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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Breastfeeding/Weaning/Sleeping

14 replies

Mombojombo · 27/02/2012 18:41

Could post in all 3, but like the advice here best!

DS is 24 weeks and I started BLW a week ago (slap my wrists, it's early, but I took him popping off the boob, sitting up and attempting to take a bite out of the apple I was eating to be a mystical sign...)

He's always been a very frequent feeder, very rarely goes more than 2 hours in the day without a BF, and at the moment rarely more than 3 hours at night, 6pm-6am, which is bringing me to my knees. We've been cosleeping a lot though he's happy in his cot, but will only feed to sleep, won't settle with DH, or a cup of water etc. I don't mind 1 or 2, or even 3 feeds overnight, but 5 or 6 is just getting ridiculous and my health is suffering (I have chronic migraines that are getting worse Because of interrupted sleep).

I'm not going to feed formula - he's a BF baby all the way, I've never even offered a bottle, so don't know if he'd take it. Essentially I'm lazy! Can't be faffed with bottles, expressing etc. he does seem to take a belly full of milk every time too (deep rhythmical swallows with squelchy wet noises!) I've read No Cry Sleep Solution and a bunch of other things. when it comes down to it, I cave. When it's a choice between a 5-10 minute feed and everyone's back to sleep, or 45 minutes of twatting about in the dark shh-patting, rocking and whatnot, a quick BF wins every time!

I guess my question is (and I fear I know the answer), will getting him on solids help at ALL? I know it'll likely get worse before it gets better as he gets his milk calories at night, but will it level off ever? Will I get to that eldorado of a morning, lunchtime, nap time and bedtime feeds and 1-2 overnight? The beautiful little fatty is taking to food very well and on 3 good meals (messes) a day already, so I live in hope. I smother everything he eats in cream cheese - futile? Will I ever sleep more than 3 hours?

OP posts:

benne81 · 27/02/2012 19:18

Sorry your probably not going to like it but you need to stop feeding him in the night, he won't choose to stop as it will be lovely and warm cuddling up to you all night and feeding, but it is making you unwell. Be strong and let him cry & space out the feeds - it will be tiring but worth it.

I am prepared to be shot down for this suggestion by cosleeping mumsnet snipers !

thisisyesterday · 27/02/2012 19:26

solids didn't really make a difference with any of mine. sorry.

i think every 3 hours is pretty good going for a 24 week old though!
i know it's hard while you're in the middle of it, but one day you'll look back and think what a short time it really was- in the grand scheme of things.

we used the no-cry sleep solution with some success when ds2 was about 9-10 months old (he was still feeding every 45-90 minutes at that point!) but i'm not sure it would have worked when he was smaller.

Personally I found it became more manageable when I changed my perspective and realised that the baby isn't the one that needs to change and that it would be easier if i tried to get more sleep in other ways. so i started going to bed at 8pm and dp would bring him to me if he needed a feed. and dp would get up with the kids in the morning so i could get an extra half hour of sleep.

all i can say is it DOES get better, it might just take a few months longer

thisisyesterday · 27/02/2012 19:26

and i disagree with the previous poster. your child WILL eventually sleep through without any help from anyone at all.

I don't know ANY adults who still wake for a breastfeed at night. do you?

Original poster

Mombojombo · 27/02/2012 19:31

Thanks both. To clarify he rarely goes more than 3 hours (meaning he very frequently goes much less). And I go to bed at 8-9pm, but with chronic migraine, it's not the sum total of sleep, but the consistency (or lack thereof) of sleep patterns that matters.

OP posts:

tiktok · 27/02/2012 19:37

Letting a six month baby to cry rather than offer comfort is something many mothers feel uncomfortable about - and I don't know of any developmental or child psychologists that would think it anything other than a bad idea.

Co-sleeping makes night feeding a lot easier and prob by now,mombo, you'll have seen how quickly he manages practically to help himself - that will only get better as he gets more adept :)

He will go through the night eventually, but this is a maturing process rather than an extra calories in the day process :)

Iggly · 27/02/2012 19:38

Cosleeping snipers

I found that DS's sleep did improve around 6 months about a week after starting solids but I don't think it was the solids (because it got worse a few times after 6 months but 6 months was the beat improvement iyswim). He just started going longer at night after flipping onto his tummy. I didn't bother flipping him back.

