Is it possible to establish a routine when bf a 3 week old?

[appleandplum]

My ds is 3 weeks old and feeding well and putting good weight on, however he likes to feed when he wants and even if he has fed well he can still want more an hour later. I have 3 other children, 2 year twins and a nearly 4 year, so very busy and am trying to get himto feed at times to avoid the other childrens' teatime, bathtime etc but not very successfully.
Is this possible at this stage or do i just need to go with him?

I would say it isn't possible at his stage and especially as there's usually a three week old growth spurt when they'll feed like mad to up your supply.

You could feed to a routine but I wouldn't expect bfing to last very long in that case or for baby to be very happy having to wait for scheduled feeds.

Nothing wrong with a pre-emptive offering of a feed (i.e. if you know you are going to have to start dinner in 20 mins to offer a feed then to tide them over until dinner is in the oven) or having a time of day that you always offer baby a feed (e.g. just before bedtime for the older children so that baby is less likely to need a feed while you are bathing his siblings).

You could also try bfing in a sling (the wrap of ring kind not the carrier strappy kind) or just having baby in the sling at times when know you are going to be busy with the older children as slinging a newborn can keep them happy!

Hmm well obviously they're all different, but my experience of bf babies at this age is that the routine is that they just want feeding all the time, especially if it's inconvenient.......

Remember, this too will pass................

I'd say it would be hard to do a full on routine at this age - or at least you'd need to spend some time concentrating fully on getting him into a routine which will be hard with other children to look after, and then maybe not very flexible around the other children's needs.

I'd maybe try giving a feed just before tea/bath-time, then putting the baby in a sling with a dummy and you might get a couple of hours clear before you have to feed again.

I didn't get ds into a routine by stretching him between feeds, but I did tend to offer feeds at the same time every day (about every 2.5 hours) if he hadn't asked, which then did form a routine of sorts.

No I don't think so but as others said they are all different and only the preemptive approach may help.

Thank you for responses, i have tried offering feed at more convenient time but he still ends up wanting a feed when he wants, which is just babies being babies.
He is usually pretty settled in the day, feed and then go to sleep after some time awake but his last feed at night, 10/11 ish he is so unsettled and the feed usually lasts about 2 hours , quite often with being sick going into his bed then crying so has another feed, any ideas how to speed up the feed process??

No. Think you're being unrealistic optimistic hoping to 'speed up' the feed process at 3wks, and establish a routine (WRT feeds).

That said, we did put DS1 (also BF) down at 7pm from about 3 weeks - in his moses basket upstairs in our room. We rocked him or shushed him and he was happy with that. He was very big at birth (10lb+), although he lost well over a pound in the first week, so he was probably only about 9lb at 3 weeks. However, this may still be bigger than your baby - generally if they are smaller they will require more frequent feeds as their tummy will be proportionately smaller and need to be refilled more quickly.

DS2 was also BF, weighed only 8lb at birth, dropping to 7lb in the first week, and then putting back on, so that he would have been around 8lb at this age. He was not having any of it WRT bedtimes, so he stayed in his basket downstairs for the first 6mths. (This was also partly because his big bro had a bed/bath routine that was going on at that time, and it made sense for his dad to get on with that and leave me on the sofa with DS2.) What I'm trying to say is that they are all different, but IMHE, they'll need feeding every 2-3 hours (from start of one feed, to start of next feed) at this stage, and you can expect them to take a good half hour at times. By about 3 months, they get really good at draining a breast in 5-10mns and you can deal with the nightfeeds much more easily as you're then both back to bed much more quickly.

