Really emotional about leaving my 3m DD for a day

[UntamedShrew]

I am scheduled to have a small operation this week. It's all booked, insurance sorted, grandparents here all week to help with my 3 DC... But. I just can't stop crying when I think about leaving my littlest one and I'm really worried about her feeds. :(

It's just an outpatients procedure and my consultant said its fine to BF just avoid the 4 hour period afterwards. But realistically given I need an hour beforehand to prepare at hospital, I'll be away from her all day from mid morning til bedtime, so missing 2 feeds at least (which I'd express & dump).

My mum has given her a bottle before, of EBM for her 11pm dream feed. But DD can be fussy about this bottle. Last night she took half then started getting really worked up and only stopped crying when I came in and fed her for half an hour (so she obviously was hungry but just didn't want the bottle). I keep seeing an image of that poor little sad face last night and thinking I can't bear for her to be like that for a whole day :(

What should I do?
DH says postpone the op as its upsetting me too much.
DM says have the op as it'll get worse otherwise and if DD's hungry she'll take the bottle.

I kinda want to say to both of ^ them Stop trying to fix me just listen to me and let me have a little weep about it all!!! But I'm just too exhausted and I've had my moan to you lot now instead. SORRY for venting!

Why do you need to suspend bf for four hours, shrew? Very few meds or procedures need that level of gap.

Don't apologise for venting! This sounds very tough for you. I understand if you don't want to put details of the operation on a public forum so I think it would really help you to chat to a BFC over the phone or in person about this. Here are some phone numbers that might help out-

La Leche League- 0845 120 2918
NCT- 0300 330 0771 (7 days a week, 8am-10pm)
The Breastfeeding Network- 0300 100 0210 (9.30am-9.30pm every day)
Association of Breastfeeding Mothers: 08444 122949 (9.30am-10.30pm)

Someone will be able to go through everything with you and help you to find a solution that you are happy with. It can be tricky when you get different family members telling you what you should do, even though they are just trying to help.

I hope you manage to figure out something that works for you :)

I'm having laser ablation on phlebitis in my leg. It's very sore but not at all chronic, I mean not affecting my quality of life massively. I can put up with it, in other words!

Consultant advised 4 hours but i'm not sure of his reasons. I feel such a fool for not asking more questions but DD was screeching throughout my last appointment

Thank you very much for the helplines, I'll try them but guess it might be tricky without knowing exactly what anaesthetic (local) & other meds are involved? I'll let you know what they say anyway.

I made the mistake of googling and found some US site where you email questions to drs, there was a similar question and they all advised against it while BF - but maybe that was just due to US hyper litigation. Argh, round in circles again.

Thanks for replies and well, for reading my ranting. It helps.

Breastfeeding Network have a drugs line which takes emails or calls, and would prob have info on hospital ops, too.

You can telephone your consultant and ask - ask what are the risks if you do bf before 4 hours, and then you can make an informed choice.

You can balance any risk against the risks of your distress and hers at not bf for that length of time.

Oh OP I could have written your post last October when my dd was 11 weeks at I had a little operation (day surgery).

I couldn't stop crying and getting worked up that I was leaving her (in good hands of course) but not my hands . We'd postponed operation for 2 weeks because of a pre-booked holiday and because she wouldn't take a bottle and took one at 5pm the day before the op! Dp was going to spoon feed or cup feed her whilst I was gone (as well as arranging to feed her on hospital carpark prior to going in to hospital! )

Can't offer any words of wisdom other than dd will be in perfect hands and will be waiting for you when you come home. I had a mild general anesthetic around 9am (in hospital from 7am) and bf'ed when I got home about 2.30pm. I made anesthetist aware i was bf'ing and he offered to not give pain killers until I 'come round' so I could decide if I needed them or not (ended up having coodamol rather than pethidine...I think )

Dd's face was priceless when I walked in and like I say, she was only 11 weeks but knew mummy was home. We had lots of cuddles and all was fine- no lasting damage on her anyway.

So, in my rambling post I suppose I'm trying to say what you are feeling is perfectly normal!

Hope your operation goes well

Thank you all so much.

Lovely post, Godisadj. Very nice to know others have been there, in more ways than one.

Tiktok the BF Network were very helpful and advised no risk in their opinion, so no reason to have such a long period without feeding. They gave me the example of women going to the dentist being such a common occurrence and emailed a paper on this plus GAs while feeding.

I will still ask my consultant again too and on the day, press the anaesthetist for more info.

Oh good grief. So last night I had the stuff from BF network that said no need to delay.

This morning... An email back from the consultant saying 'you can express and then resume the following day'. Not an option so I called his secretary.

She emailed again just now saying you can resume immediately!!!

So the same consultant has said 4 hours, 24 hours, no delay at all.

I just don't know if I'm coming or going and

How crazy......

When the dust settles, write a nice, polite letter to the doc, saying how confused you have been, how contradictory his info has been, how you had to ask the flippin' internet for info, and how you then got information from a volunteer organisation/charity.....and how much anguish and stress all this has put you through.

They need to know and you'll be doing other mothers a favour :)

Good idea - I will do that.