rod for my own back?

[suzi2]

DS (6 months) is having a really tough time at the moment. His eczema is horrendous - has swollen rashes too. He's teething. And he has a cough. Anyway, he's usually a quick feed, pull off and then scream to get laid down sort of baby. But lately, he wants to suckle all the time. I have found that the only way to get him to sleep the last few nights is to feed him. Once he is sound asleep on my boob he gets transferred to his cot. Every time he wakes, the only thing that will settle him is me!

Now, my mum says I'm making a rod for my own back and that he'll forget how to go to sleep on his own. Is this the case? Or will it be a nightmare to re-teach him to not need me? My instinctive thoughts are that he needs me and I shouldn't deny him... Anyone any experience of this?

you're right!
he needs you, and you don't have to deny him.
he won't forget how to sleep on his own... but right now he is hurting and wants his mummy to comfort him...

Your instinct is to meet your ds' needs, and rightly so. I have made so many rods for my own back, I keep them under my bed. When your ds is ready to sleep on his own, he will. There is nothing to forget. He will only remember that his mummy is a source of comfort when he was distressed.

If he is suffering at the moment then the best thing you can do is give him comfort. The breast is not all about milk, but comfort as well...

Oh poor babe!
He needs his mummy.
Snuggle up with him and feed feed feed.

Shocked by your mother's comment tbh.

I'd comfort him any way that helps while he's feeling so unhappy. My ds had bad exzema at that age so I know how awful it is. Yes, maybe when he's feeling better you'll have to encouage him to sleep without suckling, but it would be harsh not to do something that will make him feel a little bit better when he's not well, poor thing.

Mears, did I catch you talking about 'the' breast?

good lord suzi2 what's the alternative does yuor mother think? the poor baby needs comfort and of course your instinct is to provide it.
and your instinct is right.
hope he feels better soon
HC xx

You cetainly did. A life time habit is hard to break

Trust your own instincts - your baby not your mums - she's not the one who will have to cope with a screaming baby if he's wants you & can't have you for comfort!! I am still feeding my 18 month old to sleep most nights - it works so well & he falls asleep so easily & without any fuss so why change it. He will learn how to go to sleep on his own in time. He has started doing so occasionally (usually when hes sat on or next to one of us in front of the tv at night) so I know that I doing the right thing - he's happy, I'm happy so no problems!!

FYI BM contains a natural sedative so it is designed to be used to but babies to sleep!!

And the oxytocin is useful to get you back to sleep too.

What are you doing about the excema? Is he taking probiotics and flax seed oil?

IME he will be fine. Ds learnt to sleep at around a year (when we started giving him zyrtec and moved to a dry, new house). Once his symptoms were less he slept better and his symptoms got better because he was sleeping better.

Ignore your mum unless she is prepared to play maternity nurse for the next six months then it's not her call.

And finally - you are coping with a problem you have right now, and you have found something that works. Why on earth would you want to try and solve a problem you don't even have, may have in the future, but might now have, when this will make your original and real problem a million times worse.

Thanks. I knew I was right. I just seem to lose all confidence when my mum tells me it's wrong. Or when I'm tired. DS slept a lot better last night so we're all feeling a bit more human.

I have to confess that I LOVE it when he falls asleep feeding. Makes me feel wanted.

Bobbybob... I've just posted on the allergy forum about the flax seed & probiotics. DS isn't taking them, although I am at the moment.

i am sick of hearing the 'rod for your own back' line...

you feed him - he needs his mummy

Didn't someone suggest a teeshirt that said "It's my rod and my *&^%ing back, so piss off"

Get one of those for when your mother visits

oh i would lobve that t shirt too

mp