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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Exclusively expressing?

31 replies

Sparklesandglitter · 28/02/2012 20:19

Hi I'm currently pregnant with dc1 and am planning on exclusively expressing due to the fact I don't want to breast feed(I personally feel uncomfortable with the whole idea of breast feeding.dp is pushing for breast feeding but I really don't want to can anybody who had exclusively expressed give me any advice?in particular I wonder how/when I would give the first feed to baby?
Any advice is much appreciated! :) x

OP posts:
busyprocrastinating · 28/02/2012 20:37

Hi. I exclusively expressed for 10 months. My advice would be to get a good pump and at first you need to express lots to get a good supply up, every couple of hours or so through the day and night. When you get going you don't have to do it quite as often. And you will need storage for all the milk.
I didn't express out of choice, it is bloomin hard work, so I wouldn't know about the first feed. But when it became apparent I would need to the hospital sorted me a pump and things out so that DD could be fed.

Pearla · 28/02/2012 20:42

When my DS was tiny (days old) I exclusively expressed for a few days as my nipples were sore from a difficult start with breastfeeding. I found the most difficult thing was being away from my baby while I sat with a pump attached to me 10 times a day to keep my supply up - and then of course you have go factor in the time it takes to sterilise the bottle, warm the frozen breastmilk and then feed the baby. In particular, at night time, it was tough. I was lucky that my DH was on paternity leave at the time as I wouldn't have been able to sustain it on my own. I was glad to get back to breastfeeding.

You will need to bear in mind that your milk supply may taper off if you are not breastfeeding the baby directly. I was advised that using a breastpump as an exclusive alternative is unlikely to promote the levels of oxytocin you need for successful let down and yield long term.

Have you thought of visiting a local breastfeeding peer support group to talk through your feelings about breastfeeding? Alternatively, you could consider mix feeding (expressed breastmilk and formula) but again, it is a lot of work sustaining supply through pumping. If you are really determined to do this, perhaps your midwife or health visitor could advise you about supplements and medicines you can take to boost your supply - your GP may be able to prescribe something.

Sorry if this isn't the advice you were after, as I mentioned above I only fed this way very short term.

Sparklesandglitter · 28/02/2012 20:47

Any experience is great, there's hardly any information on the Internet!to be honest I would be happy formula feeding but as dp is adamant on breast feeding this is my compromise! Any experience good or bad is welcome, I'm going to speak to my midwife too when I can thanks again Smile

OP posts:
nellyjelly · 28/02/2012 20:49

Sounds like hard work for all the reasons mentioned above. I hated expressing when I had to do it so can't imagine doing it full time.

You might quite like BFing if you give it a go. You know lots of people will post on this now urging you to give it a chance. Your choice I guess.

Sparklesandglitter · 28/02/2012 20:56

I know and I get that it's personal choice I just hate that there is so much pressure to BF, even the midwives say "informing you about feeding choices" but then solely talk about BF'ing. If its a choice tell me all my options!lol I jus don't feel comfortable with the idea of BF'ing I certainly would not feel comfortable doing it in public or even in front of friends/family. I know it's best for baby but if I'm not happy it's going to make it harder I believe so if I can compromise, even if it's only for the first few months, i feel that's the best thing for both me and baby!but at the end of the day I want to be fully informed of all the choices not just the one the Nhs want me to choose!!

OP posts:
nellyjelly · 28/02/2012 21:00

Well my advice for what it is worth is try not to be too set on anything. Until baby is here, it is hard to know how you might feel.

There is quite alot of stuff on internet about expressing. Buying a hospital grade pump is probably a good idea, you can do both breasts at once!

nellyjelly · 28/02/2012 21:02

BTW I think your first feed would have to be formula. I can't imagine how you would have time to express the colostrum and then give it to the baby. YOu need to feed baby quite soon after the birth obviously. Not sure though so someone else may have the answer.

ANTagony · 28/02/2012 21:02

I expressed with ds1 and breast fed ds2 and dd. Ds1 cup fed. He couldn't suckle. I used to express whilst someone fed him. Initially it took me abou 40 mins to express but by a month old it was more like ten minutes.

It is nice for others to be able to feed baby as well as you. It's nice for the dad/ baby bond.

Will you have support to look after baby whilst you express?

ANTagony · 28/02/2012 21:04

The hospital will help you express colostrum. You usually manually do it and use a syringe to suck it up and feed it to baby.

