in our culture and I plan to avoid them for DS for as long as possible.

Bonding - Ended up with emergency caesarean and felt that this would help to compensate (in my mind) for the lack of natural birth. Putting baby to the breast for the first time is an amazing experience and I want to continue this nutritious bond with my son for his first year.

Am not anti-bottle but I think that there could be a lot more breastfeeders if we changed our needs to rush around and also social perception that breastfeeding is the difficult option.

naturemum, I think my ES-C led me to think of longer than anticipated bfing as 'compensation' for the fact that we didn't have the homebirth I'd wanted, so I know where you're coming from on that one! I think I felt my body had let me/us down a bit and needed to pay me/us back somehow!

EC-S, not what I put, sorry.

Hi Racers - yes, I had planned home birth and nearly got there. Had approx 16 hours labour at home with three hours pushing without success as baby was big (9lbs 7oz) and I am small. Ambulance to hospital etc.

I couldn't have immediate skin-to-skin which I felt was really important so BFing definitely helped with bonding. As soon as I was in post-op I put baby to the breast and it was fantastic. It has been a lovely journey since then!

That's great! I wouldn't describe my journey as lovely but not the hellish problems some people have either. Somewhere in between

Described it for a long time as a love/hate relationship (me+bf) but it improved and I love it now (7.5m)

This, btw, was not my main factor, but I think it probably had an effect on keeping me going when I wanted to give up, along with health benefits, convenience and many of the reasons other people have given.

sheer laziness led me to BF, I'm afraid. Sheer laziness is keeping me going at 16mo.

It's not my main factor either health benefits for baby and don't want to go down the 'formula' route.

BF dd1 until about 4mths. Never really considered bottles as bf just seemed the natural thing to do. As others have said, I felt that as i was producing the milk, specific to my baby then why not give it to her. I stopped as I had PND and dd was losing weight. I was advised by the HV to give bottles and the rest is history. Having idealised bf a bit and not given a thought to bottles, I was upset about stopping and having to give her 'second best'. Having said that, I found it a great relief at the time to have someone else feed her occasionally(I felt guilty about that too - ridiculous I know). That was over 8 yrs ago and Now Im a bit p'd off that I wasn't given more support to carry on.

DD2 is 11 mths and still bf happily. I was determined to do it for as long as poss after the last experience. Much more clued up now thanks to the internet and sites like this, support has been invaluable to keep it going. Also, the bond I feel when feeding her is lovely. Its the only quiet time we get really as shes a bit full on otherwise.

I decided to breast feed because it was best for the baby. After battling with breast feeding, and saying 'I'm only going to do it for six weeks', and then 'I'm only going to feed until four months', I'm actually still going at six months, and contemplating carrying on until two years. It's good for ds, it's good for me, it bonds us, and it's relaxing.

I always intended to BF for the health benefits. Did not even buy any bottles for DS. But he was early small and tube fed and I was not allowed to touch him in hospital for the first two days because of his temperature. However I did percevere and mixed fed for 10 months. I was really disappointed but he turned out alright. With dd then was a bit scared but she took to it straight away and carried on although did allow dh to give her a bottle at night so I could go to bed early. He loved staying up with her and they have a good relationship now.

Sorry my health reasons where that I am asthmatic with high blood pressure at 38, despite eating a healthy diet and being slim so am hoping this will help babes not be so bad. Only time will tell.

I liked what harpsichordcarrier said about how she watched her sisters breastfeeding their babies and loved the way the baby's eyes roll back in their heads with the pleasure of it. I am breastfeeding my fifth baby right now and thats what i love.
And I'm definately in the lazy corner, and the health benefits corner too.
For me breastfeeding felt the natural choice and I have loved every minute of it five times over!

With DS1, I thought about bf but was scared not to be able to share the night time feeds with DH. I knew I need a lot of sleep in the best times so didn't really see how I would manage wothout any help. I also though that it meant DH could not feed him for the first 4~6 months of his life and that would have some effect on their future rekationship. I still did give bf a go though but no efficient help at the hospital and when the midwife came saying that DS1 was getting dehydrated, I just gave up and gave him a bottle.
With DS2, I really really wanted to bf because DS1 turned out to be allergic to cow's milk. I did a lot of research, found a bf counsellor before hand and it worked! DS2 has also turned to be allergic to cow's milk so it was the right decision. But it took more time to DH to bound with him .

