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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

'dreamfeed' is waste of time and has turned into nightmare (slight exaggeration but still...)

26 replies

Moomin · 31/01/2006 11:20

Dd is 16wks old. she is in her own cot in our room. she (bottle)feeds frequently in the day, every 2-3 hours but won't take more than about 4oz and even if we stagger it over an hour she'll still only take 5oz at most.

Before we started putting her to bed earlier, she was staying up with us in her chair, carrycot or in our arms, sleeping for most of evening. we then fed her whenever we went up to bed and she was sleeping 6 or 7 hours after that, waking at anything between 5 and 7, which was great.

2 weeks ago we started putting her up to bed after her 7/8pm feed and she settles down really well. When we come up to bed we've been doing a 'dreamfeed' (about 4oz) at around 11pm which we thought would continue doing the trick keeping her satisfied until morning. WRONG! She now wakes at anything between 3 and 5 wanting another feed, then wants another at 7ish. Thought is was a growth spurt to begin with but it's dragging on a bit now. Should we just leave her to sleep and cut out the dreamfeed? It seems to be making her MORE hungry, not less, which doesn't make sense. Because she doesn't take much on board each feed i guess she's just not got a very big tummy - is this just tough luck then or can we do something else?

OP posts:

colditz · 31/01/2006 11:23

Tbh if she is waking up anyway, I would just let her sleep and let her wake when she wants to, and sod the dream feed. She is that funny age, eating and sleeping always go a bit odd apparantly.

PrettyCandles · 31/01/2006 11:25

Go back to what you were doing previously. It worked for you, and you can have another try at changing her routine in a month or so.

expatinscotland · 31/01/2006 11:26

It never worked for DD1. Better to just let her sleep if it's not working for you. Eventually, she'll go longer w/o needing a feed.

She's still pretty young and not eating solids yet.

RedZuleika · 31/01/2006 13:16

Are you sure it's food she's wanting? My DD is 16 weeks old too and her sleep pattern has changed suddenly. She was feeding at about 10.30 / 11 when we went to bed, then waking at about 5-ish for another feed, before going back to sleep. She then had a growth spurt a couple of weeks ago, during which she was feeding about five times a night. As we were co-sleeping, I knew she was hungry because - had I not been wearing a t-shirt - she'd have been going for self-service at the milk bar.

This calmed down, but after a few days she started waking several times around 3/4/5 o'clock. She waves her arms around, writhes and cries out - as if she's having a bad dream - or has wind or something. If I feed her, she'll take it - but my feeling is that it isn't the same as the growth spurt the week before.

I know this isn't helpful - and I haven't sussed what's going on here - but my feeling with mine is that there's something other than food at the root of it.

cod · 31/01/2006 13:17

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Moomin · 31/01/2006 15:03

isn't isn't tracy hogg-ism? i used to read threads and think it was people showing off about how well their child fed!

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Original poster

Moomin · 31/01/2006 15:05

but thanks for your input anyway cod. very illuminating as usual

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morningpaper · 31/01/2006 17:18

ah Moomin found your thread!

I think that this seems fine - it's easy to think that babies 'progress' in a linear fashion with sleeping i.e. getting longer and longer periods of sleep but in my experience this isn't the case. They are all over the place for the first year or so - growth spurts, teething, comfort, hunger, cold, blah blah.

Mine's the same age as you know - just go with the flow for now and get to bed an hour earlier. Good luck. xx

cod · 31/01/2006 17:21

Message withdrawn

LIZS · 31/01/2006 17:29

thought it was a GF/CLB coined word ! {whispers} btw what happened to the GF thread that started a few days ago , did it get deleted again ?

Moomin go back to how you were and see if that makes any difference. It may be a coincidental growth spurt or developmental change or it may be that her period of heavy sleep has just moved forward by her being asleep in a cot, so she is more likely to stir earlier. Sounds like she may just prefer feeding little and often whatever way you try.

RedZuleika · 31/01/2006 18:27

Why are GF threads being deleted??

Aloha · 31/01/2006 18:29

Surely there should be a new Mumsnet Topic called, 'My baby is 16 weeks and her/his sleep has gone wrong' - and all the threads could go there
Seriously, it's SO normal. They get to 16 weeks, grow a bit, become more aware and wake up more.

sickandtired · 31/01/2006 18:46

I wouldn't wake her, ds2 has always been a bit of a sod about nighttimes (he's 2 in march), I stopped giving him the 10pm one (when I went to bed) in november and he's going right through now, but when he had it he was waking again at 2/3am. Think about it, if you stuffed yourself and then tried to sleep you'd wake up with tummy ache (before anyone screams why were you still doing that at 1.5 he is under weight and won't really eat solids - and I worried!)

cod · 31/01/2006 19:35

Message withdrawn

pesme · 31/01/2006 19:54

dream feeds are just crazyiness. why anyone would want to disturb a sleeping baby is beyond me.

good luck it will get easier .... until teething that is.

devilJARM · 31/01/2006 19:59

hey moomin.

