How to prepare a bottle-refusing baby for my return to work?

[FanOfSlippers]

I'm returning to work four days a week in May (8.30-5.30, with Wednesdays off), when my son will be eight months old. He loves to feed and is taking to purées with enthusiasm, but has never taken milk from a bottle. We've tried several teats, temperatures, expressed milk and a couple of different formulas. My husband and I have persevered (first attempt with expressed milk at three weeks) but our baby gets enormously upset whenever we try the bottle and just cries & cries.

I'm getting concerned about what will happen in May. It's possible that I could give him a feed on my lunchbreak, but not definite (still trying to secure a nursery/childminder so unsure about location). What if I can't? And even if I can, he feeds four times during work hours at the moment (at least!). How much milk does an eight month old need, roughly?

The HV suggested I try a sippy cup to give him milk, so I've been doing this for about three weeks. He likes holding the cup and occasionally gives the spout a little chew, but there's absolutely no drinking happening (he gets angry if you try to angle the cup so milk comes out, he just likes to hold it).

I'm aware this can't be an unusual problem, so I'd be very grateful for any advice.

Could you try a doidy type cup? We have let DS use one since 6 months but don't leave him with it in case he throws it or knocks it, and he holds it to drink by himself and we just make sure that we are ready for when he's finished.

If you can feed at lunchtime, it'll really help ease the transition to settling in at the childcare setting.

FWIW, I had a bottle refuser and I returned to work FT at 7mo. She was BLW and though she took to solids enthusiastically, it was never a great amount of food. The nursery offered the same food for everyone, from babies to preschoolers. Finger foods at 7mo means she can't realistically eat all the stuff offered, like spal bol. (She's also a spoon refuser btw).

Initially I fed her at 10 and 2.30 to help her settle in. But she took to a bottle within a week or two. She literally grabbed another babies bottle and chewed on the teat. After that I started sending her in with a bottle. She had bottles of ebm and premade formula for a month or so. Starting at 50-70ml a feed, slowly dropping to 10-20ml by the end of 8mo. I stopped sending bottles then. It's the same time she got her pincer grip and she started eating heaps of solids.

At 8mo old, I wouldn't be so worried about the milk. Send him to the CM/nursery with milk to drink from a sippy cup. Also ask them to give him all the snacks and meals so he has a choice to up his solids if he wants to. He's perfectly capabale to hold out until you pick him up after work at his age. As long as he's got food to eat and water/milk to drink.

Good luck.

For sippy cup I mean a free flow one like the Tommee Tippee first cup. If he can't use a teat, he won't be able to use one that requires a lot of suction.

Thanks both. Your experience is really encouraging, TerrorNova.

I'll try a doidy cup too, see how much more fun and messy we can make mealtimes :)

I'm working full time and ds is 8 mo. He currently only takes about 2 oz bm throughout the day- sometimes from bottle, others a first sips cup. He gets plenty yogurts, and milk in cereal, as well as solids. He is fine all day- I feed (bf) am, evening (when I come home- he's very enthusiastic about that one), and night time. He also now feeds once during the night -around 4- and I'm ok about this.

Hth, and good luck with returning!!

Am reassured by this thread; dd (20wks) due to start nursery in May 2.5d/wk, & stopped taking a bottle somewhere between 16-18wks. Have tried the Tommy Tippee & she will take milk from that, so now just need to stock the freezer with ebm!

My DD was a bottle refuser too, had never taken one, or a sippy cup, when I went back to work at 6 mo. Like you, I was very anxious and had no idea what was going to happen. At this point she was hardly having any solids either.

Our nanny tried again with a bottle of EBM the first day I was gone - she gave it to DD to hold and try out for herself, so (as I understand it) no forcing or pressure. And DD worked it out and all was fine!!

I have heard of many other babies who will go all day without milk, then feed for hours when their mums get home. This too seems to work fine for them, especially if they're also eating solid food.

So perhaps it is a case of suck it and see ...

Both of mine were bottle refusers, and with DD1 it led to me giving up my job, so I was determined for that not to happen with DD2!

She went to the childminder at about 6 months, and initially I fed her when I dropped her off (9.30) and picked her up (3.00). But fairly soon (certainly by 8 months) we had progressed to bf morning, evening and dreamfeed, plus a dairy-rich diet (milk in purees, fromage frais etc) and a cup of formula for her to chew on and throw around mid-afternoon! It was okay - she didn't starve!

Just wondered if you know that going back to work doesn't need tl be the end of BF, and you may well not need to express.

I always thought you needed to express at work but when I went back to work I realised I could feed DS in the morning and when I got home, without needing to express, and that worked fine for us.

my dd refused a bottle at nursery, she was fine, she soon started taking water from a cup but never milk. she did ok, no problems settling in or anything.

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling a lot more positive. We have a brilliant time together (he has such happy dimply chubby cheeks), I was getting concerned my last few full weeks with him were going to be full of stress and worry about feeding. So...plenty of milk in his meals, plenty of lovely dairy, and lots of throwing milk/water around in his sippy cup. Winner!