I feel that breastmilk is the only milk thats right for babies, so there was no choice in my mind I was going to bf even if that meant recruiting a whole team of bfing counsellors to help..

I also couldn't bear the idea of giving any money to formula companies with their seriously dodgy ethics.. and ingredients as it keeps turning out..

Lasted one week breastfeeding. It was tearing us all apart - tears, pain (probably not as bad as many that have written in). Felt that trying to breastfeed was getting in the way of me bonding with dd; started to resent her even which is a terrible thing to admit. I also found that sharing the bottle feeding was really lovely for dh and other close relatives to be involved in.
Plus hated being told by midwives and hv's what I should be doing - never that good at taking direction!

Didn't find making up the bottles a faff; got in to a routine. Also used the Lindam Day and Night Feeder system which is the most amazing invention ever. Prepared the bottles in the evening, put 2 in the cooler section and then heated up in minutes - all in our bedroom.

DD was sleeping through from 6 weeks, and I am sure it was because she got enough milk during the day. With breast feeding, never knew how much she was getting poor love!

Have to say that dd is v healthy (touch wood) especially if I compare her to my 3 nephews who were all breastfed.

I was the same as Roxwood. I work in Health Promotion, and spend my working days surrounding by messages of breast is best - which I firmly believe it is. I read as much as I could, spoke to as many people as I could and got breastfeeding counsellors arranged through our ante-natal classes at NCT - and then drew on that knowledge and determination after I had both of my children.

Plus the idea of paying money to unethical formula companies just didn't sit well either.

Bottlefed Dd1 regretted it after a few weeks but wasn't given any help in hospital so after an emergancy c section and difficulty larching on i decided to bottle feed.
Dd1 was a very content, happy baby who fed brilliantly she even slept through the night at 8 weeks.

Dd2 was breastfed for 2 months but again problems latching on and no support in hospital. Ended up using nipple shields for the whole time so feeding in public was impossible.
Dd2 has more excema than Dd1 ever had and at 8 months has not slept through which i'm sure is due to the early weeks of feeding every hour!!

All in all i enjoyed breastfeeding and next baby i will definatly try again hopefully with a bit more support and no nipple shields !!

A happy mum and baby is the most important thing breast or bottle fed.

I haven't read all the thread so I don't know if there is a heated debate going on or not or what other people have said but ...
I don't think there are that many people who decide when pregnant for the first time to bottle feed are there? I mean, all my friends who have bottle fed all tried to breastfeed first. I have one friend admittedly who only tried for the first day and then went to bottles (she has a rare condition that means she bruises very easily and she tried with all 3 of her babies and after 24 hours each time she was black and blue and so gave up and still feels very sad about it)
I only know one person who decided before the births of her first two children that breastfeeding wasn't for her but with her 3rd gave it a go for 48 hours and decided it really wasn't what she wanted to do.
I think most people want to but give up in the early days for what ever reason don't they?

In my case it didn't even occur to me not to ... it is what my body is made for ... I didn't even buy a steriliser or any bottles when I was pregnant. It came as a bit of a shock that we had issues but those issues had nothing to do with the initial latching on and milk coming in thing ... DS had obviously read the manual and so I was very lucky I think because it was only later that I found out how hard some people find it. I gave up after 6 weeks due to those other issues but when I was pregnant with DD I made the 'decision' that nothing short of my boobs falling off was going to stop me breastfeeding ... I knew what to do to get it going but the key for me was to keep it going ... and I did for nearly a year so I was rather pleased with myself.

I find that those of my friends who have not managed it and have given up early can be quite sensitive about the subject so it isn't something I go on about but when my friend and I (the one who bruises) do talk about it my argument is that we all have things we can do and things we can't do ... she can pop out babies with a short labour and no stitches but can't breastfeed ... I can't give birth and have to have c/sections (something I feel terribly sad about) but can breastfeed ...

