Can I still be proud?

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After a difficult start and traumatic time in nicu I have continued to bf ds1 who is 3 months and will continue to do so. Though I planned to ebf, he does have ff per day and the rest is bf. This is because we were struggling at the beginning to put on weight and I was new to bf.

My question is can I still be proud of the bfding? I know he doesn't have a virgin gut, but I am doing my best! I breastfeed all except one of his feeds per day but don't have that glow that ebf mums can boast about iyswim!

Of couse you can, you've made it through a difficult start and are giving your baby as much BM as possible.

If it's something you would like to try would you consider droping that one bottle and going completly to BM. It's possible you need to speck to someone about a plan on reducing the bottle and increassing your supply.

Yes, and its quite sad that you feel guilty. I think setting up six months of exclusive breastfeeding followed by another eighteen months plus of partial breastfeeding as The One Truth Path and implying that everyone who falls short of this is somehow inadequate just leaves a lot of ordinary breastfeeding mothers feeling crap about themselves even when they are doing their best. Shrouding the whole thing in perfectionism is not going to make more women breastfeed.

PS My gut was devirginised by evil formula at about two seconds old. I survived .

Somewhere west

My girl, I have given him ff less often over time, though he seems hungry sometimes when he goes without it. I also had a lot of pressure from dp saying 'has he had his bottle' like it was some golden nugget! Didn't realise dp would be like this. He has been helpful in all other regards, but doesn't understand bfding. I don't know if it's too late for my body to produce extra milk now if I cut the ff??

You can definitely still be proud. With breastfeeding you have to be a little flexible and you did what you had to do for the benefit of your child, as we all have to sometimes.

It is not too late for your body to produce extra milk - just feed him more and your body will make more to suit baby's demands. Keep going.

Thanks onelittlefish I read somewhere that after 3 months your body produces fixed amount of milk?

I don't think it's true because I can feel my breasts getting very full after a growth spurt.

Do you know any bf groups in your area? Or ring one of the bf hotlines like NCT or LLL? They can help you make a plan to increase bf. You can definitely increase supply because that's what ebf mums do all the time.

You can definitely still be proud. That is an amazing achievement.

If you have a look through the archives, Tiktok has commented on the whole 'virgin gut' thing quite a few times.

If you want to keep breastfeeding past 6 months, a friend found an easy way to drop formula top ups (a few in her case) was to drop bottles as her baby increased solids, not breastfeeds. So when he dropped a feed, it was a formula one...

Be bloody very proud you have done a great job.

I struggled even tho no NICU or any major problems.

you go girl

You should be very proud lights.

My DS was dehydrated and had to be topped up with formula in hospital but after that, I exclusively bf for 16mo.

Do I feel bad about that formula? Only because I wish I'd been able to express enough myself to keep him hydrated with my own milk, but after an incredibly traumatic birth, I couldn't. My baby was lucky I was alive after it.

So I picked myself up (as you did) and did the best thing I could for my child.

Re: increasingly supply. It is definitely possible after three months. Whenever my baby got ill as an older baby, he'd give up solids and only bf. I'd go from 4 bf a day back to 10, but my body quickly adjusted. So I'm sure if you dropped the bottle, your DS would get your supply up very quickly.

But whatever, it sounds like you are doing a great job with no need for guilt. Be happy that you get to have a bf relationship when it didn't look likely at first.

I think you've done brilliantly and you should be proud. Your body will produce milk according to demand so you could offer more breast feeds or you could try expressing after a breast feed. This milk can always be frozen and used to top up if necessary at a later date.

Good luck!

Abso-bloody-lutely, you should be very proud of yourself. None of it is easy, and you seem to have it all working well.

As other's have said you can increase your supply. Your milk is now completly on a supply and demand system, so he increases feeds as when a growth surt happens you'll make more milk. Quit simple system really. Milk supply is never a fixed thing, baby's take different amounts on different day and will take more when ill and not eating.

Do what you feel conftable with and if there is a drop in group near you if would be worth poping in for a chat.

You should be very proud. Not because you breastfed/breastfeed. But because you have loved and cared for your son through a very difficult start, and he's getting stronger every day. And because you were able to make a modification to your plans and intentions when your son needed something else. Well done. Don't let this make you more anxious for a second, please.

Definitely feel proud! Well done for continuing to 3 months.

Ditto others that you can drop bottle and this is possible; but that's if you want to. What do you want to do? And what does dh think? Sounds like dh needs some educating - direct him to kellymom, benefits of bf'ing for you and baby perhaps.

Here's to many more months

yes, you can feel very proud.

he seems hungry when he doesn't have the bottle because formula's a bit harder to digest than BM. So you might find you have to give him 2 feeds in place of one bottle, or feed a bit longer.

If you want to try it, then please do, but don't worry about prescribed timings, just feed him on demand. It'll even itself out.

and tell your DH to stop with his unhelpful comments.

You're a hero, you know. :)

What is virgin gut? Is that a real expression? You have done really, really well and don't let anyone tell you otherwise..

My DD is 4 mths old and she has had to have some formula because I have had to work and am rubbish at expressing. I don't think that it can be right that you have a fixed amount of milk. I ebf on days when I am at home with her and she gets some formula on days when I can't be with her and my body seems to be able to adjust OK.

You have done brilliantly and should be so proud. Not even for the bf (although definitely have real pride about your dedication to bf your baby) but for getting through a very difficult start and being a wonderful mum.

Any breast milk is great.

Tbh, when the dc are little it seems like it is the most important thing in the world, but really it's not.

When my dd1 was born, I got my knickers in a right twist ensuring that she was exclusively breast fed for 6 months, and then was breasted until she was about 18 months. With Dd2, she had a bottle a day from birth, and then she gave up breast feeding at about 7 months.

Now they're 8 and 5, and I look back at myself and laugh. At the time (with dd1) it seemed the most important thing in the world and the tears I had over it! (breast feeding did not come easy to me)... With dd2, I was so much more chilled (hence the formula) and has it made any difference to them? None. Both are happy, healthy, content little girls ... Milk breast milk or other really has made no difference to them. So don't worry - just do what you can, every little helps