In some ways, solids caused trouble as gave him wind etc but once we cracked it, we saw a link between sleep and solids, but not until 11 months once he was established on protein etc.

MamaMaiasaura · 27/02/2012 19:42

Op - I bfed 3 dc. Youngest is 4 months do not sleeping through. I disagree with pp who advised to stop nursing at night. I am similar to you (lazy parenting ) and it does get better and they do sleep for longer. Ds2 has slept from 7 ish to 7 ish for a long time. Only time disrupted is growth spurt or illness.

MamaMaiasaura · 27/02/2012 19:44

Oh and yup cosleeping makes it so much easier (lazy parenting again ). Ds2 helped himself and eventually didn't.

CountBapula · 27/02/2012 19:47

Roffle at 'twatting about'

I've been there. It does get better. Like Iggly's DS, mine started going longer when he started sleeping on his tummy at around 8/9 months. Solids made bugger all difference. He eats like a horse now and still doesn't sleep through consistently

I personally think six months is too young to nightwean. I tried it around that age on the advice of a sleep consultant (I had PND and was going nuts from the broken sleep). It didn't really work and I was never comfortable with it but then I am still feeding him at night sometimes at 17 months.

Definitely get sleep wherever you can. I so sympathise, though. It's utter torture. I'm sure things'll get better on their own eventually.

EauRouge · 27/02/2012 19:48

Agree with Tiktok and Thisisyesterday, they do all sleep through on their own eventually, some sooner than others. It is totally normal for a 24 week old baby to wake up several times during the night. You do not need to 'teach' him or use any sleep training methods if you don't want to :)

Co-sleeping does make things easier for a lot of mothers and as you say a 5-10 minute feed is infinitely quicker than 'twatting around for 45 mins' (love that )

You sound like you are well in tune with his needs. So I will just say 'this too shall pass'.

Hopefully this might be encouraging.

benne81 · 28/02/2012 19:00

Ha ha my mum is a child psychologist and recommends CC! Do whatever suits you best but certainly don't write CC off, it worked wonderfully for me and my DS (& everyone I know who has done it). I understand different courses for different horses though - personally I don't want to share my bed with my baby everynight but obviously I understand that people find the thought of CC hard.

crochetcircle · 28/02/2012 19:17

Hi mombojombo

I found that introducing solids did help establish a nap routine in the day, which really helped me stay sane despite poor sleep at night. Eating meals at similar times each day did seem to lead to naps at the same time each day. Just knowing when I was going to get a break helped!

Of course, that might have happened anyway. I'm very much in the 'babies do things when they are ready not when we tell them' camp.

We recently night weaned her at 8 months, having tried and failed at about 6.5 months. But she was clearly ready for it this time as she really didn't mind. She was only feeding once in the night anyway and whilst she still wakes in the night now, it's to chatter and try out rolling and crawling. There's nothing wrong with trying new things out - babies are pretty good at telling you if they don't like something. Go with your instincts, and that can include a bit of laziness.

Hope you feel better soon

tiktok · 28/02/2012 19:23

CC or controlled crying is not the same as letting a baby cry, though, benne81.

I wonder if your mother thinks even CC is good for babies of 6 mths? I bet not...

I am not fond of CC either and think it is easy to find evidence against it, but it is bound to be less damaging than letting a baby cry uncomforted.

vj32 · 28/02/2012 19:54

My ds was doing this until 8 and a half months or so. I then went cold turkey and refused to feed him at night. He then started waking night after night at 2.30am and being awake for ages so we went back to one feed at night, which was working, some nights he started sleeping through. Then he got ill, so back to lots of night waking the last few days. (Nooooooooo!)

Anyway, I think 6 months is too early to do CC, it honestly does get better. Weaning actually made my ds sleep worse, and if you are doing BLW it could be months before he is eating much anyway. I think you just have to wait it out until he is confident with eating, and then attempt night weaning or controlled crying. Have you been to GP about your migraines? Anything they can do?

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