4 month growth spurt/sleep regression/manic mummy

[monkeyblonde]

I know the above topic(s) are well covered, however I am pretty desperate. My son is EBF and a bottle refuser (only tried breastmilk). My DS is 19 weeks, when he was born he woke up 2 x per night, decreasing to 1 x per night from about 9 weeks. However for the past four/five weeks it has increased to four, sometimes five times per night, each time for a full feed of between 30 and 45 mins.

He eats well-ish during the day, not for as long as when he was younger but I put that down to my milk flow and his drinking action becoming more effective. However when we are out or in company he is so distracted, we can get to the end of the day and he has fed for less than an hour total.

Does anyone have any experience/thoughts on the following:

1. any tips for distracted babies. I have tried different rooms etc, but am now at the stage that I won't go out if he needs to be fed, as I don't want to be left with my boobies out in restaurants.
2. considering adding a formula feed before bed. This might fill him up, right? Does the 'hungry milk' help on this?

Any other thoughts would be welcome, not sure that Mummy can hold out much longer and am desperately trying to not give up bring completely.

I have experience in this....but no answers. Almost exactly as you described, my DD went from usually 1 night waking to 4-5. I put up with it for three weeks or so, then I started feeding only every other waking. I was fairly confident she wasn't hungry (though how can you ever tell?), but I'd just got to the end of my sanity. It took about another three weeks in which she gradually improved (so I guess for us this whole period was between 20-26 weeks). Since then she's slept through pretty consistently and I no longer fed at night from then onwards.

Just by way of disclaimer, I think lots of people disagree with any form of night weaning at this stage, but I found it helpful. I was also dropping off breast feeding from 26 weeks so I wasn't worried about dropping supply issues which may be a concern for you.

I really hope things improve. I found 4-5 mos easily the hardest baby stage yet, but it just passed and all seemed brighter on the other side. Good luck.

Sorry, totally didn't answer your questions.

A). Try a breast feeding apron
B). Yes, I did find a night bottle of ordinary formula seemed to make a difference but I'm prepared to believe it was just a timing coincidence with when my DD was able to sleep through anyway. If you're not worried abut reducing breast feeds, there is no harm in trying a formula bottle.

Thanks so much. I suppose another issue I have is that he is still breastfed to sleep. How do you manage to settle your LO again without feeding when she wakes up in the night?

It's normal for babies to wake more frequently at 4m, nothing to do with hunger (though they will nurse if offered - or ask for a bf) but to do with mental development.

Fiddling about with formula, delaying feeds, or trying to night wean won't make much difference to this developmental leap so it is just really a case of waiting it out and getting as much sleep as you can when you can.

4m is very young and bfing to sleep is natural - you make milk higher in the sleep hormone CCK in the evening/night time for that very reason. While he still feeds to sleep go with it - it will change at some point (when I can't say as it varies between children) but you won't still be bfing him to sleep at 13y...

It just happened gradually as she got older. She's now 8 months. I always used to BF her to sleep, then slowly it came about that I would feed her last thing at night and put her in her cot and she'd still be awake, but I didn't really DO anything ... Just give her a kiss, say goodnight and go. If she wakes in the night I give her a dummy/stroke her forehead. I don't think you need to worry about 'feed to sleep'. It'll just stop gradually as your baby gets older.

Your DS sounds exactly like my DS who's 5 and a half months old now. We went through the same thing when he hit four months. He fed less during the day because he got (and still gets) so distracted and the night time feeds increased and his sleep went out the window. He had previously been waking 1-2 per night and occasionally slept a six hour block.

Feeding outside is really difficult now as there is too much for him to look at and he'll want to sit up and have a look, even when he's hungry. He went off bottles around 4 months too so that's not an option. As a result, I feed him at home and have to do it in the bedroom where there's no noise( no tv, radio etc) and the room is a bit darker. We just organise to do stuff outside around the feed times and I just prioritise keeping the tank full in an effort to minimise night feeds. Not sure if it's all related but he's still waking up a few times each night and that's only settling down now in the past week. We're going to start him on solids in the next week or so and are hoping this will make a difference. He's a big boy (just under 91st for weight and length) and seems to need to eat lots..!

Oh, agree with the post below that so far, month 4-5 has been the hardest.

We have gotten in a pattern of feeding to sleep to which I've been trying to address. I've been largely following Elizabeth pantley (no cry sleep solution) gentle removal approach which in summary involves trying to break the feed to sleep association. What you do is towards the end of a feed when baby has had their productive food suck and is doing the more comfort fluttering suck is pull the nipple away. If they root around for it then offer it again and repeat until baby is happy off. Baby then goes into bed drowsy and without the nipple and hopefully falls asleep. I've been trying to do this for the past few days and have noticed a change. dS will now finish a feed and pull himself off the nipple. I'll then take this as a cue to put him in his cot. He's awake but very sleepy and will blink a few tones and doze off. If he's stirring then I will pat his tummy and shhhhhh shhhhhh to try and help him go off. It doesn't always work but he's getting there and I felt so proud of him the first time he happily dozed off in his cot and not with his mouth on the boob...!

So glad to read this. My DS is 22 weeks and feeds every hour or two at night and is really unsettled-so exhausting. He slept better when he was a newborn! Definately 4-5 months has been the hardest for me so far.

It is comforting knowing we're not alone..!

i'm in the same situation as you monkeyblonde
our DS is 19 weeks, and has gone from one night feed to 4, but he does feed roghly every 2-3 hrs during the day too. he was accepting bottles of expressed milk, but has now completely refused them recently, to the point of getting hysterical and ending up with the boob. at wits end, as we're going to a wedding this w'end, no children allowed, so were going to leave him with gran and auntie, but think we'll have to cancel. i went to a friends for few hours fri night and left him with DP and MIL. he got completely hysterical, took them 4 hrs to give him 1oz. have no idea how to reintroduce the bottle, so any suggestions will be gratefully received.

sorry for thread hijack, just i've aged about 50 years this last fortnight!

Time for me to bump this back up to the top. Can you believe that nearly 2 months down the line we are no further forward?

26 weeks tomorrow. i'm pinning my hopes on Handmini's comment that at 26 weeks things got easier.

I'm wondering whether a switch to formula might be the only way? We are already on 3 meals, and introduced protein at the weekend. Last night I was up hourly from 11 til 6. Surely something's got to change soon?

DS is now teething too, poor guy. Nothing that I offer seems to help (teething gel, calprofen, anbusol, cold fruit)

Any advice welcomed as usual xx

Do you co-sleep? Just wondering if he's got used to milk being there on tap as it were. My SIL co-sleeps and her 20wk old wakes every hour in the night, formula made no difference neither did solids (she weaned v early).

Sorry, have no advice, just wondered if it could've been co-sleeping that was encouraging the frequent feeding.

Well, we don't plan to co sleep, in fact DS has been in his own room for just under a month. However, by around 4/5am I am so exhausted that it's easier to just bring him in. At which point he sleeps like a log for 3 hours!!

What did you do when he was in your room? Was he in his own sleeping space then or co-sleeping full time? Just wondered if he used to co-sleep and now he can't settle unless he's sleeping with you. I dread my DD stopping sleeping and doing this sort of thing.

He was in a moses basket, then crib. The co sleeping is pretty recent, brought on by my severe lack of sleep and inability to physically get up due to being so tired. It would actually be a good short term fix, however then we would have a whole new ballgame to contend with to try and move him out.