When should I stop breastfeeding?

[pipoca]

I have a 9.5 mo DD who is breastfed. I enjoy breastfeeding and am in no particular hurry to stop. I currently work from home, so no probs about feeding whenever she wants. She has a bf first thing, then maybe mid morning, maybe not, after lunch and before bed. The last couple of nights she's not been feeding at night at all either (thanks and praise be to God!! )

I don't have to go back until September but when I do, my hours will almost certainly involve 2 nights of 3pm to 11pm. DD goes down at around 8pm so I won't be able to bf her before bed on the nights I work. I may have to go back to 4 nights a week 3pm to 11pm, but without question, at least 2 nights a week.

She's never really liked formula and I can't express a great deal, never have been able to. She's not great with a cup either, takes little sips, nothing more.

I don't know whether to wait and very gradually try to get her onto cow's milk in a cup from a year old? I read organiccarrotcake say on another thread that 9 months is a good time to wean, should I try and wean her now?

We're going on holiday to Holland for a week when's she's a year and I'd thought it would be a good idea to keep bfing til then at least as it'll be convenient/comforting and then she can try cow's milk after that instead of faffing with formula, but am I missing a crucial weaning window by waiting?

Also, could I gradually get her onto cow's milk at bedtime from a year old and still do, say, a morning and afternoon bf, or is that not really feasible? I'm in no hurry to wean particularly except for this bedtime thing come September.
I have been offered a couple of weeks work 3pm to 10pm in May (when she'll be almost a year) but I think I'll have to turn it down cos I don't see how to do bedtimes without bf. Although, that's no biggie, I can turn it down if it'd otherwise make my life hell.

What do you think? All advice welcome.

I find that my DD wants boob if I am there at bedtime, but is happy to go without if I'm not. I don't think you need to wean unless you want to, babies are generally quite adaptable and September is quite a long way off to be worrying. She will be a lot less dependent on milk by then anyway

Well, yes..she'll be 16 months by the time I go back to work.

I guess my questions (hidden in that rather mammoth post ) are:

how soon should I start trying to get her onto something other than boob at night?

and is it possible to bf a 16 mo only morning and lunchtime for example?

does no bedtime bf 4 nights a week spell the ed of bf?

I would say to carry On for as long as you and your child want to. I am still feeding my 16 mo twins and don't think it will be any time soon for us

I think what organiccarrotcake meant (though she is more than welcome to correct me!) is that if you want to stop, 9 mo is probably a bit easier than 12 mo because the babies are often just that little bit more certain of their wants at 12 mo and might give you a harder time about it! I really doubt she was recommending 9 mo as a good time to stop if you're happy to keep feeding.

I went back to work when my twins were 12 mo. I fees them when I'm with them and they're offered cows milk in a sippy cup when I'm not. They manage fine with the different systems on different days because the days are different with different carers anyway. I can't withhold breastfeeding and offer a cup at bedtime - they go ballistic! Yet DH and my mum tuck them up with no fuss with no milk.

I would recommend just seeing how it goes. If your baby will be 12 mo plus when you go back to work, you could feed when you're with her and have others offer cows milk. Depending on your boobs, you may need to express while at work to avoid discomfort, but personally I adjusted quickly and don't need to pump.

Good luck whatever you decide

I bf my 16 mo just in the mornings every day. We very occasionally do a bedtime feed but hardly ever. I do bf a bit more if she's poorly.

I did try to introduce cows milk as a drink from age 1, but she refused it and still won't drink cows milk now. Part of me wonders whether I should have introduced it a little earlier, but I wanted to follow the guidelines of waiting until 1, and I guess that's was the right decision.

Around 6 months ago, I gradually started moving her bedtime feed away from bedtime. So we got to the point that she had her 'bedtime feed' before we went upstairs to do her bath and bedtime routine. That way, I knew she was still getting her milk, but didn't associate it with bedtime. She dropped that feed on her own at about 13 mo anyway.

Hello!

sandboy's interpretation of what I wrote is exactly right. For many babies it's a little easier to wean them off the breast at that younger age but this is not the same for all - there's no specific "weaning window", just a generalisation. And no, I was certainly not recommending a blanket weaning age of 9 months. .

"how soon should I start trying to get her onto something other than boob at night?" You've got absolutely loads of time to try different things. Maybe once a week, or once a fortnight, try something different at bedtime (pref with someone else putting her to bed). If she's distressed, just go back to normal. Trial and error is fine and you've got a lovely amount of time to work out options. Please don't worry about hitting a window.

"and is it possible to bf a 16 mo only morning and lunchtime for example?" Yes. Or, if you want to, add in more feeds when you're with her. Usually your milk supply will be solid enough to manage this and give you plenty of flexibility.

"does no bedtime bf 4 nights a week spell the ed of bf?" nononononono, unless you want to stop. If you don't, then just feed when you're with her :)

That's very helpful, thank you. I'm quite happy to continue and will start experimenting with cow's milk from a year. She already has water in a lidded cup and can drink from it but tends to have just sips.
Hopefully if I am still bfing the boobs would adjust as expressing at work would be totally impossible.

I can't really offer any better advice than you've already had, apart from to say DD was 16mo when we stopped her bedtime feed.

I'd already moved it to when I got home from work, as at bedtime it was just creating more fuss - feet in my mouth, fingers up my nose, trying to get her knee over my shoulders, you get the picture

She took it very well in her stride, and still has a great big feed in our bed first thing in the morning. By then she could drink very well from a cup - you'll be amazed how much they develop that skill in a few months.

Your supply will adjust just fine. I visited my old bf support group this week, and the leader/counsellor was explaining to all the 'newbies' about how once you've made it as far as that, you don't get 'full to bursting' like you did in the early months (none of them could quite imagine a time where you could go out without breastpads) and if you missed a day or two of feeding by that stage, your body will just pick it up again when you do the next feed.

DD is 21mo now, and sometimes spends the night at my parents. She doesn't feed on those mornings, and is quite happy to wait until the next day. I imagine that the morning feeds are not very milky anyway nowadays, it's more of the connection and comfort that she gets now.

You'll be fine

The last 2 nights she's not fed btw 830pm and 830am and I got v full but didn't leak much and I think that'll settle in a day or two. The thing that just got me worried is that I'll be out all afternoon and evening. Will have to leave at 3pm ad not back til 11pm. But, like you all say..it's a long way off and I'm sure she'll be fine with a cup of milk from her dad at that stage and may even stop bfing at night altogether. Can't really believe we've got this far, as I only managed 2 months with DS!

Pipoca, I have always fed to sleep at night and as I never had to not be there I never tried to do anything else. Then I got an invitation for a night out that started earlier than bedtime. My daughter was about 10/11 months at the time. We did a trial run where my husband gave her a bottle and put her to bed instead. She did not even blink, and this is a baby who has had a bottle only a handful of times. She drank it up, fell asleep, and was absolutely fine.

Sometimes, babies surprise you! Give the alternative night time routine a try and you might get lucky.

pipoca I think you should BF for as long as you want to!

Milk supply tends to be really flexible after 6 months, even more so after a year, so BF will fit easily around odd work routines.

And whilst of course most babies might prefer to BF throughout the day, I'm certain your DD will still be very happy to BF whenever you are available!

I combined work and BF from 6 months - 3 years, including overnight travel and working odd hours. I didn't express at all after 11 months. It all worked fine - in fact BFing made the separation a lot easier for both of us.