We tried dream feeding Becky when we went to bed and it caused HELL! Agree with others - dont give dream feed and see what happens!

Its all a bit new to me, because Jess was still having her dream feed until she turned 1!

Good luck hun xxx

ponto · 31/01/2006 21:27

Hi Moomin

We've had the same problem. Alice used to go to bed at 7, wake at 10, feed and then sleep till 4. Then she stopped waking and just slept till 4 anyway for a while (age 2 months), and woke again at 7ish. Then she started waking at 1 and again at 5 and 8, so I started waking her at 10.30 and she went back to sleeping till 4. But then one night last week she didn't really want to wake and since then she's been sleeping till 4 again. So it seems that whatever I do I'm going to be feeding at 4am!

Dd1 was the same, but I was following Gina Ford religiously that time and didn't dare stop feeding at 10. Wish I had as that would have let me have some early nights! I advise you to do the same!

Good luck

mcmudda · 31/01/2006 21:30

Agree with Aloha - 16 weeks is a weird time - growth spurts and the like - she'll settle down again, but it'll be unpredictable for a couple of weeks.

Piggiesmum · 01/02/2006 08:10

how did you get on last night Moomin.

I'm following this thread as I'm having the same with ds.

Tried missing out the dream feed at 10pm last night, but ended up feeding at 11.30 anyway and again at 4.30, instead of 2.30 and 5.30, not sure it's helped nuch as i still feel like crap this morning.

Original poster

Moomin · 01/02/2006 12:03

didn't mean to be snipey cod - just so knackered. i said on other thread i tried to open my front door with the remote control car key yesterday. as I'm a bit mental at the moment i took the 'ffs' at the end of your post to be aimed at me. sozboz

hey guess what? almost blind with tiredness i went to bed at 9.45 last night after putting dd2 down at 7.30. The she woke at 11.45 and 3.45 Hurrah! NOT

well i spose i got a bit more sleep, but only cos i went to be just after cbeebies had shut down for the night!

'dreamfeed' can go to hell. will just try to tough it out. can't decide whther more sleep and two wake ups is worse than less sleep and one wake-up. og well. will keep you posted. thanskf or input so far

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RedZuleika · 01/02/2006 14:34

This is no help to you whatsoever (sorry!) but I gave in last night. After having spent some time (days, weeks...) trying to persuade DD to sleep in the nice bedside cot we bought her, I took her back into our bed at 4 ish this morning when she started waving her arms around frantically. Quiet as a mouse until nearly 8...

I slept reasonably well, am not grumpy today and unlikely to be shouting at everyone, including the poor dog.

Hope you get some decent rest soon. Didn't I read somewhere about how no phase lasts that long - neither the good ones nor the bad ones...

podkin · 01/02/2006 14:47

The 'dreamfeed' worked...ahem...like a dream for my dd util a couple of weeks ago (16 weeks) then it all went tits up. I have dropped it and am just winging it now. I think mine is teething and she has excema (god I have forgotten how to spell) so is very itchy. It'll pass...sigh...

They'll all get over it.
Agree 'dreamfeed' is a crap term. I just did it w/o realising a name had been coined, to maximise my own sleep...

lazycow · 01/02/2006 15:29

I think the idea of a dream feed is that the baby feeds without really waking up (ie feeds as he/she dreams). Gina Ford does not recommend a dreamfeed, she suggests waking the baby up. By the way neither worked for ds. I tried the waking up first and when that didn't help I switched to dream feeds for many weeks. I just ended up staying up later than I would have and ds woke at the same time if I fed him or not. In fact he started waking at 1am after an 11pm dream feed so it started getting ridiculous.

I found once we dropped this his sleep very slowly improved - maybe co-incidence - but mine certainly improved as I could go to bed earlier.

cod · 01/02/2006 16:13

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Moomin · 02/02/2006 10:27

latest update: last night she fed at 7pm but stayed up with us until 9 then fed a bit more then put her down in her cot. she woke up for a feed at 11ish but only took 2oz. i was asleep by then so dh fed her. she woke up at 4.45 starving hungry. so... slightly better.

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