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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Wondering if I can manage to bf dc3

19 replies

Roscat · 19/02/2012 21:22

Hi,
I am currently pregnant with dc3 & have two boys aged 4 & 2. I did exclusively bf both boys til about 21 months and never thought I would ever consider bottle feeding.
However ds2 was a v clingy baby & poor sleeper and I am absolutely exhausted. I would say that I have almost felt traumatised at times by lack of sleep.
He's sleeping through the night at the moment but when I look ahead to the broken nights once dc3 arrives I start to feel like I can't cope.
Most people in my area seem to bottle feed and their babies seem to sleep through from about 3 months, whereas ds2 didn't do a full night before he was 1, and even now has periods of time when he wakes frequently. I'm starting to wonder if I'd get more sleep if I bottle fed dc3.
I'm considering mixed feeding and wondering how to do this most effectively (ie if I start off establishing bfeeding when to introduce a bottle) or if any experienced bfeeders have any tips to maximise sleep. I'm reluctant to cosleep as dh drinks & have always been useless at expressing.
Sorry for long post, really want to do the same for dc3 as I did the others but have to also consider my own health and ability to look after the other children properly!

OP posts:

conspire · 19/02/2012 21:35

Being clingy and a bad sleeper isn't necessarily a result of bf. My friends 14 yo (yes, thats 14 years, not months) still rarely gets through the night in her own bed and she has never had a drop of breastmilk. Most babies don't sleep through from 3 months, people have wildly different ideas about what sleeping through is. I slept through from birth according to my mothers definition of midnight to 6am .
Personally I was shit at mix feeding but many people manage sucessfully so maybe one of them will be along in a minute.
I think the best way to get sleep is to feed at least every 2-3 hours from 6-7am until 8-9pm, then GO TO BED. Don't sit on the sofa and watch tv, don't just go on mn for 5 mins, don't tidy the kitchen up. You might be lucky enough to get 2x4 hour stretches of sleep in the 10 hours between 9pm and 7am, you might even get a little bit more.

Booboostoo · 19/02/2012 21:37

You should do whatever works best for you, but for what it's worth I think some babies sleep well and some don't regardless of how they are fed.

Would it be possible for you to co-sleep in another bed from your DH? This is the only thing that has kept me going and for me bf during the night is a lot easier than the thought of having to get up to prepare bottles. At least with bf I can turn around, half-asleep, and push a nipple in the general direction of the baby - she does the rest!

You never know you may have one of these wonderful babies that just sleep through no matter what!

TruthSweet · 19/02/2012 21:51

It shouldn't matter if your DH drinks (unless he is in anyway aggressive when drunk) as you sleep in the middle with DH on one side and baby on the other next to a bedrail or their cot abutting the bed (so DH, you, baby, bedrail/cot).

Baby never sleeps in between to adults due to overheating risks, lack of oxygen (if both adults are facing baby they will be breathing out air with a high concentration of carbon dioxide and baby may not get as much oxygenated air as they need) and the risk of being trapped between two adults.

Exclusive bfing on average gives mothers more sleep (not much about 20-45mins extra a night) and a better quality of sleep (nearly 3 times more slow wave sleep which is the healing type of sleep than ffing mothers). That may make the difference for you or it might not when it comes to the crunch and you can always start bfing and then ff but it is incredibly difficult to ff then try to start bfing.

Good luck with DC3, 3 is a lovely number so heavens knows why I am expecting DC4!!

crikeybadger · 19/02/2012 22:02

Oooh number 4 TruthSweet? Congratulations!

Original poster

Roscat · 19/02/2012 22:12

Congratulations on dc4 Truthsweet. Am glad 3 is a good number (feeling a bit scared). That's a good point about not sleeping between the parents. No dh is not in the least violent, just maybe a little too sleepy to notice what he's doing sometimes. I'm considering getting one of those 3-sided cots you can make level with the bed that is sort of like co sleeping but gives the baby it's own space.
Conspire at your friends 14 year old. Though some people just seem to manage on less sleep. Thinking about what you said, I did a lot less evening cluster feeding with ds2.
Booboostoo I know, theres nothing better than being able to get out a boob. I don't fancy messing around with kettles in the middle of the night. I had wondered if dh could administer a late evening bottle...

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 19/02/2012 22:30

Just checking on the violent front some people can get a bit unnecessary when they have had a few too many!

I'll have 6, 4 (very nearly 5 and just starting school) and 2 (very nearly 3 and about to start playschool) when DC4 is born.

I found co-sleeping helped get me through the rough days as did not trying to get DD3 into bed at bedtime (IYSWIM) - I fed her and got her sisters ready for bed at the same time (just carted her about while feeding her upstairs and wrestling DD1 & DD2 into their PJs) then when the elder two were in bed I sat on the sofa and fed her until we went to bed. She dozed as well - sometimes on me, sometimes on DH and sometimes in her bouncy chair. No pressure to get her asleep at X time, no endless trips up and down the stairs settling her/feeding in a darkened room alone while DH watched TV without me, no cold dinner, no crying baby to get stressed about. I am sooo doing that with DC4 - it was just light years away from DD1 when we tried to do everything by the book!

