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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Feel weird about bfeeding, HELP!

32 replies

Dontaskwho · 29/01/2006 12:00

ds is 8 moths and have weaned him to just 1 feed per day from me, thing is now during the night he will sometimes wake looking for a comfort suck.
I try not to but sometimes give in.
Feels wrong, I saw that advert for programme on channel four and heard people talking about getting sexual kicks out of bfeeding,I certainly dont get that but is it wrong to let a baby of 8 months comfort suck?
does that make me bad to do it or not to do it??
Is he really a baby at 8 months?
Even if he's not does this make a difference?

OP posts:
colditz · 29/01/2006 12:02

Of course he is a baby at 8 months old, what else would he be?

Neither option makes you bad. Do whichever you feel best about.

fuzzywuzzy · 29/01/2006 12:04

ummm I bf dd2 and she's 17months.
Not terribly sure what it is you are asking but imo, 8 months is a baby, and if you want to, continue bf at night.

Original poster
dontaskwho · 29/01/2006 12:06

he's really more like a toddler. Am not saying that thats wrong,
God I feel awful for feeling like this, when he cries at night I want to comfort him, but things people have said have made me feel like it might be wrong to do it!
Guess I know its ok, but I'm wondering if anyone else ever felt like this or am I just a freak?

OP posts:
hewlettsdaughter · 29/01/2006 12:14

Sorry you're feeling like this - but please be assured it's not wrong at all to comfort an 8 month old by bf.

That programme is about bf'ing older children eg 8 year olds.

codnotmud · 29/01/2006 12:15

god the cofort thing was a plus about bf imo

when i bottle ffed i missed it as a useful tool to keep em quiet

winnie · 29/01/2006 12:16

dontaskwho, I bf dd until 2 1/2 and although she was having only a nighttime feed by then everyone seemed to have an opinion. Do what is best for you (and what you feel comfortable with)and your baby and try not to worry about other peoples opinions.

FrannyandZooey · 29/01/2006 12:22

Oh dear, I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am sure that nobody in their right mind honestly thinks that people breastfeed for sexual kicks - now that is twisted. I'm not sure if maybe you're worried because you have felt pleasurable feelings while feeding - if so don't worry, that is perfectly normal. Sometimes it can hurt, sometimes be boring, sometimes feel good. Our nipples are very sensitive and breastfeeding can be an enjoyable sensation - there's nothing wrong with that. If you do enjoy breastfeeding and it feels nice - then that is an added bonus.

Comfort feeding is definitely A Good Thing and one of the most useful tools you have as a mother. Keep going for as long as you both want to; I hope you wont let some stupid and bizarre comments spoil this for you.

mower · 29/01/2006 12:30

I wish that programme wasn't going to be shown. To me it shows bf in a negative light, Uk has low rates of bf, would be nice to have a programme on bf which is positive. Seeing the programme advertised has made me question how long I will feed my baby for, he is 4 months.

moondog · 29/01/2006 12:35

Oh dontaskwho,how horrid that you feel like this.

An 8 month old baby is a tiny little thing who needs Mummy.
Please don't let the nutters of this world (and there are plenty-with an opinion on everything!) put you off.
You are doing the best thing possible for your bay and enjoy it while you can. It will be gone in a blink.

poppiesinaline · 29/01/2006 12:47

Oh goodness no, enjoy your little baby and let him comfort feed if you want to. There is nothing perverse in that at all.

nanneh · 29/01/2006 14:19

If anyone suggests you are BF-ing because you get sexual pleasure from it, tell them they are in serious need of phyiciatric attention.

The last paedophile I read about was a hairy chested man, 50 years old, a pervert living in Vietnam raping underage girls, not a woman with size 38 DD cups breastfeeding her child.

ps - BF is NOT just about milk, it is also about warmth, comfort and dare I say LOVE. That is what I feel when I BF my son.

morningpaper · 29/01/2006 14:51

hear hear

Hattie05 · 29/01/2006 14:54

Dontaskwho, i did this until dd was two! People who might think its 'weird' don't really need to know.

Its perfectly normal and no reason to feel weird.

You are simply feeding and comforting your child in the most natural way possible!