If you can, go with the slow-time and zombie feeling - BFing is very difficult to establish, takes loads of time, and is relentless for you in these early months, but it will get easier. Try to get to bed as early as you can yourself, and expect any vestige of normality to be but a distant memory for a few months at least. Once you get to the 5wk mark, you could try expressing a bottle of BM for your DP to administer once a night - although be warned that early on it's hard to get out more than a few drops, and that not all BF babies will accept a bottle. One no more than once per 24 hours though is not supposed to cause any 'nipple confusion', and if you have time to sit and pump, it does offer you more flexibility later on (when you have more established milk, you can fill a bottle more easily, then have a few hours out in the evening/afternoon, knowing that whoever baby is with has some food that s/he will accept). Again, one of mine would accept a bottle, t'other wouldn't.

Good luck!

WRT to that last feed, are you giving him a bit of time upright (e.g. cuddled over your shoulder?) before you put him down. Could be a bit of wind (although less likely if not bottle feeding). Have a look on www.kellymom.com and search 'spitting up' - it's quite common for BF babies to bring up a bit of their feed - usually it's a very small amount and no cause for concern.
Re-reading your post, 2 hours does seem like a long time. Is he very big? Do you offer milk from both breasts? Do you think he is feeding all that time or just enjoying himself for the last hour? Are you getting a good dinner and putting your feet up in the evening (will improve your supply last thing at night)? Do you BF him in the dark? Are you cosleeping?

You and the baby are he priorit and he needs to feed little and often.

Don't rush him, see if you can fit the others into HIS needs not the other way round. Difficult I know, do you have any help at all?

Even if it's just for a few weeks you need another pair of hands to take the toddlers off you so you can just sit and rest or nurse. Any GP's nearby or other family? Is your DH/DP able to take some time off to support you?

You're doing fab by the sound of it!

Crikey just taken on board that you've also got 3 others to look after. Sorry - telling you how to suck eggs above! I imagine none of that is new to you. I had DS2 when DS1 was just 2, so think he probably spent a bit more time waiting for food - at bathtime I left him in the cot for 10mns and saw to DS1. Think I probably used more cbeebies podcasts (you can download bedtime stories) to play to DS1 rather than read them yourself, if that helps at times. Think I just dropped my standards of housework and activities with the older child, sat on the sofa with the remote, some books and puzzles for DS1, and fed DS2 as and when. It is hard work, but within another month or two you'll probably be saving time with regard to preparing bottles etc..

Have you heard of www.homestart.org.uk - they have volunteers who might be able to come in once or twice a week to help out, or you might want to try your local preschool/nursery or FE college to see if you can find a student in early years ed. or some such course who would be happy to come out and assist for an hour at bedtime or other crunch times.

All the best, let us know how it goes.

Sorry for delay, not been back on here for few days! Yes is bit of a nightmare with other 3 to manage as well. I am lucky that having lots of help from gp's but know this won't last forever so need to manage by myself esp as dh commutes 100 miles each way everyday so not here at bedtime. I know i should know myself with this being no. 4 but i did not bf my twins.
When i say feed process, he is not feeding for this long but at his last feed of day whether it starts at 9/10 or 11 pm it takes him forwver to settle back to sleep. I have given him a bottle of formula 2 nights to see if any better but its just the same. He has wind and tummy ache but at all other times he is pretty good at settling back so could tihis be colic just at this one time? By the time i have settled from this last feed i have about an hour before he wants his middle of the night feed so i am exhausted. He is putting on weight well btw so don't think it can be supply, in fact have fast letdown which sprays out and causes him to cough.
Any ideas why its just at tis time of night?
Many thnks

Sounds like he just wants to be with you at night. Maybe have him in your bed and feed lying down then you can doze while he feeds.

Id say to a degree that by making this one fit in with the others will, over a considerable time, work. Simply because if thats the only times he will eventually pick up on that and go with it. Thats not going to happen quickly though and will feel hard. That said everything in hindsight feels quicker. For example my dd was colicky for 10 wks. Felt like forever at the time. Now a year later feels like a blink of an eye.....

The best advice I got really was trust yourself and follow your own instincts.

Everything is worse at night. Colds to feeding to your own feelings. My advice is do not think at night. Try your best to not feel too. Nothing is 'right' at night but looks a darned sight better at 7am!