Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Another breastfed baby not gaining - Tiktok, Mears, help!

56 replies

FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2006 21:40

Help please, not my baby but a friend's. Baby is nearly 5 months, not gained weight at last 2 weigh-ins and hv now says my friend must supplement with formula. Friend now thinks her milk is not good enough quality and that she must give a bottle to avoid baby becoming ill. She has a toddler, and said she doubted it would be possible when I suggested she tried feeding more often. The baby has been sleeping through for several weeks from about 7 to 7, so I wonder if this could affect my friend's supply, plus how can she fit in enough feeds during the day to make up for no feeds at night? I didn't remember to find out how many feeds exactly the baby is having but I know it is less than every 2 hours. I know the baby doesn't poo much, say once every two days - had a problem with constipation (?) they think. They have started baby rice to try to help with weight gain as well.

I feel very upset and helpless about all this - I am sure she is being given the wrong advice here, but it is so sensitive a subject and I feel I keep putting my foot in it. What should she be doing and how can I advise her without making her feel defensive or upset?

Any help very gratefully received...

OP posts:
VeniVidiVulvaQV · 27/01/2006 22:01

gosh im tired. that post kinda comes across a bit narky

hunkermunker · 27/01/2006 22:02

FAZ, it sounds like she's fine. Bloody hard being the friend in this situation though - been there myself.

(Did you eat all the quinoa?)

VeniVidiVulvaQV · 27/01/2006 22:02

Fastasleep - just realised i hadnt changed that back

Original poster
FrannyandZooey · 27/01/2006 22:03

Sorry I am feeling a bit too emotional about this right now, but will try to come back with more information tomorrow and read the thread again. Thanks all for help,
franny
x

OP posts:
motherinferior · 27/01/2006 22:03

Personally, I wouldn't think no gain over three weeks or so was a problem, at that age.

The Inferiorettes were, and remain, funny buggers.

Elf1981 · 27/01/2006 22:04

Personally I dont think that sleeping through the night equals a baby who is not putting on weight. My DD is now nearly four months old, she has been sleeping through for a long time now. We put her to bed after a feed around 7:30 - 8:30 and she'll sleep for nearly 12 hours.
We were told at one weigh in that she hadn't gained as much weight as she "should have" and had dropped down a line, and they said if she hadn't gained weight for the next visit they'd suggest putting her on formula. BUT this was when she wasn't sleeping through the night and was often feeding at 12:00 at night, then 4:00 and then 6:00, so I dont think its true about sleeping through the night = slow weight gain.

My DD was 8lbs 13.5 when born, she's now 13lbs 9oz at 16 weeks old.

However, I would tell you friend to try not to worry too much. I was told that being stressed can affect breastmilk supply but I am not sure if this is true.

Aloha · 27/01/2006 22:09

The baby isn't losing weight then? Or getting thinner? just not gaining fast enough for the HV at a time in his life when he is getting really active/mobile and interested in life? God, this weighing business is just awful isn't it? Do you know, dd is 11 months and I have not the faintest idea what she weighs as she has been weighed ONCE since she was discharged from the post-natal HV, so I'd guess she hasn't been weighed more than about three times in her whole life. And she's a fit as a flea and twice as lively. I did see her get thinner when she was ill, but hey, so do I! But not weighing really takes the pressure off IME. And so does not seeing any bloody HVs!

mears · 27/01/2006 22:09

I doubt there is any problem at all if the weights were only 2 weeks apart. Babies at 5 months are often pretty active and burn up calories. I am not convinced there is any need to do any extra feeds or express TBH. 'If it aint broke don't fix it'. If mum gets anxious over non existant problem, and tries to force baby to take more that she wants, then there will be problems.

I would definitely print the thread off and let her see it. Reassure her that she is doing fine.

Elf1981 · 27/01/2006 22:12

I am avoiding the HV's and only go to baby clinic when its injection time. I have DD weighed then, but only to have the answer to the "how much does she weigh now" questions I get from all the relatives!
I think that they can be very worried about babies not following their line / not putting on weight as fast as they should. I was devastated when they said I "may have to switch to formula". I was upset as I'd worked so hard in the beginning to get breastfeeding established and felt like a failure. I'm glad I grew a backbone by the next time I went to see the HV (not that I needed it as DD had obvioulsy guzzled despite having bronchilitis over that four week gap!)

Elf1981 · 27/01/2006 22:14

Oh and as for poos, my DD went through a stage of going up to seven days without one. Just when I'd accepted that as "normal" for her, she switched to doing four a day every five days. I'm sure she does it just to say "ah ha mum, you thought you knew what I was going to do but you dont really!"

hercules · 27/01/2006 22:14

I must have had dd weighed about once since leaving hospital. She was also five months and I was told first of all her weight was fine and then when the hv realised she'd had no solids, she insisted she must be on them. I said that a moment ago she'd been fine!

DD is slight for her age but has bags of energy.

nanneh · 27/01/2006 22:21

Franny - I am no expert either but my very chubby DS at 5 months was demand fed every 2 - 3 hours round the bloody clock !!

The one thing that concerns me about your story is baby sleeping through for 12 hours at this age. Your friend's supply may be fairly low in the mornings. Night feeds increase supply like magic. Hard work, but very effective in my experience.

My DS didn't sleep through until 10 months, i.e. ages after solids started at 6 months. A 5 month old BF baby should be quite chubby if things are going well. Baby rice will do sod all for his weight and interfere with BF. Breastmilk has tonnes more calories than rice.

I mentioned on the other thread that I had a friend who had a skiny 5 month old. She switched to formula at 5.5 months on the advice of her HV because HV said she was "starving" baby and my friend became hysterical.