Original poster

Roscat · 21/02/2012 20:18

That sounds like a v tempting option, Truthsweet! What's the advantage of co-sleeping? With my boys I had them in a Moses basket right next to the bed. If I go ahead with my plan to have a 3-sided cot rammed up against the bed, will baby sleep better? Maybe it would feel more secure? I've always hated feeding lying down so will have to sit up in bed to feed.
Btw when are you due? I'm July x

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 21/02/2012 20:47

I found (for me at least) I got more sleep as I was aware when baby wanted feeding without them even hardly waking up.They start shuffling in their sleep and you either move them out of their cot on to the bed or if they are lying next to you just open nightie and feed while you doze.

Top tip (Well it worked for my babies anyway!) - have baby sleep on a crib flannelette sheet (baby sleeps on the top 2/3rds and the bottom 1/3rd is folded up and over the baby so they can't wriggle down under the bedding) and when they are asleep post feed you just scoop them up sheet and all and put them in the cot. No cold sheet shock and no waking baby!

metalelephant · 21/02/2012 20:53

Wow, the flannelette sheet idea sounds like a way to move my dd to her (never slept in) cot! Thank you TruthSweet and congratulations!

crazy88 · 21/02/2012 21:02

hi roscat, am going though this at the moment! ds3 is 4 weeks old now and my other boys are 5 and 3 and I am bf. It's hard, but I don't think bottle feeding is necessarily easier. It's possible that you would get an extra couple of hours sleep if you bottle feed but personally I could never be bothered with the faff if I didn't have to. It will be difficult enough to get out and about with your other children as it is without having to cart about all the paraphenalia you need when you're bottle feeding. Give it a go and see how you feel. Good luck

Original poster

Roscat · 21/02/2012 21:04

I can see the point of trying to feed lying down. Did you bother winding them at night? Ds1 used to get a v sore tummy if I didn't get that burp out. I was sort of hoping that if baby was stirring I could just stick my hand on it and might get an extra half hour before having to feed again. But minimising crying is essential with 2 other children in the house. I tried to do everything by the book with ds2. He has a very loud voice (still!) and I am never ever doing that again.

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 21/02/2012 21:29

Wait until they stop shuffling about and are quiet and still for maximum sleep (give it about 20mins)

I had mine folded in half length ways before lying them on it and folding over the bottom 1/3rd so that is was a little warmer and didn't drape when you picked them up.

Never bothered winding - DD1 had reflux so she didn't sleep on a flannelette sheet she slept on a bath sheet (massive bath towel) for sick soaking up! - and the other two were fine sleeping after feeding with no winding. I did roll them on to their backs though post feed as they fed on their side.

If you feed them when they start stirring, then they tend to not rouse and just carry on sleeping, whereas if they wake up hungry they tend to be a bit more frantic for a feed (i.e. get them out NOW mum - so you have less time to faff getting comfy).

ALotToTakeIn · 22/02/2012 07:58

Re winding - I had oversupply so DD always had a massive burp in her but also used to fall asleep sitting up being winded and them slipped her back into her cot

Original poster

Roscat · 22/02/2012 20:48

Hi Crazy88'! Nice to hear from you. I definitely think i am going to start off fully bfeeding and then come on here if i get into problems. There seems to be a lot of support. How are you finding looking after 2 bots while feeding?!

Falling asleep while winding, how cute ALotToTakeIn

I remember ds1 jiggling around on the bed with anticipation Truthsweet. When I was trying to do things 'by the book', I thought it was really bad to feed baby to sleep as they get dependant on it. In practice, does it just work itself out? I mean, have your children just come to the point of sleeping through naturally? I spent a lot of time with ds2 trying to get himself to sleep without feeding and think it caused me a lot of unnecessary stress.

OP posts:

Original poster

Roscat · 22/02/2012 20:49

Not 2 bots, 2 boys!!!

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 22/02/2012 21:08

DD3 did just fling her self off me once she was about 9m (can't remember when DD2 did but I think it was about 11m - DD1 was more of a 'by the book' baby).

DD3 is a bit of an odd case as she is waking 7+ times a night at the moment at 2y but that isn't anything to do with bfing, she has really bad eczema and has a wheat intolerance (just being investigated at the moment). Having said that bfing does calm her down if she gets really distressed but it's not why she is waking (the large open sores on her legs and back are whats doing it!).

DD2 stopped waking for night feeds at 16m and even then they weren't every night or even 2 or 3 times a night. She has had night feeds in the last 6m though (had arthritis and now has HMS so has painful joints esp. during a growth spurt which given that she is 110cm at 4.2y she has a lot of those). Bfing, again calms her down and helps her relax enough to sleep (she can't really have painkillers as she has gastritis which was caused by painkillers unless she has them with food and I'm not whipping up sandwiches at 3am!)

I have sickly children though so perhaps I am not the best person to ask!!

TruthSweet · 22/02/2012 21:18

Sorry - fling herself off me and roll over rather than fall asleep bfing....

Original poster

Roscat · 22/02/2012 21:22

Ah poor girls. That's a lot to put up with so it's great they have that comfort of bfeeding. Hope they feel lots better soon

OP posts:

TruthSweet · 22/02/2012 22:06

Funny thing is it seems quite normal now, though luckily DD2 is much better in the past few months so life seems good (apart from Scabby aka DD3). I think DD2 is very close to stopping bfing now so it will be 'interesting' to see how she copes with a growth spurt with no bfing!

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