Filyjonk · 29/01/2006 14:59

Right, are you saying it actually feels wrong, or that you think other people feel its wrong? If the former, why? If the latter, f 'em. Seriously.

Other people and their narrow minded rxns are not your responsibility. Your baby is your responsibility.

A hard part of being a mother is learning that other people with inevitably disaprove of your choices and opinions. So what can you do? Sacrifice your baby's best interests to make their day a little more comfortable?

As far as I know, pretty much no-one who has ever bf thinks people do it for the turn on. FFS! Its people who have never done it. Once you are a mother, you can guarentee that everything you do, loads of people think you are a fool/cruel/neglectful/too soft etc etc.

And FWIW there is nothing wrong with comfort sucking. Thats what babies do. Thats why dummies were invented. Thats why they suck their thumbs.

mszebra · 29/01/2006 14:59

A sexual pervert will turn any contact with a child into a sexual encounter; just holding hands with a child is a sexual act if you're that insane. It's the mind that makes it sexual, not the body part.

Anyway, The way I figure it virtually every part of our bodies is multi-purpose, my baby sees my breasts one way, DH sees them another. Entirely compatible & normal.

kittyfish · 29/01/2006 15:03

Nanneh and everyone else is right. my duaghter is 9 mo and I am still bfing before each nap am & pm then before bed at night and during the night once or twice. I love bfing my baby and she loves bfing. It is so natural, a perfect way to get close, have a cuddle and just think how much I love her. Please don't stop because uneducated, narrowminded, f**kwits think you should.

nanneh · 29/01/2006 16:16

Dontaskwho - are you new to MN ? I have looked at the archived messages and can't find your name anywhere except on this thread ? Have you changed your name to ask this question ?

Sorry, talking about conspiracy theories on another thread...made me think maybe...????

lockets · 29/01/2006 16:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
dontaskwho · 29/01/2006 16:54

thanks everyone, I work with some pretty narrow minded people who tbh were the ones who caused me to ween my feeds, they though expressing b milk for an 8 month old and leaving early to feed him for bedtime was a bit weird.
Then, there was that advert, and I suppose I became aware that I was being used as a comforter, and presumed it was wrong. The combination of these two have just stopped me from feeling good about bfeeding for fear of being branded a weirdo by the people who are going to watch that programme and I work with.
Nanneh, I am new to mn but really would rather remain unkown

OP posts:
4blue1pink · 29/01/2006 16:59

Your poor bab - he is a BABY at 8 months old and whatever other issues you may have you must realise this and let him be one - he is NOT a toddler!

FairyMum · 29/01/2006 17:08

The last thing I would do is to discuss bf at work. I work with the biggest tossers (bless them) in the City and I can only imagine their reactions if they knew I still bf my 17 month-old. I am normally happy to bf in public, but at work I sneak off to the toilet to express milk in my break and hide the bottle away in the fridge well wrapped. I think if one of them mistakingly opened it and realised what it was it he would die on the spot. There are some very fragile people out there.

moondog · 29/01/2006 18:42

Daw..see it the other way around.
You are not being used as a comforter or dummy,rather a dummy is used as a (poor substitute) for a breast.

This always makes me sad.

puk · 29/01/2006 18:45

Dontaskwho you need to go with your natural instincts. Try not to talk to people who are negative about bf. If you feel it is right do it. I used to have my children sleep in my bed and people told me I'm making a mistake and that I will never get them out of my bed they are 27yrs,25yrs and 21yrs old and don't sleep in my bed.Fed them for two years each and feel fulfilled as a mother.I think bf is such a natural.Enjoy your BABY. They do grow up tooo quickly.

puk · 29/01/2006 18:53

Mower, I agree with you. The preview looks negative. I fed my three children for two and a half years each and NEVER did I have my boobs hanging out of my tops as I saw on the preview. I was discreet as I was aware of peoples attitude towards bf.I always wore slax and tops or skirts and tops. I must say my husband was very proud of my achievement,He supported me all the way.In fact I was bf my baby in front of my father-in-law and he wasn't even aware I was bf.The bond between a mother and baby is wonderful.

nanneh · 29/01/2006 21:17

puk - that's beautiful what you have written about your children.

There is absolutely nothing like the bond between a breastfed baby and mother