why have baby weighed?

[dinksdoes]

NOt sure if Im just interfering - probly I am, but It has been worrying me. I have a friend who has a very small 5 month baby, she was small when she was born, 9th percentile, She didnt put wgt on very well to begin with and had to feed with a syringe, until the mum used nipple shields ( she has inverted nipples) The baby was always quite sleepy and has been a concern of many of our friends as she just didnt seem alert or even focusing on things. She has recently seemed more alert so that is good, but the mother has not taken her to be weighed since her 6 week check. The baby sleep well at night so the mum says she has no concern, I guess shes right, but deep down I think she is avoiding the scales. Last week the baby started to wake at night, but now the mum is giving baby rice this has stopped. I spoke to her about taking her to be weighed to check things out and she was very nervous about it. The mother did have an eating problem herself. She isnt going to take baby to be weighed now that she is sleeping again. Should i say something to her and if so what???
Sorry long post!

Perhaps you could offer to go with her to the health nurse -sometimes the health nurses can be a little harsh on new parents. She might be feeling a bit bullied by them, or possibly need extra support with understanding all that the nurse is telling her. Sounds like she's had a bit of a tough time with dealing with different things. I wouldn't worry too much about the percentiles - they were apparently based on bottle fed caucasion babies in the 1960s...my DD was 3rd percentile for the longest time and is now 3.5y.o and happy as larry - SOMEONE has to be in the smaller side of things. My DS however is up in the 75th! So they grow in fits and spurts..maybe she just needs a bit of encouragement. But yes, I think the baby should be weighed and checked over by the health nurse as often as normal for your area!

(do you mean health visitor, groveromy? You got it wrong about charts, sorry :) Current charts are from data based on bf babies; we never did have the charts you describe - maybe other countries did).

OP: is your friend in touch with her HV? Presumably she has taken her baby for her vaccinations, so someone will have seen her and her baby, and made some sort of assessment. Weight is a useful rough guide to overall health but it's only one part of the picture.

Maybe your friend has had some discussion with the HV already - and decided not to get her baby weighed often, because of her own problems with eating and food. Avoiding the scales may have a logic to it.

It might be easiest to be frank with your friend, and share your concerns not about weight specifically, but her baby's general well-being.

Thank you, Yes I did offer to go with her, but couldnt go this week and now she has decided not to go again. I might offer next week then just broach my concern gently. She has had the baby vaccinated so the last time a health prof saw her was 12 weeks. Both the mum and Dad do seem to have issues with HV/Midwives stemming from when the baby wasnt feeding at birth, as the midwife wanted to take the baby into hospital because she lost so much wgt. I do under stand that wgt comes in waves, my baby started off on the 75th, went down to 50th, 25th and now coming back up to between 50th and 75th, this little one is small and more than likely she is fine, i just feel that my friend is avoiding getting her weighed and avoiding the HV. She was worried last week ( when she decided to possibly take her) what the HV was going to say regarding the fact that she hasnt taken her to see them before.
Before xmas alot of my friends voiced concern about her development as she was just so sleppy and not focusing on things, not even recognising dad, she seems to have improved in this area so at least I dont have to mention this to her. Its really hard.

I think it sounds like you have to leave it up to her....as I said, if she has had an eating disorder, avoiding a focus on weight and intake could be a good thing all round. This baby will be moving on to solid food soon, and if the mum is happy to go down the baby-led weaning route, the baby will eat what she wants :) Perhaps you can encourage this, by swapping BLW hints and tips.

I had 3 DC all BF and past the 6 week check I never fussed about getting them weighed either.

I was their mother, I could see they were healthy and growing.

I'm 6ft tall and a size 10, they too were (are) long and skinny, not an ounce of baby fat anywhere.
When my baby's were small the HVs did still use the charts based on bottle fed Caucasion babies in the 1960s, I'm Afro-Caribbean and I BF so why would I waste my time.
If I ever had any concerns or wanted to ask specific questions then I'd pop into the baby clinic and at the same time have baby weighed out of curiousity.