EyeoftheStorm · 28/02/2012 21:04

Sparkles I exclusively expressed for DS2 (he was premature) for the two months in NICU and then about two weeks at home until he got the hang of breastfeeding.

There was a lot of stress involved due to him not feeding properly but I had breastfed my older DC and wanted the same for him. I was willing to express for as long as I thought necessary.

  1. start hand expressing (nurse showed me how) from his birth - tiny amounts of colostrum first until your milk comes through (mine took a few days)
  1. get an electric pump (i rented a medela). Much quicker.
  1. express every couple of hours at first to get your milk in and mimic newborn feeding patterns, then once your happy with the volume you're producing, go to 3 hours then as they grow to 4

Most importantly, in my experience, you are choosing the hardest path. Getting up before your baby wakes in the night to make sure you've expressed enough to give them when they DO wake up is not for the faint-hearted. I look back and wonder why I didn't just give him formula or at least mix-feed, but I did go a little mad during that time.

Feel free to ask any questions about any the practicalities of it all.

nellyjelly · 28/02/2012 21:07

Eyeofthestorm - you have it right there! Bad enough waking up all the time never mind having to express as well! At least with BF I just clamped them on! Well done for what you did! Sounds bloody hard.

EyeoftheStorm · 28/02/2012 21:10

Thank you and it was.

OP maybe you can do a deal with your DH - you express at night and he does the feeds and settling!

thefatladyscreams · 28/02/2012 21:13

I exclusively expressed for the first 9 months (couldn't get DS to latch properly), introduced a bit of formula at 9 months but basically continued to pump until 13 months.

It is perfectly possible (more common in the States I understand). But it's hard work and I do feel it would be so much easier to breastfeed directly.

I just used a normal pump and got on fine - one caveat - I had an oversupply of milk so this might have made it easier.

thisisyesterday · 28/02/2012 21:14

i agree that you shouldn't get too set on one idea or one course of action.

i think it's great that you're even considering exclusively expressing as it can be a huge amouint of work, as you can see fromt he comments here!

i have a friend who was adamant that she was not going to breastfeed, but when her daughter was born and was rooting around she just had this urge to let her feed and they never looked back! to say I was surprised was an understatement lol.
so it might be worth finding out as much as you can about breastfeeding and expressing and then just seeing how things go when baby arrives... a lot of people I think get a quite overwhelming urge to feed their baby, it's kind of an instinctive thing.

also remember that it isn't all or nothing. you don't have to exclusively breastfeed or express or formula feed. you can mix it up. you could breastfeed for the first few weeks and then express. or you could do a combination (although breastfeeding on demand gives you the best chance of ensuring a good milk supply) of breastfeeding and expressing or breastfeeding and formula.

in terms of first feeds I honestly think you will find it much easier to feed direct from the breast as the amounts of colostrum produced are tiny and you waste a lot expressing it. to give you an idea, when i was in hospital with DS1 the midwife was impressed that I managed 5ml!!

Sparklesandglitter · 28/02/2012 21:21

Part of my idea is to share night feeds too as he is generally awake a lot later than me so once I can get a store of milk he can help more. Why would I not be able to watch baby and express at the same time? I would be happy to mix formula and expressed milk but I need to work on dp for that (although really he has not too much say in it!!) thanks again everyone, I am only planning on expressing for 4-6 months but I am keeping an open mind I just like to know all the options!Smile

OP posts:
Grumpla · 28/02/2012 21:29

I expressed for three months after my DS shredded my boobs due to a tongue tie that was repeatedly undiagnosed Angry

I did it because it seemed to be the only way I could get breast milk into him without being in constant agony myself.

However I wouldn't recommend it unless you really have no other option and you feel very strongly that you want you DC to have breast milk. I had to pump every 3-4 hours for between 20 minutes and an hour and a half depending on the time of day. I had to run my entire life around being able to pump. It was pretty shit really. Lots of pumping whilst my DS sat in a bouncy chair instead of all the lovely extra cuddles that you get from breastfeeding. Lots less sleep - you have to feed, then pump - often I was out of bed for two hours at a time. It's not something you can do discreetly in a cafe!

I think to exclusively express you have to be very, very committed. It's not really a compromise between breastfeeding and formula feeding, it's so much harder than either.

Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear but if you're planning to attempt it I think you should go into it with your eyes open!

