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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Is the GP right,am i making a 'rod for my own back'? Sorry quite long.

21 replies

scottygirl5 · 04/02/2012 06:46

DD is nearly 5 months and I have posted a few times here and on sleep forum about her frequent and early waking. Has got worse since she was about 3.5 months but basically for the last couple of weeks she's woken every 1-2.5 hours and rarely re-settles without a feed. She has fed roughly every 2 hours during the day for the last 3 months and isn't looking to feed any more or less frequently during the day.

I mentioned this to the GP when we were there about something else and she said that physically DD shouldn't need to feed this much at night and i should do cc. I expressed my concern about doing this at her age and also that she has dropped down the centiles from birth (from 50th to between 9th and 25th) despite frequent feeding. This was when the rod/back comment was made.

I should say that this is a pretty well thought of GP,i saw a breast feeding support worker in the early feeding days who really rates them so they're not anti BF.

So am i making a rod for my own back? Honest (but kind :)!) thoughts appreciated.

OP posts:

ShowOfHands · 04/02/2012 06:54

No. DD fed 2 hourly day and night until at least 7 months. It was just what she needed. Chuck in the 4 month regression and it's a tough time. I wouldn't listen to anybody who told me to use controlled crying on a tiny bloody baby. They need reassurance, comfort, nutrition, closeness etc and that's what you're offering.

That said, I'd make sure for my own peace of mind that milk transfer is okay. Just because very frequent feeding and any concerns about weight gain might have a link. My dd was the opposite, born on the 50th centile, off the charts at 5 months. She was catching up to her natural centile and that took frequent feeds. Have you a local cafe or counsellor who can just check a couple of feeds for you?

There's every chance it's fine. 4yo dd is in her own bed, where she is every night, all night, having self settled at 7.30pm. She's been doing this for several years now. Her happy, independent, sunny nature I credit to having been responded to appropriately when tiny. Rod, schmod.

Shouldibuy · 04/02/2012 06:56

Sounds a lot like my ds1 at that age - it was a nightmare at night so I feel for you.

Do you co-sleep at all - we did that sometimes and found I got a bit more sleep that way, although not a perfect solution.

Does she have any other health issues? Ds1 had bad eczema so later we found out that he was allergic to various things. With hindsight, maybe if I had cut out dairy etc from my diet, he might have been a bit better, but there is no real way to know.

Am in no way a bf expert, so its possible this is bad advice, but sometimes we found that if I expressed, and dh gave him a bottle late at night, we would get
Slightly longer before the first night feed - and didnt make any difference to my supply - he had fed plenty to keep that up!

Not to depress you, but ds has never been a good sleeper (4 now) - but we cope .

stuffthenonsense · 04/02/2012 07:01

Like show of hands DD4 fed pretty much 2 hourly day and night for the best part of her first year, we were cosleeping, demand feeding, everything. I absolutely refused to do CC despite being told 'youll have to sometime', anyway, she is now 19 months, sleeping through the night, in her own bed, in her room, being breastfed 2 or 3 times a day for a short time...
My DD started at 90th centile and dropped through almost every centile on the chart, she was otherwise happy and healthy, and is still petite, do find a breastfeeding support group, there are lots of them around.

StickAForkInMeImDone · 04/02/2012 07:02

Your DD sounds exactly like my DS and DD at that age. I let them feed use my boob as a dummy as and when they wanted. Co-slept with both of them till they were about 9months. Some friends raised their eyebrows at me, but Ididn't give a shit.
Dd is now 7 and sleeps 11hours a night and DS is 19months and sleeps 10/11 hours a night. But if DS woke tonight and wanted comfort I would still offer it to him.
Hate hate hate the term "rod for your own back" when used in the same sentence as babies.
You do what is right for and your baby OP.

Original poster

scottygirl5 · 04/02/2012 07:06

Thanks for replies. Don't think there're any health problems and sadly she's not a big fan of co sleeping but i might get in touch with the bf support worker,hadn't thought of doing that as DD is older now but i found her generally helpful before so will try that.

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WitchOfEndor · 04/02/2012 07:10

Given that your DD has dropped from the percentile she was on I would grit your teeth and keep feeding on demand until you can start weaning and then see what happens. My DS had quite a few growth spurts where it felt like I fed him all night, more so than my friends DC's but every child is different and even though the comparisons to other DC made me feel like I had birthed a milk monster I kept on as it was right for him. The sleepless nights are almost a distant memory!

Original poster

scottygirl5 · 04/02/2012 07:26

Thanks witch,that's what i thought, seemed odd to try to drop any feeds when she's dropped down the centiles but already feeds frequently in the day.

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Original poster

scottygirl5 · 04/02/2012 07:38

I should maybe say that daytime feeds are a little more distracted these days (see reverse cycling thread) so on reflection maybe GP thinks she'll feed better in the day if not filling up at night? Just want to be fair to them!

