how to convince my husband things are ok?? he wants me to stop

[mamaesi]

i have over supply and a fast let down. I have been going to a few breastfeeding drop ins and have been doing better following the advice given.

however my 12 week old still fusses at the breast still cries and it is not so easy feeding her in general. she is very gassy and unsettled, etc

so my husband has now decided that he knows best, that the baby isn't getting enough milk during feeds and keeps taking the milk i have pumped and frozen for babysitting purposes and giving the baby a bottle of expressed milk...when he can and I am not looking!

I am furious and keep telling him to stop. but he says the baby is happier and prefers the bottle so why should I carry on breastfeeding! i am so stressed because the baby fusses worse in the evening which is the only time he sees her.

anyone else had an unsupportive husband?

mamasei, oversupply and fast let down can usually be fixed or at least improved - has anyone helped you with this?

Why do you say she is gassy?
Have a look here: breastfeedingqueries.wordpress.com/2011/12/15/gone-with-the-wind/

Your DH is out of order, for sure....hope others will come up with some suggestions for that.

Tell him that he has to buy all the formula, bottles, sterilizing equipment and makes up ALL the bottles night and day for the next year, AND deals with the smelly nappies ... then he might realize what a good deal he has!
It does get easier, hang in there

Your DH is basically undermining you.

You need to tell him to stop and tell him why.

Does he think you're not coping?

Also fussing in the evening is normal - FF or BF. it's usually because baby is tired and overstimulated (particularly when daddy comes home and wants to play ). She will fuss on and off the boob because she's tired and wants comfort but BF takes effort so she fusses etc etc. DD is calmer if I take her to a quiet dark room to feed before bedtime.

FF is not a magic answer. Maybe your dh feels he cannot do anything because you're bf? Can you involve him in other ways eg sorting her out in the mornings?

You need to tell him that breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your baby. That you are lowering her chances of diabetes, obesity, eczema, asthma, allergies. You're increasing her iq and lowering your risk of breast cancer, ovarian cancer and osteoporosis.

If you were to only express and then give bm in a bottle it would soon affect your supply and your milk may dry up. Also every feed would take twice as long as you need to express and then give the feed.

If she is getting wet and dirty nappies and gaining weight then she is getting enough. That's how you tell. The fussing is incidental. She's a baby, they fuss. But yes a fast let down may be part of the reason.

Do you think he is feeling left out? That he wants to do some feeds as he enjoys that? If so can you come to a compromise where he can give some feeds in a bottle a couple of times a week? But he will stop trying to undermine you. Can he do other fun stuff like bath time as well.

Oversupply is a nightmare - I never got proper advice and gave up too soon.
Would speaking to the health visitor at the next weigh-in help him understand more? Could he take some time off and come along? Hearing it from an 'expert' third party might be what he needs.

I thought I was making improvement re: oversupply/let down...I was lying down, block nursing and trying to burp baby half way...

it got better, but now its worse again...of course it doesn't help that the few times she has a good feed are of course at the breastfeeding groups.

I am so frustrated and my husband sees that and is just 'trying to help' but suggesting its ok to give up, but I don't want to give up

If you have an oversupply why does your DH think baby isn't getting enough milk??

It can take time to down regulate an over supply so it does require patience (and that includes from DHs!) but it will happen.

What length of time or you block nursing for?

interesting article tiktok.

I still say she is gassy, meaning she farts constantly and burps constantly...I do not have to 'burp' her. I just pick her up and she burps and vomits because her fussiness at the breast and slurping and coming on and off creates so much air

OK - she's managing her wind ok, but is a bit fussed and fussy.....all that sounds consistent with over supply, and it might be that you need to have longer blocks now. Some very generous producers need to have blocks of many, many hours (even up to 10 or 12, though that's unusual). If your blocks have been 3 or 4, you could happily lengthen them to 6.