BF and sex: is this normal?

[chocolatemarzipan]

I have a baby who is a few weeks old who I'm breastfeeding. I also have an older DS who I breastfed for 9 months. Whilst feeding both of them, my libido has been zero! It improved slightly when I started weaning my first child but wasn't much better until I stopped completely. DH is patient and understanding but it's bothering both of us. I wish I could be more normal about it.

Sorry if this is tmi, but it used to happen once a week (not loads, but not too bad with a toddler wearing us out). Since having DD, it's happened 3 times over 3 months. I miss the contact but to be honest, I just can't be bothered. I seem to have become a complete baby-head. When we do it (sorry for tmi again), I seem to be quite 'dry'. Being tired doesn't help I suppose. The thought of lubricant together with condoms (which we're having to use), isn't exactly seducing me. Is this normal or is there anything I can do about it? Maybe I've just got to wait a few more months?

Totally normal.

I agree that it sucks :(

Not sure if it definitely is the BF but I have been told it is.

I have breastfed all three dc and my drive was zero I actually felt like there was something wrong with me as at the time I hadn't heard about the breastfeeding and libido. I just felt like I would happily never have sex again.

Normal. I think this may be one of the reasons why bfing is a good contraceptive.

Totally normal IME. It does improve a bit as the baby gets older I would say. I only noticed more when DS finally weaned at 2yr when I noticed I had a bit of interest.

Aside from the physical hormone changes KY jelly or durex lube helps with that you can feel 'touched out' as well, just that various people has been pawing you all flipping day and you appreciate your DP not joining in.

I leaked a lot when I was getting in the mood as well and you don't feel ever so sexy wearing a bra and breast pads. But it will pass, that was only in the early days first 6m

It'll be worth it

I breastfed my last baby for 13months no weaning onto solids until 6months. And straight from boob to cup at 13 months.

I can honestly say I didn't want sex or much contact at all during that time

I wish there was more info about lichen and breastfeeding as at the time I felt a bit abnormal and like I couldn't tell anyone about it.

Then I stopped and suddenly felt a massive need for sex this left dh a little confused I think one extreme to another. It was hard for me to explain to him at the time of breastfeeding why I didn't want sex as in honesty at the time I didn't know either.

Dc4 due soon and I'm glad I now know what may happen and also a reason exp it.

I agree it is still worth the bf but then I LOVE Bf

I feel exactly the same! dry as the sahara...and just not that excited by it at all...and normally I am a very 'sexed' person...wanting it all the time!

Also I am delaying using the mini pop pill as I just don't like the idea of hormones going into my milk...but the risk is building of pregnancy which would be a nightmare...as I have my hands full and husband wants no more children. So I am trying to persuade husband to use condoms but he is begging me to use pill...

all of this ruins the mood! hoping it gets better but my baby is only 12 weeks...

I agree threecurrantbuns, I'd happily never have sex again at the moment. There are two major disadvantages to breastfeeding in my opinion, lack of sleep and lack of sex! One is well known, the other doesn't seem to really be mentioned much. I do like breastfeeding, especially since I didn't expect to be able to do it but this is a bit frustrating.

I tried the mini pill last time but it gave me headaches and things so I'm not bothering this time. I don't like condoms, I'd really rather just not bother doing it at all............