SecondTimeLucky · 28/02/2012 21:33

I haven't done this, but a friend did for 6 weeks. After that point, she was totally wiped out and moved to formula feeding. As others have said, she found it hard to express enough to get a good supply, but it was more the sheer practicalities of it. Say the baby is feeding every two hours - it could be half an hour to feed, half an hour expressing, and the remaining hour had to cover sterilising, along with all the other baby care.

It is a very work intensive option, so I wouldn't say it was a compromise as such. It's more like an alternative for people who are 100% committed to breast milk but can't feed directly for some reason.

In terms of sharing night feeds, at least at the start you will be expressing every couple of hours, so he might be doing the bottle, but you'd be up too. It's not really about having a store of milk as such, it's about the physiology of breastfeeding needing frequent feeds in the early weeks (and in some cases months) to keep production up and the hormones necessary for breastfeeding being produced best at night. Added to the fact that your supply is not stimulated as much by a pump, long night gaps between pumping can be particularly detrimental to supply.

On the not being able to watch the baby and express at the same time - mostly because dual expressing requires both hands (unless you have one of those funky vests. Never tried them myself), and 'watching' a baby is rarely a hands free task! Nothing to stop you if he/she is napping or whatever though.

Good luck, as you say, it's good to research all your options. If you are looking for ideas about compromises, have you thought about breastfeeding for a short initial period - a month say- and giving yourself permission to give up at that point. If you like it, great you can carry on. If not, you've stuck to your side of the bargain. Or feeding colostrum (great initial boost for the immune system) and then moving to formula after the first few days?

SecondTimeLucky · 28/02/2012 21:35

Sorry Grumpla - cross posted with you and said exactly the same thing about compromises.

busyprocrastinating · 28/02/2012 21:37

I was only planning on expressing for just a couple of months too but it became such a part of my routine that I carried on for 10.
My supply was fine with just the pump and I took nothing to help. I did find the mw and hv to be no help whatsoever- to be honest I don't think they'd come across anyone who had chosen to express and couldn't understand why I didn't just give formula. Most of my advice I got from the net and on here.
I always had a big store of milk so never had the worry of if there was enough. I expressed as I fed DD so was still snuggled up for feeds- with hte added benefit for DH to be able to do it sometimes too.
It can be done and as it was my 1st DC it was just normal to me iyswim so can't compare it to normal bf- though I can see the benefit of missing out the middle man! It is hard to make set plans before DC is born as when they are here everything changes Smile

metalelephant · 28/02/2012 21:41

My first wouldn't (or couldnt) latch so I expressed exclusively for four months. Hated it, but I really wanted my baby to get breast milk do I persevered.

The pros:
-Breastmilk is the best food for little babies.

-Dads can also feed so you may work put of the house more easily.

The cons:

-I felt like a cow! I had a double pump that was efficient but it was a miserable experience, relatively noisy and quite ugly. My breasts were attached to a sucking machine. Nothing like a baby.

-It takes time to pump, and then it takes more time to bottle feed your baby and then to wash the bottles/pump parts and then to sterilise everything. And repeat six times per day minimum.

-The bloody washing and sterilising took ages, and often I would have to leave my baby crying as I was far too busy pumping and washing. Red raw hands and a sad baby was not fun. Much better to hold a baby than a pump.

With dd we did manage to breastfeed after a rocky start and it's so much lovely to be able to hold her rather than a machine. It's faster as I don't have to wash and sterilise and feed, all I do is bring her close and she does the rest!

You shouldn't just do it because your husband wants you to, the last thing you want is to feel resentful towards nurturing your little one. Personally, I find breastfeeding a joy, now that she's 4 months old its quick, easy and is at the same time food, cuddle and rest.

Try a breastfeeding cafe while pregnant, that may answer some of your questions and perhaps seeing other mums do it in a secure environment will make you feel less worried about doing it.

Good luck with whatever you decide!

SootySweepandSue · 28/02/2012 21:41

As others have said it is likely to be very difficult to do long term. Breastfeeding if at all possible is far far easier so I would try all you can with that first.

I expressed for about 9 weeks out of which I was virtually topless and strapped to a machine for most of it. I gave up when my DD starting sleeping through but I was having to wake myself up at 4am to pump!!! I ended up with mastitis as I slept in a few nights. You need to express 8-10 times a day to get enough milk going. It is really not for the fainthearted. A hospital grade breast pump isn't cheap either I think £40pcm for a rental. You will need a hospital grade one for sure.