If your friend is determined to continue BF, I really recommend she sees someone knowlegable and sensible like a BF adviser + a paed.

bossykate · 27/01/2006 22:21

one of the best pieces of advice i got after plenty of weigh-in heartbreak with ds was simply not to bother with weighing. dd has been weighed 3 times in her life, all in the first 6 wks, nothing since. i'm not an expert but i'd say if the baby is sleeping well, is alert and active when awake, has plenty of wet nappies and is generally happy all should be fine. if she is actually worried about her baby's health she can always see her gp.

bossykate · 27/01/2006 22:23

agree a bf counsellor would be the best source of advice - better than a HV anyway. the nct can put your friend in touch with one in her area.

and b/f babies can sleep through very early on!

nanneh · 27/01/2006 22:33

bossy - I wasn't suggesting the friend should wake baby up in the middle of the night ! I was just suggesting a reason why he may not be gaining weight. Sounds to me like he need to feed more often, day or night.

Lucky people who have BF babies who sleep through from day one. Mine didn't, probably because he was such a milk monster at that age !

Meanoldmummy · 27/01/2006 23:30

My ds2 was diagnosed "failure to thrive" at 4 months while I was exclusively breastfeeding. I was breastfeeding like a monster and he was getting thinner and thinner, projectile vomiting and looking very ill and miserable. To cut a long story short, because I want to help, not hijack - I ended up being interrogated by a doctor, summoned to a paediatrician, accused of starving the baby and VERY nearly lost him. I was literally bullied and blackmailed into giving up breastfeeding. Formula milk didn't make things any better (!) and there followed a miserable period of trying Staydown, Wysoy, Lactose Free and various other formulas, as well as scaring us witless and having tests for cystic fibrosis, leukaemia etc. It turned out that he was suffering from RSV virus which he had contracted in the hospital at birth, and he had suffered temporary lactose intolerance as a result. Had I known - had I had mumsnet to consult!!! - I needn't have given up breastfeeding at all. I had been telling the HV for months that he had a cough, to no avail, because she was obsessed with the weight charts to the exclusion of everything else.

I thnk you should take as much advice as you can get from other women who have real hands-on knowledge of babies and feeding. And then consult your instincts. I wish I had.

Cabe · 27/01/2006 23:55

FAZ - my ds is little and didn't gain for a month period from 12 - 16 weeks... I jumped onto a thread that Tiktok was advising on. As my ds was sleeping through (another 7 - 7) she suggested I wake him for a feed just as I went to bed and in the daytime to feed every 2 hours to boost my milk production... he's now gaining (7oz in wk 1 and another 3oz in week 2) He's happy and lively but just wasn't gaining until I started waking him up and feeding every 2hours throughout the day.
A sling you can feed from may be a good solution for your friend as she'd be more hands free for her other little one

Cabe · 27/01/2006 23:57

Nanneh - my ds slept through from wk 5 - as Tiktok informed me... they're not really supposed to and it hinders milk production. I'm happy to wake him now as it means he's getting the milk he needs

Aloha · 27/01/2006 23:59

But this baby is nearly five months! Totally different to five weeks. And has only not gained enough weight for two weeks - just at an age when babies become more active. I think this is not a problem.

Cabe · 28/01/2006 00:07

Aloha - Ds was 4 months when i realised he wasn't gaining... He's doing fine now

Meanoldmummy · 28/01/2006 00:08

If this happened to me again, I would tell the HV/GP to stick their opinions where the monkey sticks his nuts. I would have continued breastfeeding and taken my baby to A&E to get checked out for more serious conditions. The baby you mention, Franny, doesn't even sound as though it needs a check up. I would say your friend should follow her instincts. And she has friends like you, so she'll be fine.

r3dh3d · 28/01/2006 00:09

Even going off the centile charts, HVs are taught to flag a serious problem:

  • if the child drops across 2 centile lines
  • if the child drops to/below .4 centile and tracks it
  • if the child makes a sudden/uncharacteristic weight drop

(The point of the third one, I think, being that illnesses can be difficult to diagnose in babies because they often don't show many symptoms: sudden weight loss can be an early sign of eg measles which can be dangerous in young babies. So not really a feeding issue.)

Do you know where your friend's baby is against those measures? I'm not clear from what you say whether HV has genuine cause for concern or if she's being overzealous. The thing that might worry me a bit is the constipation because I don't think that's normal for prolonged periods and might be a sign of dehydration and thus poor feeding. Or then again, it might just be a "thing" for that baby.

Meanoldmummy · 28/01/2006 00:15

Most mothers would notice if the child suffered a "sudden uncharacteristic drop" in weight, was failing to thrive or severely constipated. And if they did notice anything alarming, they would take the child to a doctor, not wait for the HV's next visit. I certainly 'noticed' ds2's unrelenting cough, which indicated he was suffering from a life-threatening respiratory disease contracted in a dirty hospital - my remarks to the HV AND my GP fell on deaf ears, because the weight charts eclipsed everything else. There is a monstrous arrogance endemic in the health service.

Cabe · 28/01/2006 00:42

Mom - yes you're right and Mums know their babies best - my sister would have lost both her babies before 5months if she'd been content to listen to her HV or GP

Highlander · 28/01/2006 09:24

I've only rad the first post, but doesn't weight tail off at 5-6 months, especially in BF babies???

DS dropped from the 75th to the 50th centile for weight between 5 and 6 months. His height stayed on the 75th. After asking about stature in both families, the HV said he was obviously tending toward tall and slim and not to worry about it. In fact, seeing that he was still growing, she said after 6 months that I didn't need to weigh him again until he was 12 months.

This was in Canada though - they are sooooooo much more sensible over there. My friend told me that babies are not measured at all here, just weighed. What nonsense.