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cluelessnchaos · 04/02/2012 07:39

Sounds just like my dc4 he fed 1-2 hourly for the first 7 months of his life, at about 9 months I felt he didn't need all his night feeds and it was habit. I dropped one feed by staying in the room with him not picking him up and shushing him back to sleep. From there he settled into needing 1 night feed and now, at 14 months sleeps 7:30-6:30. So I think you do need to take action at some point but not before they are properly taking solids during the day

PeggyCarter · 04/02/2012 07:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhinopotamus · 04/02/2012 08:11

Sounds just like DS2, just 5 months. DS1 was the same. He's just turned 3 and has slept all night since about 18 months. Knowing that it will probably be ok in the end doesn't make the sleep deprivation any easier though!

captainbarnacle · 04/02/2012 08:28

My 7m old DS3 I exactly the same! Wont settle in evenings either now. Wakes every 90 mins in night and nly comforted by feed (we cosleep). Am trying to pack house for move through this (no daytime naps either) and 2 other boys n my own and never going to work. He was born 2m early but on 91st adjusted. Is now less than 25th but still 91st for length.

See paediatrician for routine app on Monday. Dread to think what she'll say.

Original poster

scottygirl5 · 04/02/2012 08:57

Good to know how many other are in the same situation,none of my RL friends have babies whose sleep is like this,don't suppose any of you have early wakers too? We started day at 430 this morning.

Captainbarnacle,would be good to know what your paediatrician says.

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cowboylover · 04/02/2012 15:06

Scotty I have come to the conclusion that lots of my RL friends and other mums at playgroup must just lie! When they ask how my DD sleeps I just say 'yes she sleeps' and end of conversation as when I'm honest to say she only goes to bed when I do and is awake every 2 hours usually gets me a whole load of crap advice I don't need.

Now at 8 months she feeds to sleep, I got to her everytime she cry's, waskes anywhere between 2 and 7 times and she is a pleasure to be around

Keep following your instincts as your baby is telling you what it needs and you will be rewarded x

CailinDana · 04/02/2012 15:15

Oh please don't listen to others who say their babies sleep so well! For some it'll be true, for others it'll be a case of ignoring a crying baby for half an hour every night, and for others it's just plain lies. Your baby is only looking for milk because she needs it, she's not trying to piss you off. It's horrible and tiring but hopefully a month or so into weaning, once she's on a good bit of food, the feeds will start to dwindle a little.

My DS was pretty bad for waking at 5 months but by 11 months he was going down to sleep on his own every night and sleeping till about 4 (this was progress, believe me!). Now, at 13 months he's still going down well and sleeping till about 5:30.

Just go with what your little one wants. It's far more stressful IMO to try to ignore them and make them conform because not only are you awake but you also have to go against your instinct and listen to them wail. Once I just accepted that I wasn't going to sleep much and that it wouldn't be forever I felt much better and over time it all just improved by itself. Now, if she's still waking at age 2 then might be the time to reassess things, but for now she's just a tiny baby who needs you :)

HooverTheHamaBeads · 04/02/2012 17:13

I would say you are - that's my honest opinion.

I BF'd both of mine but never consciously fed-to-sleep. I would say they were good sleepers too and slept through from an early age, luckily. I did a mix of baby whisperer/Gina Ford which worked well for us and had a rigidly structured day of feed/sleep times which just translated into long periods of sleep at night. Now they are 7 and 5 and at school so the sleepless nights seem a long time ago.

Your approach will work perfectly for you, though because we just do what suits us best.

mawbroon · 04/02/2012 19:21

Has anybody mentioned The No Cry Sleep Solution yet?

Worth a look I would say.

DS1 was the world's worst sleeper, so I know how crap it can be sometimes, but for me, just going with it always seemed easier than any of the alternatives.

He sleeps all night now, but he's 6yo

HappyAsASandboy · 04/02/2012 19:24

I agree with the others - deep doing what feels right

I cosleep (from 1st waking of night) with my 15 month old twins, and feed them anywhere from 2 to 5 times each between 10pm and 7am. They are each starting to have nights where they feed at 10pm and then I sneak them back into their cots and they sleep until 5am or so I think (and hope!) we're on the way to sleeping through and sleeping in cots more, but we're very much going at their individual paces.

Always remember it's only a rod if you don't want to do it! I have a 'rod' in that I bf or bf then rock to sleep and I feed babies all night. It doesn't feel like a rod to me though, because I can still manage to do it and I think it's important. If things change and I can't do it anymore, we'll change things then

Do whatever you think is best for your family

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 04/02/2012 19:31

I would never use CC with a baby, never.

DS1 was a rubbish sleeper, he night-weaned at around 18 months old and since then has slept like a dream - much better than most friends toddlers/preschoolers who were sleep trained as babies and now don't sleep.

DS2 is also rubbish but he will get there.

PenguinArmy · 04/02/2012 19:50

DD was a 2 hourly feeder and early waker, she's fine now

Original poster

scottygirl5 · 05/02/2012 08:07

Thanks everyone. I see the point people are making that its only a problem if its a problem for us. The frequent feedings while not a joy are bearable, its the early waking that's killing us but I don't think cc would necessarily help with that anyway as she's not sleepy. Guess its academic as I know I can't do it! Will just keep my fingers crossed that tings improve over time like they have for some of you.

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