Nightime feeding/sleep routine getting me down - any advice

[Hannahbump]

Hello all,

This is my first post so go easy on me! :)

I have a 20 week daughter who has been predominantly bf since birth, with expressed milk and occasional formula feeds making up the difference.

Our current routine is getting me down a bit at the moment. I bath her, dress her and then start to feed her either with expressed/formula bottle or breast. It is a bit difficult as she doesn't always take the feed straight away. She sometimes pulls of the breast and gets in a fluster. When she does get going she often falls asleep and can't be woken. I put her down and she wakes up soon after needing feeding again. This goes on a few times until she is full. Once she does go down she sleeps right through to the morning which is absolutely amazing of her. I know this isn't as bad as some experience but I'm only really able to compare my routine to those of my great friends from NCT that are now on easier formula routines and I want to get my evenings back a bit.

Does anyone have any tips/insight that might help me manage a bit better?

I am attending NCT bf support this week as well so hope to get some advice there as well.

Can I ask why you alternate between EBM/formula and bfing?

It might be a bit confusing for her if Mum is bottlefeeding her one night and bfing her the next as the way breasts/bottles deliver the milk is different (bfing goes in ebbs and flows with a slow start but then there is lots and bottles are instantaneous and the flow is the same through the feed).

It might also be better for your supply (no risk of engorgement/dropping of supply if you skip several feeds in a row) if you stuck to one or the other at night (which ever suits you best).

Cluster feeding in the evening is very normal too and is baby's way of tanking up for the night. It might also be you are putting her down to early in her sleep cycle - babies sleep cycles are around 60m long and are two phase, active (a bit like REM) and quiet (not the right name but I am about to school run it so haven't time to google!) If you wait around 20m she should move out of the active and into the quiet stage which is easier to put a baby down during.

HTH

People tend to lie about how well their baby sleeps. Mostly to avoid others giving unwanted advice. If anyone ask me, and unless I know the person very very well, I'll tell them my 10mo DD slept from 11 to 6 last night. Which is half the truth. She had her last feed at 11 and then didn't wake up till 6 after we managed to put her to sleep. The truth is, she woke up every cycle (around 40min), screaming, and needing to be cuddled until around 1 or 2. In the end, it's my DH who cuddled her to the last sleep because she was screaming so much in my arms. (She prefers daddy cuddles. I think my milk smell confuses her. She doesn't like falling asleep on boob and will bite me if she's overtired).

What time is your LO going to sleep? Every baby is different. I know in my NCT group, mine is the earliest at 6. Some are 9 or 10pm. Cluster feeding is very normal. And also, it could be because you are with her that she wanted feeding. I know that when I go out in the evening, and if DD wakes up between 6pm and 10-11pm, she will happily sit on DH lap and enjoy a cuddle. But if it's me, she'll want a feed.

Look on the bright side, your LO basically sleeps through the night. A lot of new mums will kill for that. And she's nearly 26 weeks, which means she'll start taking solids and less bf. You'll be able to leave her with someone you trust for much longer, knowing they can feed her with solids and water.

This too will pass.

It does sound like she is cluster feeding - that's very common in the evenings. It basically means they have lots of feeds back to back, so it feels like you are pinned to the sofa for hours!

It's a very normal part of lots of BF babies' evening routine, and is probably part of the reason why she is sleeping so well through the night - because she has tanked up first! So personally I would not try to change this at all - you might end up making the sleep situation worse!

Wow - unbelievably envious that she is sleeping through the night. I clicked on this thread looking for night and sleep advice as mine wakes every 2 hours!

I find a bath really tires out my LO. I now only bath her, say every other night, if she's perky enough. If she needs a bath, but is not on top form, I maybe give her half her bottle before the bath, then the other half after once she's dry and changed. Maybe that may work better?

At the moment, mine has a bottle at 6.30/7pm ish. Bed straight after. We dream feed at 11, then she wakes 6.30/7am ish.

Hello all and thanks for taking the time to reply.

TS - I started a formula feed at a time when I was feeling extremely run down and also to try and quicken up the bedtime process. It was taking about 3 hours to get her down then and I subsequently found my thyroid condition had returned and it was in overdrive, I had the highest results the doc had seen! I'm sticking with bf in the night before bed as I think you had valid point that I was confusing her. She was getting upset when I offered her formula and now she is much calmer. I have also put her bedtime back as it had been slowly creeping earlier.

OLBG & tbm - thanks for the tips!

uap - thanks for reminding me of the positives. good luck with your search!

LAACBNQ - one thing on our list to try is moving the bath to midday as we also suspected it was tiring her out. We were waiting to see if some of the other things worked first as we didn't want to change to many things all at once.

Anyway, last two nights have been a bit better since i stuck to boob and started slightly later in the evening. She didn't wake last night once i had put her down and she has only woken once tonight (fingers crossed) so far.

Hahaha. BItter laughter here.

Both mine ebf and fed to sleep for years, my 6 month old wakes every sleep cycle.