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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Fidgety 3mo - worried he's not feeding enough

12 replies

somewherewest · 05/03/2012 15:12

Sorry this turned out to be rather long!

My 12 week old DS is incredibly fidgety when feeding at the moment. He'll come on and off a few times before settling to feed and seems to be taking less per feed than he used to (very hard to judge when BFing I know!). When he doesn't want to feed he REALLY doesn't (screaming until you stop trying to feed and let him get back to whatever he wants to do, at which point he instantly settles. His feeding is much more settled when he's sleepy or if his last feed was some time ago. He's also unsettled when we're out, to the point where he will hardly settle to feed at all and gets upset. I would be more relaxed about this if it wasn't for his weight gain. He has dropped from the 75th to the 25th percentile (was 8lb 8 at birth, was just short of 12lb at his last weigh in two weeks ago) - he is gaining weight steadily but at a slower rate than the charts. He's quite long and getting longer all the time - he's just quite lean. We haven't worried too much about this to date as he has seemed healthy in every other waY. He's very alert and lively, has recently started stretching his feeds out from two to three hours during the day and sleeps well at night. He can drain a breast dry in five minutes when he wants to so I don't think latching is an issue. I'm possibly pushing him too much to feed more frequently, partly because of anxiety over his weight and partly because he was every-two-hours-like-clockwork for the first nine or ten weeks of his life. I also have fast let down and very small breasts, so I tend to feed him stomach-to-stomach with him on his side, or even leaning back with him lying across me.

Any advice would be great. I had a hard time getting BFing established so amen't terribly confident.

OP posts:
tiktok · 05/03/2012 15:16

This all sounds well within normal, somewherewest, honestly!

Original poster
somewherewest · 05/03/2012 15:18

Thanks. I possibly just need someone to tell me that! The weight gain issue has been sapping my confidence (HV advising GP visits and formula top ups if it doesn't improve blah blah)

OP posts:
nickelhasababy · 05/03/2012 15:43

bloody hell, it's exactly what i was thinking.
dd fidgets a lot, too.
she has eaten non-stop for the past 3 days, and got weighed today as 11lb4. (she was 8lb at birth)
dd is also very long - she's 62cm now.
she's definitely growing (every day it seems!) and is alert and poos and wees loads.

maybe that's just how they're supposed to be :)

theboobmeister · 05/03/2012 15:58

I think you have all the answers already!

You say he seems healthy, alert and lively and is gaining weight (and he hasn't crossed 2 percentile lines, which is the usual criteria for referral to a doctor) ...
You know his latch is fine and that he's a fast feeder ...
You think you're pushing him to feed a bit too much and this can unsettle him ...

I reckon you have a much better sense for what is going on than the HV does.

Iggly · 05/03/2012 19:02

Sounds like DD (13 weeks) and I've been worrying as DS did this - it was the beginning of a nursing strike where he stopped completely as in he'd turn his head away and wouldn't even try even after hours (4-5!). He had silent reflux and didn't like my letdown so stopped.

I read into it at the time with ds and was so desperate and found a few experiences like yours where the baby was changing it's pattern of eating and getting more efficient but easily distracted too.

As long as your baby does still feed and doesn't seem upset when he cues for a feed and you offer, then I'm sure it's all fine! I thought I'd add my experience with ds too just in case.

hostelgirl74 · 05/03/2012 20:41

read my post i have just put on about reflux - your experience sounds a bit like my son.

Matou · 06/03/2012 00:08

Hi somewherewest, your story reminds me of DS1 who fed every two hours for a long time. So on the way back from visiting DH's grandma, we stopped at a petrol station for his feed at the usual time, although he wasn't fidgeting, and he bit me for the 1st time! It's etched in my memory. He was 3.5 months old. So my advice is if he does not want to feed, don't try and force him! Grin
Babies often change their feeding pattern at this age. He might give you the impression that he takes less, but it could be because he is more efficient.
And as you have noticed, babies can get very distracted by then too, which may explain why you have difficulties when you are out and about. It is a case of 'pff, the boob, been there, done that; oooh, what is happening over there?' The beginning of emancipation, in short! Smile More time for MN or a Brew for you!
And also you can't recline in your favourite position, so you will be less relaxed yourself. I have the same problem with DS2, never feeds better than at home.
I sympathise with your concern about weight gain, I have the same about DS1 at the moment but he is 3 years old! But it doesn't sound like your baby suffers from hunger, does it? You're feeding on demand, and that's the best you can do. Perhaps you could work on getting him to drink the hindmilk, the richer milk at the end of the feed.
I think the input of a BF support peer or a specialist BF health professional (my local one is called infant feeding coordinator) would be better than your HV's (no offence to your HV). Advising formula complements at this stage seems really hasty to me, there are a lot of better things to try out first that won't compromise your milk supply.

nickelhasababy this sounds like a growth spurt to me!

Original poster
somewherewest · 06/03/2012 13:16

Thanks everyone for posting. I'm now making more of an effort not to pressure him to feed, with the result that he started feeding fairly calmly about every three hours (admittedly this is only based on 48 hours of trying!). I've also begun to wonder if he's getting over-tired during the day, so am encouraging him to take two or three proper daytime naps rather than frequent cat napping. Based on today (not much to go on I know) this is working well. Will report back....

OP posts:
nickelhasababy · 06/03/2012 13:18

sounds promising :)

Original poster
somewherewest · 09/03/2012 08:49

Reporting back in case my experience is of use to anyone. For the last few days I've tried implementing a gentle routine based on EASY (a roughly three hour cycle of eat-awake-sleep). His feeding is much, much more settled - after three hours he's properly hungry, and having just woken from sleep he's not over-tired and less prone to distraction. Obviously if he's hungry before three-ish hours I feed him (and if he seems to want to go longer I don't), but that isn't happening much.

OP posts:
Original poster
somewherewest · 09/03/2012 08:51

Just wanted to add that we weighed him yesterday after a three week interval and he has settled nicely on the 25th percentile (sigh of relief)

OP posts:
nickelhasababy · 09/03/2012 11:14

:)
good. :)

see you're doing everything right!
(hopefully i am too!)

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