So upset, put on 10%+ weight-loss management schedule for new DC2

[Enraha]

Bear with me, I'm quite worked up. I have a 2 week old DS (who is lovely), but have been put on stressful weight monitoring watch by the community midwife team today. I'm quite tearful, as this is exactly what sabotaged BF with my DD after her birth. They have made completely unrealistic demands about me topping up with 30-40 mls of breastmilk, after each feed, when I can't express efficiently at all yet. Leaving me with one option...

It was all going well until 3 days ago. My DS has lost the weight because he and I have had colds this week which have wiped us both out and I have contracted mastitis which i'm soldiering on through, incredibily painful though this is.

How do I get through this? I am already feeling the stress and pressure building up, to play catch up and meet their arbitrary targets. Hand-holding and advice much appreciated, I feel like I've been punched in the face.

I just want to relax, feel better and enjoy my lovely baby, not spend time at tedious appointments justifying the contents of my breasts and getting lectured at. Help please?

I'm not surprised you're upset, all sounds very stressful on top of being ill and having mastitis.

Could you expand on the weight loss- how was weight going on until DS got the cold? Was he back to birth weight by that point? Do you mean he had already put on 10%+ until he got ill and then lost some?

Call one of the helplines right now and talk it through with them. If you don't get through to one, try another, or try from a mobile. Honestly, it will be easier going through it with someone 1-2-1 over the phone than getting into all the detail needed online to try to figure out what would help.

The numbers are all on this page. You can use free mobile mins for 0300 numbers.

My only instant suggestion is breast compressions, which can be really helpful for keeping a baby actively feeding.

Good luck!

Sorry you're going through this. I did breast compressions with my DS when he was a couple of weeks. There are good videos on how to do it on youtube.

Also, as well as phoning a helpline, try to go to a breastfeeding support group locally. La Leche League ones are good if you have one near by, I think the one I went to was called Breastfeeding Mothers, they will give you advice as well as tea, cake and a lot of sympathy and handholding to get you through this stressful time.

I agree with what others have said and just to reiterate that your HCP are there for advise and you can say no to them.

Keep up the good work and you will get there

Going through the same thing right now so just wanted to say hi and you are nor alone. Sorry don't have anything more useful to say!

Hi, thanks for the sympathies. DS decided to feed hourly last night, so I'm feeling a little out of body! He must have detected we are on a mission. I spoke with a lovely lady at LLL last night and went to a drop-in group this morning. I've been told that if I can demonstrate I'm taking appropriate actions and keeping records, they can't really argue with me.

However, until I get signed off by the midwives, i.e. DS returns to birth weight, I thought they did have some kind of "power" and ability to threaten with more intervention e.g. Pack me back off to hospital, use top ups etc. i'd love to be told I'm wrong here, though.

Hawthers, sorry to hear you are going through this too. It sucks doesn't it?

To clarify, DS has lost over 10% from birth weight, no evidence of any increase yet; but i put it down to 3-4 days of poor health in last week (not that I got much sympathy or understanding about that from CMW). It annoys me that they have come down heavily, when they were 2 days late coming to see me, after some scheduling cock-up. Sorry for the rant, the situation has just got me so cross.

I doubt they want to undermine you - they have your babies welfare at heart.

TBH if your baby is still 10% under bw at 2 weeks they are just doing their job.

How are wees and poos? Should be lots of both by now (yellow poo and wet nappies that 'thud' if dropped)

Loads of sympathy - we had a similar problem with our daughter (now 3 yrs) and we did go back into hospital (have to say it didn't occur to me to say no). We also had bad support with the CMW coming 2 days late to our house. We had a happy ending though, she had to use bottles for a month, part expressed and part formula, but learnt to breastfeed at 4 weeks old (when we saw a really good bf counsellor) and I breastfed her for 11 months.

It looked like we would have the same with our son, but we made a massive fuss in the hospital and got to see a really helpful bf specialist, so we managed to get the feeding going without me having to express.

I think if you really want to breastfeed, the most important thing for you is to find someone who can give you good advice on how to get it working - it may be that you need to feed more often, maybe there is some other issue that can be resolved to improve feeding. Loads of midwives/hv are not really helpful if you have unusual feeding problems - even some of the ones doing drop-in groups, you really need to find someone who knows what they're talking about.

Glad you've had some support from LLL. Hopefully you were given some ideas of how to increase the weight.

I guess from the mws point of view, they are seeing a baby that has lost more than 10% of birth weight and is not gaining any. It's probably not clear if DS had started to gain already and then the weight tailed off because of being ill. Of course not all babies are back to birth weight by two weeks old and most are fine, but I suppose they are just keeping an eye out for any underlying problems.

Usual ways to increase milk intake include- switch nursing, breast compressions as mentioned before, feeding v. frequently (2 hrly if pos) and lots of feeding in the night. (sounds like he's been doing that already!)

I hope you're feeling a bit calmer about things and that the next weight in shows an increase.