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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

dd3 is 11months and still breastfeeding.....

24 replies

misdee · 21/01/2006 23:12

i am trying to decide whether to stop at 12months or carry on. just cant believe she is 11months old already. where has the year gone?

OP posts:

kama · 21/01/2006 23:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

misdee · 21/01/2006 23:21

thats what dd3 is like, she loves a good snack during the day and i',m not sure i could just stop overnight. she takes water from a cup ok, but not sure she'd be happy with a cup of milk, she wont take breastmilk from a cup or bottle atm.

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lucy5 · 21/01/2006 23:22

I went with the flow, excuse the pun and dd weaned herself at about 17 months. She kept dropping feeds and in the end only had a morning one. One morning I didnt feed her because I had to answer the door and then it just didnt happen, I cant remember why. After that she never looked for milk again. I was heartbroken.

Original poster

misdee · 21/01/2006 23:23

maybe i wont then lol. she is quite funny when she dives under my top, mieow will tell you lol.

OP posts:

AussieSim · 21/01/2006 23:25

At 15mo I was still feeding DS1 3 times a day, but when I unexpectedly was offered a short holiday I dropped it within a week and he couldn't have cared less, which was kind of hurtful, but not as hurtful as if it had really bothered him! I didn't suffer from engorgement or anything, so I think he was probably in fact not taking much milk anyway. I put milk in the same cup he got his water from at lunch time and he never even blinked.

LucyJu · 21/01/2006 23:52

If it's working for you, why not carry on? WHO recommendations are to bf for at least 2 years. On the other hand, if it's a bit of a hassle to bf, then at least you can give it up knowing that you've given your dd an excellent start in life. I remember asking myself the same question when dd was around 1 year old. When it came to it, I couldn't actually think of any particular reason to stop although I think she was only feeding twice a day by that stage. She self weaned at around 18 months with no distress whatsoever for her (and just a twinge of disappointment for me).

Aloha · 21/01/2006 23:53

I quite want to stop soon too misdee (our dds are the same age). But can't see how either!

Original poster

misdee · 21/01/2006 23:56

well its working, and going well, and i am amazed i carried on this long tbh. it would be easier to visit peter more as if i stopped b/f then i wouldnt have to worry too much if i couldnt take her for whatever reason. when Peter was in ITU my dad watched her in the grounds and buzzed me when she needed a feed. just be nice not to have to worry IYSWIM.

OP posts:

Spidermama · 21/01/2006 23:57

Oh enjoy it while it lasts misdee. My ds is one tomorrow and four days ago he abruptly stopped feeding. It seems to be a nursing strike I've now learned (thanks to MN) and I'm feeling an awful sense of loss atm. There's a good chance he'll come back, but he may not.

I was always assuming that he, like my other three, would stop gradually over the next year or two, so it's been a bit of a shock and I really miss him and the intimacy.

IME it's best to do it gradually and mutually to avoid tension and loss.

That said, congratulations on getting this far with feeding her.

Spidermama · 21/01/2006 23:58

Oh dear. Why didn't I read the whole thread before putting fingers to keyboard?
Just ignore me misdee. I'm glad it's going well for you.

Original poster

misdee · 22/01/2006 00:03

thats the thing spidermama, i dont think i could make her stop. she is too determined. and she is soo good at it. plus it means i may delay periods even longer lol. that one thing i dont miss lol.

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Aloha · 22/01/2006 00:08

I want nice bras and to wear frocks and not have comedy inflating breasts...but dd doesn't quite see it from my point of view.
The period thing is a good point though.

Original poster

misdee · 22/01/2006 00:09

i want new lovely bras too.

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Aloha · 22/01/2006 00:14

I also fancy a bit of botox! And you can't have it while pg or breastfeeding. Well over a year of broken nights has taken its toll on my poor face.

bobbybobbobbingalong · 22/01/2006 00:42

Lovely bras - you can have them when your baby is a bit older and still feed. Honestly.

Comedy inflating boobs - they do go more normal the longer you feed. I had the opposite problem they dissappeared leaving two sacks of skin. Nice.

Dresses - once it's down to morning and night, you can wear dresses.

Botox - hum, no sorry can't help with this one.

kama · 22/01/2006 01:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

misdee · 24/01/2006 20:41

have decided to carry on untill she self weans.