Pearla · 28/02/2012 22:29

OP, can you comment on why you think you might feel uncomfortable breastfeeding? Is there anything you would like to ask the posters here about breastfeeding? I'm not judging or telling you that you should breastfeed, just wondering if there's anything we can do to help ease your fears a bit.

You say above that you won't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of friends or family. As a poster above mentioned, when expressing you tend to spend a lot of time sat there topless, often for quite a long time each session. Are you planning on having visitors to come and see the baby in the early days? Would you sit in a separate room to express while your mum/aunties/friends spend time with your baby in another room? I am worried this could be quite isolating for you. :( I can hand on heart guarantee that breastfeeding is A LOT more discreet than expressing. You can keep your clothes on for a start. Wink And there are many slings, shawls and even hats for baby to wear to preserve your dignity.

Anyway, not trying to sell breastfeeding to you, but if you can get to the root of why it makes you feel so uncomfortable, perhaps you can consider breastfeeding if only for a short time, purely to make your own life more enjoyable and easy at what should be such a magical time for you and your DH. I do agree with posters above that to do not have to go along with exclusively expressing for your DH's sake - yes, it is the best thing you can give your baby in those early weeks but it is your body, and producing milk in itself, nevermind the rest of the work, is exhausting for a new mother.

Hope you don't mind me saying the above! And good luck with whatever you decide. There is always support on here. :)

Pearla · 28/02/2012 22:31
  • you do not have to go along with exclusively expressing for your DH's sake
Grumpla · 29/02/2012 10:48

I've been thinking about this some more and Pearla is absolutely right, OP, breastfeeding or expressing is something you need to make the decision on - it's your body that will be doing the work of making the milk! And you that will be correspondingly much more tired etc.

As a bare minimum I would expect that your DP would need to do the following to support you (based on what my DP did when he was at home, it was much harder when he was away)

All night feeds - he gets up, feeds the baby, winds and changes. You get up and pump. He'll still probably get back to bed first!

As much washing up as possible! E.g. By the time he leaves for work you have all your bottles clean and sterilized. Hopefully you'll then only have to wash up pump bits etc as you go along. By the time he gets home you'll have gone through four or five bottles in the early days so he'll the wash and sterilize those. Similarly he'll do the last wash and sterilize before bed.

It sounds really trivial but honestly my hands were RAW whenever my DP was away, washing up ten or fifteen times a day sucks.

Prep for day - as you will have a big chunk of baby sleep time taken up by pumping, you need other tasks to be as quick as possible, especially if you want to get out of the house! If you're going somewhere all together, you want to time t so you're pumping right up until you leave - that should give you a good three hours before you start leaking! But it means he will have to be in charge of stuff like getting baby fed, changed, into pram, changing bag packed etc.

Time off for you - this is very important. Pumping eats into the time that you would otherwise have to relax / rest so he needs to be prepared to work harder in the evening to make sure you get a bit of time to yourself - a bath, a walk to the shops, a snooze. You need to be as well rested as you can be (difficult at the best of times!) to be relaxed, producing milk etc.

I suppose what I'm saying is that a) it should be your choice and b) if he really wants the baby to get breast milk he needs to be prepared for the fact that exclusively expressing is very much a team effort and the work he will have to do will be a lot more than with formula / breastfeeding directly.

I can't really understand why you wouldn't want to breastfeed directly as that was what I wanted so so much for my DS and me, but that doesn't mean I don't respect your decision about what you want to do with your body - and your DH should do the same!

Agree that maybe talking to a breastfeeding counsellor or going to a breastfeeding cafe before your baby is born might be a good idea.

Good luck whatever you decide.

Methe · 29/02/2012 11:01

It's not up to your DH what you do Shock

I have done a lot of expressing as both of my DC were prem and it is a lot of hard work, especially when they are small and you have to be scrupulous about sterilising. It's as if you have the all the worst bits of feeding ( night waking - not only will you have to get up to feed, you will have to pump too and then sterilise the equipment for next time, sterilising, buying equipment, being stuck on the sofa for twice as long..) and none of the good but of either ( lovely hormones if you BF, ease, comfort if you feel more comfortable ffing)

To build up your milk supply you might need to express 8 to 10 times a day, every day and over night too. It gets easier when they get older but it is a real bloody slog, honestly.

I am usually really pro BF but if you genuinely don't want to do it then tell your DH to bog off and do what YOU want to do. They are your breasts!

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