Desperate: 4.5 month old DD seems suddenly unable to nurse (EBF)

[chocciechip]

I have had major struggles with BF and stuck it out until I thought DD and I were ready to keep BF going for a long time.

But the last couple of days she is refusing to feed, especially from my left breast. It's heartbreaking because she's clearly hungry, tries to latch and then screams and pulls away; tries again and the same thing until sobbing and refusing to try at all - at which point I nearly am too.

The last two feeds have been bottle feeds of EBM but I don't have enough to keep her going from my stash in the freezer, and I can't express as much as she needs.

She's also started waking several times a night again which means the feed demands are higher. At my wits end; what do I do?

I am assuming teething and have tried powders, anbusol and gels with no success.

Without a stash of EBM I am thinking I may have to start forumal much much earlier than I hoped.

Also concerned about my supply now and expressing but not getting nearly enough out to feed her.

sounds like a nursing strike which could be due to teething pain, ear infection, bottle preference...

there is some info here

upshot

(i) they are emotionally draining and you take it personally as rejection even though that's not the case

(ii) it's possible it could be related to illness like a ear infection so a GP visit to rule out anything else is an idea

(iii) sleeps when sleepy (or asleep) e.g. when they've just woken are normally more successful.

(iv) the road to recovery is often bumpy but at this age the 'worst' part is only normally a few days.

(v) do not push the issue, if she doesn't want to feed don't carry on until she you're both crying. Stay relaxed, easier said than done.

We had a strike at 9 weeks due to bottle preference. She would stop crying the moment the teat touched her mouth. She would cry through the feed, fall asleep and then I could get a feed into her then. As we got a few feeds in this way I didn't supplement much other than the first day.

oh also 4 months is a classic time to wake again like mine were ever not feeding at this stage to feed in the night

good luck

oh and finally ring one of the helpline to cry into and get some good tips

penguin what do I do though if she wants to feed. She's trying to latch, pulling away and then crying/screaming instantly. (As opposed to only crying when I try and keep persisting). I think she's really hungry but can't feed. I have managed to express a mere 120 ml the whole day and I don't think that'll do even one feed.

I (as in what I did) would re-offer a few times, have a mini break (hand over to DH, hold her upright and walk around the room). As I said she ended up crying herself to sleep and was pretty heartbreaking. The fact I knew exactly what caused it helped me lots.

Other things are giving her some bottle feed and then interrupting for a go at the breast. At one point I had the bottle near her mouth while she was near breast. As she opened her mouth for the bottle I then had a go at latching her on. Every strike is personal and different though.

have you tried different holds, having a bath with her. I also had a little skin to skin babymoon, so she did all her sleeping on me. As well as skin to skin benefits, meant I was also right there for prime drowzy feeding.

I would recommend the helplines again as a mental pick me up and plus to get the situation assessed by someone who is actually qualified. Don't worry about bothering people this counts as BF emergency.

if it's pain on lying down on her side maybe a biological nurturing position would help (or any upright type one)?

Thanks for the support. I've tried different positions to no avail. A day or so ago, if I switched her to the right breast she'd feed, which made me think she had a problem with teething on the left side particularly (also chewing her hands on that side and touching her left ear). So I was trying to get her in a position that took all pressure off her left ear. She is not impressed. She was at GP in Friday last week because of a tummy bug (we think it was that, not sure - maybe everything is related) and they checked her ears then and said all was well.

Reading the link you posted I see I made a mistake of giving numbing agents for teething at one stage, so that may explain why one of the feeds didn't work, but not the others.

I've tried calling the only support group I can think of (in the top post of this forum) but their supporter in my area wasn't answering. Who else do I call....?

I'm going to try wake her at 11 for a feed ( I know this sounds insane, but here's why... we're having a real time of it) and see how we go with that. I might give her Calpol if it goes pear shaped, and just hope the 120ml I managed to express will keep her going. Will do as you say though, and also try offering breast mid-feed and see what happens.

I am dreading the night because I am so so tired and everything seems so much more fraught and stressful late at night and in the early hours of the morning.

DS was like this with one side, and I think it was because the let down wasn't as fast on that side, so he refused it eventually. We got around it, by feeding from the side he was happy on, then moving over to the unwanted one without moving him. So we'd feed lying down, then to change I'd just lean over a bit more to offer the other breast. If that makes sense?

Absolutely get her checked out to rule out any physical cause though.

how are you today?

Is she feeding off the right side completely fine then?

I hope things are going better today, but in case not, here's a link to a page with the different helpline phone numbers. They should all still be open at the moment.

I could have written this post myself - I am in exactly the same situation. I have been bottle-feeding now for 5 days (expressed and formula) because she just won't latch on to me. She is 16 weeks and we've been fine up until now.

I've been told to look for thrush or perhaps something in her mouth that would cause her tongue to hurt. I'm going to take her back to the GP early next week to look for any sort of infection. I have also just bought a 'supplemental feeding system' from Medela to see if I can lure her back to the breast (in case it's a let-down issue).

I wish you lots of luck. I know how heartbreaking it is. I am just hoping that she starts breastfeeding again soon x