weaning baby in the day - is there an idiot's guide please.

[YuleingFanjo]

This is probably a really stupid question. DS is 14 months and fed on demand but as I work full time he isn't breastfed at all during the week days just at weekends or days off. After 4 days of pretty intense illness (me) during which he wasn't at nursery and he fed from me almost constantly I am starting to wonder if I should start to wean him in the day. He still feeds a lot at night and I am happy to continue this as it is the only way I manage to get decent sleep.

How do I tackle weaning him from the breast in the day? Do I just start replacing feeds with either expressed milk or cows milk? (I express quite a lot when he's in Nursery but would like to stop having to do this) Do I basically refuse all feeds in the day at weekends as if he is in Nursery and how quickly will he cotton on that this is what is happening? Or is the fact that I feed him whenever he wants at night going to confuse him?.

here's what I do:

Mon, tues, thurs, friday (his days in Nursery): Wake up and breastfeed, snooze, get up, breakfast (he eats very little) then drop him off at nursery for 9.30. I leave on 5oz bottle of breastmilk which he is usually given at 10.30. His lunch is 11.30. They usually give him cows milk about 2pm then a snack 3.30. Pick him up at 5.30 and feed him (breast) then drive home. We then give him some food which he rarely eats - snacks or a bit of what we have - play, bath, bed by 8pm but could be later. he then wakes frequently between midnight and 7am.

Wed (he is with my mum): same morning routine, I send two 5oz bottles of milk which my mum gives him throughout the day, regular snacks and lunch (he eats fairly well there) then I pick him up at 6, feed (breast) home, play bed etc

Weekends: feed on demand ande also regular offers of snacks but often food on the go during the day then an attempt at a sit down meal in the evening.

I breastfeed him to sleep.

TIA

I assume in the day you are referring to 9.30 to 5.30. Can you follow the nursery feeding schedule, given he's in for 4 days already? Instead of ebm obviously you give cows milk, which he drinks anyway. I don't think it will be that difficult to day wean given he's off the boob for most of the week!

PS. My DD is 11mo and in nursery 5 days a week. I have started to run the same feeding routine as nursery. But with bf for snacks. I found because food is so regular, she doesn't demand anymore. The have meals/snacks at 8.30, 10.30, 12, 2, 3.45. So at most 2 hours between feeds.

But I want to add obviously I only have the experience of my own LO. Thinking about the night feeding, I think my DD isn't as attached to the boob as yours. She often cant be fed to sleep, and demand cuddles instead.

Haven't got really any as mine were both so different. With DC1 we told him we don't do that now and offered something else instead. He soon was down to morning and evening feeds. DC2 was totally different, she had free access until she was weaned off at 2.8.

Looking back though I really wish I hadn't day weaned DC1. He was never a good sleeper, and still wasn't long after bfing finished but I don't think the day weaning helped. DD slept much better and was sleeping through the night much earlier. That may not be related though and have only got a sample size of two.

Bfing is a good way to get them back to sleep and many toddlers are waking at that age. If sleep is getting to be an issue though it might be worth reading the No Cry Sleep Solution.

That seems like a lot of milk feeds for a 14 month old. Does he eat 3 meals a day too?
I would start by dropping the 10.30 feed if he is having lunch at 11.30. You will probably find he will start to eat more breakfast. and then move on from there.
If he is eating 3 good meals a day and 2 snacks he really doesnt need milk during the night and it is just a habit that he is waking up for it. It can be hard to break though! so dont do it all at once just decided what bothers you most first and make small changes that wont unsettle your DS.

I have 3 good meals and snacks through out the day and I still get hungry during the night! It's only if I 'sleep through' that I don't feel the hunger. If I got woken up, which is often now, I sometimes go downstairs to make myself some toasts.

Never understood why people keep saying if a LO have 3 good meals and 2 snacks, they definitely don't need food overnight. It's a long time time to have no food for 12 hours.

thanks :)

no he's not a great eater and I think he relies on me too much when he is with me (for milk I mean) so I really want to improve that.