I think the OP was worried her friend's baby is not healthy and growing, though, Treadmill....that's the problem. I agree - often weighing is superfluous when babies are clearly thriving :)

Where did you have your babies? The UK has never used a bottle fed caucasian 1960s chart....ever!

Yes thats it I am worried that she isnt healthy and growing and alot of friends have also commented about her development too. I think the mum is avoiding the HV, she admitted it last week and acts very strange when I ask if she is going to get the baby weighed, she just says there is no need as she is sleeping and she doesnt have any concerns. I guess I should just leave it really, i just dont want her to be avoiding something. The mum has started giving baby rice to the baby last week when she started to wake at night. The mother doesnt have an eating problem any more, just very careful and health conscious, good but a bit neurotic. Ah Well...

Sorry tiktok, for the wrong info. By Health Nurse I did mean health visitor (am writing from Australia). I probably shouldn't give info/support if it's not accurate, I was told that by a few people probably in consolation of my own DD being small...but she is half chinese so it makes sense that she isn't going to match 1960s caucasian charts! (if they even use such a thing!)
To be honest though, especially in the UK which is multi-racial, there is no 'perfect' chart to determine percentiles. Possibly you could have a chart which accounts for ethnic group though? I dont know...
I think as long as the baby is thriving - sleeping and feeding well, then that is a good indicator of development. Not being alert/failing to recognise etc is a concern and I hope the health visitor can help allay concerns that the mother might have.

I don't personally believe that you need to involve your HV or have your child weighed by them continually. I haven't seen or spoken to mine since she last came to the house when my twins were two or three weeks old. I prefer to mother my children intuitively and found her involvement intrusive, so maybe your friend has similar views? Mine were also tiny and slow to put on weight. I got sick of so called professionals badgering me to formula feed them so cut them out of the picture. As soon as I was able to make my own decisions about my babies without having to double check with my HV we were all much happier. Does your friend's baby actually seem sickly to you?

When I had DS we were encouraged to have frequent weigh ins (2 years ago) but with DD they've changed it and say only around the time of immunisations/development checks.

I'm not surprised your friend is reluctant. And I'm sure peoplemeant well, but why were her friends commenting on baby's ability to focus etc? That would be enough to make a new mum incredibly sad and defensive.

That's it exactly Iggly! Being on the defensive. The last thing she needs when she is probably already worried about every decision she is making about a new baby. In your situation I wouldn't get involved, to be honest, unless she approaches you.

The charts in current use in the UK are based on WHO data which was collected from 8 centres - developed and developing - all over the world. Ethnicity does not make a different in growth rate - so a small Chinese baby will not grow at a different rate from a small French baby. The 'average' Chinese baby may start off smaller than the 'average' French baby, but the growth rate in the first two years is not related to ethnicity. There is good evidence for this, across many studies.

The difficulty with the charts is that too many HCPs still don't understand how to use them and to interpret them for individual cases.

Yes I dont want to interfere, as I said at the start of my OP and dont worry friends have NOT commented to the mother about the babies development - only strangers who dont know shes 5 months old and think shes a new born! As friends and even mothers of friends we are just concerned that she is avoiding health prof. I dont think the mother is on the defence. I think she was just really put off HV/midwives at the start with the feeding issues and I admit they didnt give good advice to her, I think and hope as a friend I helped more! The midwife said to feed baby with syringe every3-4 hours and only 5mls!, I just said feed the little thing every time she opened her mouth, eve if they had to take shifts waking every 2 hours in the night ( they thought they had a well behaved sleeper, as all she did was sleep, think she was hungry she couldnt do anything except sleep) - she had lost so much wgt that the parents had 24 hrs to improve things of the midwife was going to insist they took her to hosp. Luckily she didnt loose any more and does seem to feed fine now with nipple shileds. I guess she is just a small and sleepy baby, ooh my dd is crying now so will have to go

groveromy, my DD is also half Chinese and she's between 50th and 75th percentile on weight so it does vary!