Breasting difficulties at 12 weeks

[lizzywig]

I was so looking forward to breastfeeding before LO came along. I can't say I hate it, we have ups and downs and we persist.

At 3 days I had bad advice from the midwife and was told that my milk had not come in and that I should top up with formula - I now know it was the 3 day growth spurt. However this topping up lasted for about 5 weeks as we really thought I had problems and after an hour and a half of feeding each time she was still hungry! We tried to stop the topping up and at first she struggled and her wet nappies stopped, so we continued topping her up and then a week later we tried again and all was fine. We have not needed to top up since. This was a huge relief as it made me dislike breastfeeding so much, I was constantly feeding, expressing and sterilising gahhhhhh!!!! However I persisted.

Everything has been fine since although she has always refused to eat in public, so we usually give her expressed milk or some formula if no expressed milk. Due to this I try to schedule trips out so that we don't have to feed when out. Last week I became unwell (flu type bug) and I had huge difficulties, in fact I posted on here because she pretty much stopped eating. She would take herself off and cry constantly. I was advised that I should try skin to skin. I wasn't so keen feeling so ill but then my mum made a suggestion. Is everything too loud for her, so I turned off the TV, didn't talk and for the first time in ages she ate properly. So since then we've been eating in silence. Then yesterday it started again, she's pulling herself off after about 5 or 6 seconds, she's screaming when she is eating. It's just awful. She does seem to get enough because after around 30 mins she stops and is fine. It's just that due to everything I have already been through I'm not a huge b'feeding fan. I would do the skin to skin thing but unfortunately we're at my parents because our heating has stopped working....which is not so good for a small baby.

I wouldn't go as far as saying that I hate breastfeeding but I'm really starting to resent it. When it was going ok I felt I could tolerate it but I'm starting to lose patience and I bet that has an impact on it not going so well!! I don't want to give up it's soooo good for her. I really want to start liking it and for it to go better. Any advice because I feel like I could just cry.

Is the milk letting down and rushing out too fast and she's struggling? I used to sometimes take my baby off me for a moment and let the let down slow a touch and then relatch. My two also started teething frightfully early and I ended up slathering their gums in teething gel before each feed to help.

There are different stages with feeding, and once your milk supply settles and they get better at feeding they can take more but feed for less time iyswim? Was she hungry or do you feed on a routine out of a matter of interest?

a look at this weblink and click on the titles to have a read, you may find it helpful www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/fussy-while-nursing.html

Oh dear my web link went a bit strange but it does still work. Hopefully now I've bumped your thread some more people will be along soon.

Hmmm ok I take that back, it isn't working, try again: www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/baby/fussy-while-nursing.html

I did wonder if she was teething as she's been dribbling quite a lot and has little rosy cheeks (not all the time though). I don't mean to feed to a routine but sometimes it works out like that. Normally I feed as follows:

7am wake & feed
9am nap
11:45am wake & feed
1:45pm nap
4pm wake & feed
6pm bath time
6:20pm milk time & bedtime

As she sleeps for such long periods of time I generally feed her when she wakes up and boy does she demand it! However the last couple of weeks has been a bit off course through illness (me), staying at my parents (heating broken down at home) and so some days is as above and it's what we aim for because it's when she's happiest but other days she won't nap for longer than 40 mins so she'll get up and after about 30 mins start demanding food but then we have problems. That said even on the good days we've been having problems. I don't think my milk let down is too fast, I actually wondered if because she doesn't normally eat so regulary my body isn't used to producing enough milk for these 'new times' and so she's getting frustrated. I've been listening but I've hardly heard any let down at all, so I wonder if that's why she's finding it hard.....

Hi, sorry to hear it's no fun at the moment. From your routine it seems as though she is only getting 4 feeds a day - is that right? I'm definitely no expert but I'd have thought at 12 weeks she needs feeding more regularly whether bf or ff. My dd is 10 weeks and feeds 7-9 times in 24 hrs. I know everyones body works differently but i would think most women would struggle to produce enough to ebf on only 4 feeds a day. Can you fit in a few extra and see what happens?

You may be right about your milk supply, my baby pulls of and then latches back on and gets very fussy when who's hungry and the milk in one breast has run out. I would read up about increasing milk supply and perhaps try waking her to feed her more often, 4 feeds seems very few for her age. I have bf all my 3 and I know what you mean, sometimes I hate it, it can seem like such hard work, however one thing I can tell you is that when I have stopped I have missed it, and when it's going well I love it

I'm no expert, but I fed mine every 3 hours in the day, I would start on one breast and then when they were getting fussy, I'd switch to the other for the last bit. Then on the next feed, I'd start on the breast I finished with iyswim and do it all over again. When they had a growth spurt I would end up feeding them every 2 hours for a day or two as well.

If you scroll down to "worried about milk supply" and click on the subtitles, there is a lot of helpful imformation on the kellymom website here: www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/index.html. Usually if your supply has dropped a little, feeding on demand can up the supply again.

My mum always joked that the reason cows produced lots of milk was that they rested a lot and always told me to relax and drink plenty of water. Tiktok is really helpful and may come by the thread later today. But have a look at kellymom again. I always doubted whether I was producing enough milk and I was a real worrier but they had wet nappies and were gaining weight well.

I do agree about the 4 times a day thing, I was worried about that too but she doesn't seem to want any more than that. If she wakes in the night I also feed her then too but she will only usually wake up once. The trouble is she usually goes down for a nap no later than 2 hours after she first woke up so if I were to feed her, she'd be up so long that she'd refuse sleep and then become overtired. I have tried squeezing in an extra feed before nap time but she just knods off. I keep waking her but she refuses to eat, she just wants to sleep. It's because she'll usually nap between 2-3 hours at a time that it's just not possible to squeeze more than that in!! If she asks for it then obviously I'll feed her. She doesn't seem to have any troubles because of it, she's happy, laughs, lots of wet nappies and gaining weight and staying on the 50th centile as time goes by.

Perhaps though the problem with her coming off is that she's been eating more than normal recently because of less sleep (due to all the chaos) and so my body can't keep up.

Today however seems a bit more back to normal.

Slept through the night.
6:40am woke up
6:50am ate
8:50am nap
11:20am woke up
11:25am ate

So I'll put her down for a nap at 1:20pm and she'll eat when she wakes up. I would try feeding her before but trust me 1) she won't eat and 2) she'll be yawning so much she'll just want to sleep!!

It does sound like she's getting enough, as when she feeds they are big feeds. Have a read of kellymom anyway. Glad today is going better. You are doing well x