Being a good mother (I believe) had nothing to do with how long your labour is and whether you breastfeed ... parenting is not about that ... ask the adoptive mums around us ...

Anyway, this post may have nothing to do with the thread and whatever direction it took but I wanted to get it off my chest.

Cheers

I ithink it does depend on where you are.

Here in the West of Scoltand, breast feeding rates are highly correalted with postcodes. So if you are in the nice middle class enclaves, you breast feed. If you're not, you don't.

It's not even a case of meaning to with the first one and then failing. Dh's sister - and as far as I can make out, most of her peers - never even considered breast feeding (and yes, she does live in the the sort of area where breast feeding would not be common). She just assumed she would bottle feed.

However, she is an intelligent woman and was only ever supportive - and admiring - of the fact that I breast fed.

I haven't read all the thread either, but I made my decision to breast-feed (and have breast-fed DD1 & DD2 and am still feeding DS1 at 7 months!) by asking the question "if my baby could talk and make the decision, how would they choose to be fed?" - and it was as simple as that. I can't think of any reason why a baby would choose to be bottle fed rather than breast fed. I also think (whilst totally understanding that lots of people have lots of problems breast feeding) that with the right support and fore-knowledge of what the possible breast feeding problems might be, that there should be almost no-one who can't breastfeed if that's what they've chosen.
Sorry - don't want to sound smug at all - hope this post doesn't come across that way!

Really interesting thread. I am BF, tho' early days (emergency section a week ago). So far really enjoying it but recognise I am very lucky baby has taken to it too, DH very supportive (fetching and carrying whilst I am feeding and cup feeding LO at night).

Decision based on whole range of factors - having darn good go at BF but also recognise happy bottlefeeding mum+baby better than miserable BFmum+baby. I was adopted as baby so formula the only option and I seemed to turn out ok!

What strikes me is that decision is based partly on instinct, personal experience before you start feeding and health reasons: your decision then reinforced by attitudes and support (or lack of) from health professionals and your own support network (or lack thereof). I went to NCT classes and delivered at a 'baby-friendly' hospital which had specialist feeding advisors (we knew I might have to take meds post-delivery inconsistent with BF so expressed antenatally so LO could at least have some colostrum). Experience in hospital excellent. Support and advice there and at NCT made all the difference to me - made to feel BF was something I could do, how to make it work for us as a family etc BUT that it is a personal decision, could be problematic and if you don't want to/can't BF, formula isn't the end of the world and you should be equally supported.
Am also lucky that I work in HR and know the law on rights for maternity/new mothers inside out.
Frankly, think it is really sad that some have experienced such rubbish treatment from MW/Drs etc or employers that has made them feel bad/guilty etc about however they want to, or have had to feed.

I knew from first finding out that I was preg with my first child I wanted to BF because I think that is what they are there for providing your baby with all the nutrients it needs. I fed my first son till he was 15 months I only weaned him because I had no periods and I wanted to have another child(I know that sounds selfish) I got preg again a few months later and I am still BF my second son who is now 8 months. I do think that it is very demanding and you really have to be determined to do it with the support of the loved ones around you. My hubby is fantastic about me BFing although I cant let him touch them in a sexual nature (not until I have stopped feeding my son) This is each to their own though!
I am one of the lucky ones who had no probs at all BF and would recommend it to everyone. Saves you a lot of money, can delay periods, no going downstairs to fetch and heat bottles and nobody else can do it but you!
Good luck to all new BF mothers and babies

I assumed I'd breast feed and had every intention of doing so. Even managed ooh about 40 total over two days.

I had an ecs and absolutely NO help whatsoever from the midwives. One of whom told me she was too busy to show me how to feed dd properly and that if I wanted to feed her without it hurting then I'd have to figure out for myself where I was going wrong. Just what you need to hear eh?!

So in answer to the question I exclusive express feed for the first four weeks then mixed for the next three before stopping expressing altogether.

I regret not shooting said midwife and not trying harder but then there is always next time