I am less inclined to tackle the night feeds because we co-sleep and he settles better with teh breast. Just wondering if maybe I should stop the 10.30 expressed feed and ask them to give him that drink in teh afternoon instead? Or is it more 'normal' to night wean first? There's no way I am ever going to do controlled crying, though last night he did wake up and moan for a bit and then go back to sleep so I may stop just shoving my boob in his face at the slightest wimper

Sorry yuleing I did mean to sound judgemental. But I really disagree with what one little baby girl says, as would most health professionals if your child is eating 3 good meals and 2 snacks it does not need milk during the night and is being over fed through habit.
However yuleing if ds is not a good eater then he will need more milk, ( or is he having too much milk so not hungry for food) u can look at it both ways.
I have night weaned my ds a few months ago. No controlled crying involved. I just stopped shoving the boob in his mouth the second he woke I would leave him to see if he would go back off if not I would say ssshhh and after 3 nights he stopped waking for boob I also co sleeped but now he sleeps in his cot 7-6 most nights.
So then he was just having 2 bf a day morning and last thing at night. He then self weaned a few weeks later! After being given a bottle for the first time he refused boob after that. :(

I dayweaned my now 15 mo at 13 mo. It was surprisingly easy. I found the idea of it difficult in that I felt he needed the BF and that by not feeding him I would be hurting him emotionally - but it only took a few days to drop each feed. My experience was similar to that of gitinora with the night feeds, that it was (for us) a case of not giving him the breast the very first instant he wanted it and doing something different for a while instead.

He'd dropped down to 4 dayfeeds by that point - waking, nap, mid-afternoon and bedtime. We still do 2 feeds (waking and bedtime). We dropped the afternoon feed first, just by distracting him. It helps to have others around. The first time I refused the feed he was crying and I had to go into the next room, but once he couldn't see me anymore he was happy to eat yoghurt instead and I could go back in a little later. Day 2 was similar, but by day 3 (by which point I was on my own), he surprised me by not asking for the milk, and he'd been pretty obsessed by it before.

We dropped the nap feed second. I waited till he'd got completely used to not having the afternoon feed, then picked a time when I could be out in the car or pushchair for several days in a row at naptime, so he'd have another way to fall asleep. I did that for 6 days, then on the 7th day experimentally put him down for a nap at home with a beaker of milk instead of the breast. He protested a little but then lay down to sleep. Again, I think I'd persuaded myself that there was no way he could ever fall asleep without the berast, but that wasn't the case. I do still feed him very occasionally if he is ill/exceptionally upset at naptime.

We then dropped nightfeeds (he was waking 4 x or more), using gitinora's technique. There was a little crying but not much and he started eating breakfast.

Our main motivation for dropping the day feeds was to keep a consistent routine both when I'm at work and at home (and also my supply wasn't keeping up with his demands on the "home" days - I wasn't expressing).

Good luck.

What time does he have his first Bf Yule? Is it possible to swap them around so that you do breakfast and then a bf firsth thing? I would also stop the 5oz bottle at Nursery. He could always have a little snack if he needs it just before nursery but 9.30 till 11.30 isn't very long to wait without food.

When you pick him up could you not bf him and take him straight home for tea? How long is the journey? He could then have tea and a bf before bed.

At 12 months though they only need 300 mls about 11oz of cows milk a day so don't worry too much about giving him during the day if you are still bfing.

As for the nights, thought this might help .

hey there, thanks for the replies. gitinora don't apologise, he is not a good eater (though is getting better) and I do think I offer milk too often.

Jilted, it's really hard to say because he tends to wake me early in the morning and snack on me for ages while we both snooze. Really I should probably just get up but I am too lazy so will only get up when I have to for work. So we are usually up around 7.30 am but he will have been feeding on and off for the previous two hours. I do offer breakfast at about half eight but could make more effort to get up and ready to offer him something without feeding first so that's an idea.

As far as picking him up goes i got into a habit of feeding him straight after pick-up because when he first started at the nursery he was quite clingy and wanted cuddles rather than getting into his carseat so again I could try not giving him that feed. DH picked him up from nursery one day last week when I was ill and so he didn't get fed then and didn't seem to mind.

Thanks for the links and advice everyone :)