Seriously when does breastfeeding get easier??

[Gina1981]

So here we go again!! DD is now 16 weeks and I thought by now It would be easier!! DD still isn't latching on very well, making all sorts of noises! Still spitting up and loads of wind, which I can only put down to a bad latch! Feeding frequently throughout the day and only feeds for 5 mins or so! And it's quite uncomfortable to feed her! Doesn't nap for very long during the day! The moment I put her in her cot she wakes up! Very hard to settle at night and could take up to 2 hrs to settle! I just don't get anything done as I'm constantly trying to settle DD or trying figure out what she wants! I feel like such a bad mother as half the time I don't know what she wants!! Little concerned with my supply as when I wake up my breast are very engorged but soft throughout the day!

Would really appreciate some advice or suggestions!!

Sounds like some RL help would be a good idea, are there any drop in groups near you?

Is she gaining weight well? Having lots of (5-6) really wet nappy's a day?
How full your breast feel isn't an indicator of supply so don't worry about that one.

Have you read the Kellymom website. Some baby's are easier then other to settal and if there isn't a feeding issue then she could just be a high needs baby have a read of DrSears he's really good on this topic.

Have you considered doing things to make your life a little easier ie, wearing her in a sling. Don't worry about the house work honist some baby's really are a full time job.

If it's any consolation, I don't know what my baby wants most of the time either. I went to a mum and baby group and someone there said her midwife said that when a baby is upset it's usually one of three things - hunger, dirty nappy or wind. Obviously sometimes it can be something else but generally I've started going through these 3 things - whether it is 1 of these 3 things or they just distract her from whatever it was I don't know.
My boobs are also engorged in the morning and soft throughout the day, I assume for me it's because DD feeds very frequently throughout the day (every 1-2hrs with no pattern) but sleeps anything between 8-11hrs at night so it's a long time for my boobs to go without being fed off.
Kellymom is a great website and worth looking at.

Gina, good to hear you are still hanging on in there :)

Here's some ideas:

• accept that your baby only ever wants to feed 5 mins or so in the day, and that this will mean frequent feeds - struggling against this which you have been doing for weeks and weeks does not work and makes life more stressful
• short naps ditto :)

Mostly, your baby will want you and to stay close to you. This is so often the answer to 'what does my baby want?'

You don't need to worry about your supply. Fuller breasts in the morning and softer breasts in the day is normal - this has been said many times, but you are still lacking in confidence about this :(

Gina I'd definitely take on board what tiktok's saying. There doesn't seem to be that much of a problem and much of what you're saying is what has happened to me and my 15 w/o DD.

She took makes all sorts of noises when feeding and only takes about 10 minutes but I think she's a fast feeder!

She will also rarely nap in her cot so instead she'll sleep in her bouncer or out in her pram.

As for settling at night, our DD now goes down at 8. We got there by taking it in stages as DH thought that expecting her to go down at the right time, in her cot, not falling asleep on the boob, self-settling was too much to ask in one go.

So first we re-set her body clock by getting her up at 8 everyday. Then at bedtime, we bathed her and took her to the dimmed bedroom for a lying down feed. At first she was falling asleep on the boob but now I take her off just as she's feeling sleepy. We also were letting her sleep in our bed until a feed at 11 when I would transfer her to her cot. Now I feed her at 8 and put her straight in. Also DD seems to like some kind of noise so we downloaded an album of ocean sounds and play this when settling her.

This hasn't happened overnight but over the course of several weeks and sometimes it doesn't always pan out right. However, when it doesn't work, we just put it down as one of those things!

Thank you everyone for all your responses!

No one really prepares you for the reality of breastfeeding! It's been a bit of a shock really! It's been really tough but I know worth every minute!! Had DD weighed this morning and is putting on weight! I guess juggling the other 2dc as well as everything else will take a bit of getting use to!!

Gina it may be worth checking if you have Thrush. My DS startes making clicking sounds and then it got uncomfortable feeding and then he became fussy on the breast. I may be on the wrong track.

However I wouldn't worry about the 5 min feeding and feeding often. Seems perfectly natural (if a bit of a shock). Sounds like my DS who is 19 weeks now.

Sounds like you are doing really though x

BFing got easier for me when I stopped giving myself such a hard time about it. We had a really rocky start - DD in NICU so didn't get a chance to have a go until day 4, cracked, bleeding, blood-blistered nips, a total boob-monster who fed for 40-50 mins every two hours all the live-long day and a neurotic mother who charted the whole sorry affair and tried to find a pattern. I honestly drove myself slightly mad battling against her natural feeding pattern. My HV pointed out that I was miserable and needed help with my latch from a BF consultant and to give into it so that I could get on with enjoying my baby. Once I did that things got better.

So, repeat after me: "my baby is gaining weight and is healthy. My milk is totally responsible for this. I'm doing a good job. Me and my boobs are pretty incredible."

And well done - you're right, no one tells you how hard BFing is, but they also don't tell you how rewarding it is - when it's tough, look at your baby and think about how she's grown. You did that.