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lazycow · 25/01/2006 12:25

Just one thing misdee. At 12 months you shouldn't really need to come running for every request for a milk feed if you don't want to. You could provide snacks and a drink and offer this instead occasionally if it doesn't suit you to bfeed her.

Obviously if she insists you might choose to bfeed her but you may find that sometimes she may be happy with something else.

Just saying this as I've found that having this as an option has meant I am happy to carry on bfeeding for longer. She is no longer a newborn and not having every single request for a bfeed meet immediately especially if someone else is looking after her for a few hours won't really be a problem (not like with a younger baby).

I do understand that it is difficult but whenI am work ds doesn't have any milk (now 14 months old) he just makes up for it when I get home. As she gets older, if you are visiting Peter you really should be able to leave her for a few hours and not worry too much if she misses a milk feed or two very occasionally.

I am of course assuming she eats a reasonable amount of solids and is growing well.

Pidge · 25/01/2006 12:42

Hi there misdee! Seems you've sort of made up your mind, the main thing is to make a decision you're happy with.

I'm still feeding dd2 at 10.5 months (you beat me to it by a few weeks!!), and planning to carry on. Currently she's on 4 feeds a day, except the three days when I work when she just feeds morning and night and has a 3oz cup mid afternoon, when I express.

I think I'll carry on till she self-weans, like I did for dd1 who weaned at age 2. But I'll see how it goes, and if I get fed up at any point I'll rethink.

If it's any encouragement - very often they go down to just feeding morning and evening early in their second year. Then you get to wear dresses and nice bras.

Most importantly for you it then becomes much easier to plan visiting your dh without having to worry about feeds. Once they're this age you can also miss feeds and then pick them up again the next day no hassle. Your supply will be so well established you shouldn't have any problems doing different numbers of feeds on different days, depending what suits.

Highlander · 25/01/2006 12:47

how's your DD sleeping aloha? I know what you mean about ageing with lack of sleep. Sometimes I look in the mirror and wonder who the old bag is

DH is away for a few days and I'm toying with the idea of refsuing to feed DS during the night. He's in our bed anyway, but I'm terrified of hours of screaming.

Well done misdee! Ooh, nice bras, what a thought I found the boob helped with separation anxiety, but TBH, now that DS is 16 mo I'm ready to stop. Especially as he's sudden;y decided to drink cow's milk.

Original poster

misdee · 25/01/2006 12:49

the main problem we are having problems with is getting dd3 to sleep without me. she does b/f to sleep, which i should try and stop i guess. but i also bottlefed my other 2 to sleep. theres nothing better than feeding a baby and watching them doze off contended. they all burped on the way back to their rooms lol. my mum has watched her a couple of times in the evening, and it has been hard. she ends up rocking dd3 in the pram.

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Pidge · 25/01/2006 13:10

Hmmmm - misdee - yes, I confess I would find that hard. I mean relying on the boob to go to sleep. I'm lucky because dd has put herself to sleep from about 6 months old. Admittedly she has a feed first, but she is then awake when I put her down, and nowadays I often read her a story before putting her in the cot. So I'm pretty sure she would do it without me. In the next month or so I'm planning to make sure she can, by feeding her downstairs and then getting dp to put her to bed.

If you want your independence at that time - how hard do you think it would be to start training her to go to sleep herself rather than relying on the feed? You could start it gradually - feeding her but not letting her go fast asleep.

Original poster

misdee · 25/01/2006 13:11

i have been doing that, and she wil lsdrift off to sleep on her own in her cot, but wakes about an hour later. if i feed her to sleep she generally stays asleep.

OP posts:

lazycow · 25/01/2006 13:39

I know I shouldn't say this but I sometimes wish ds would bf to sleep more often. He sometimes does (now very rare) but is generally wide awake at the end of a feed, or sleepy but not asleep.

He was pretty much like that as a newborn. I remember the long!!! (50 minute) middle of the night feeds followed by a nappy change and then lying down a wide awake baby to go back to sleep which he generally did - well until about 10 weeks old he did anyway.

He practically never breastfed to sleep until he was about 3-4 months old. Then he started to do that a lot more but certainly not every night.

It sounds great but the problem is that I had to listen to a lot of crying before he went to sleep. He would get overtired (not much anymore) then bfeeding just made it worse and he used to get really agitated and scream in my arms for anything from 5-30 minutes before falling asleep - this went on for months (3-7 months old I think)- God I'd forgotten how awful it all was.

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