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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

I think I may have messed up

14 replies

ZuzuandZara · 01/02/2012 21:01

hold my hand please.

My DTs turned 2 yesterday and they have a breastfeed morning and evening. DT1 still has a big feed both times. DT2 only has a little feed and it's getting less and less daily. This is fine by me, I really hoped they would wean on their own about this age.

This evening they were ridiculously tired, DT1 had a big feed and fell asleep, DT2 really didn't want to come near my boobs but was really upset due to tiredness. Naturally I wanted to comfort her so kept pulling her to me to feed only resulting in her getting more and more hysterical. As she calmed down I would offer again and she would start crying again. She's really not a crier at all. In the end my DH got a beaker of cows milk which she downed and she went to sleep quickly.

I've just got this fear that she's not going to want to feed in the morning because she got so upset as I kept offering her milk. Why didn't I just leave her alone and put her to bed without milk? I really think I've fucked up and I'm incredibly upset. I just hope she's forgotten about it in the morning and has another small feed and carries on gently weaning herself. If this is my last memory of breastfeeding her it will be awful.

My DH is being lovely but doesn't have the right words.

I think I'm over reacting. Typing this out has helped. Thanks for reading.

OP posts:

Sleepy27 · 01/02/2012 21:09

Hi, really sorry that you've had a bad evening. I haven't been there so I'm not terribly useful to you, just wanted to give some support. I hope she is ok in the morning. You said she was very tired and that can't have helped. She'll probably be fine after a good nights sleep. I hope you feel better soon.

crikeybadger · 01/02/2012 21:14

Exact same thing happened to me too with DS3, I too was incredibly upset and thought it would spell the end of breastfeeding.

That was probably about a year ago (he's 2.3 now,), the next day normal service was resumed and he still has the odd feed in the morning now.

I'm sure your DD will have forgotten about it in the morning, she'll have a good nights sleep which she needed. It sounds like her tiredness was the cause of her refusing to feed- not you.

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 01/02/2012 21:15

Hi Sleepy. Thanks for your message. She was extra tired as she'd missed her daytime nap. Hoping she has a feed in the morning and I've learnt my lesson!

OP posts:

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 01/02/2012 21:17

Oh thanks badger! I have hope! Your kind messages are making me cry again [stupid me emoticon]

OP posts:

GodisaDj · 01/02/2012 21:22

Same as sleepy, no experience of this (yet) but just wanted to show my support. Don't beat yourself up, you were doing what you have probably done for 2 years - she cries/shows distress, you offer her boobie milk. She'll have a good nights sleep and will be full of cuddles tomorrow morning.

(PS - I'm in awe of you bf'ing twins for 2 years! I'm at 6 months with dd and loving it, hope I can continue after 1 year too)

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 01/02/2012 21:33

Thanks Godis. I've got myself in such a state for doing as you say, something I've done for 2 years to comfort my child. Just didn't go according to plan tonight.

I love breastfeeding, the DTs were prem and it was bloody hard to start off but once we settled into it it's been lovely. I think DT1 will feed for a long time still, she's still such a titcher. I'm glad you're loving it too.

OP posts:

cruelladepoppins · 01/02/2012 21:40

Don't beat yourself up about it, I'm sure you are a brilliant mum, think of all the time you have breastfed and let that be your triumph.

I gave up when DS1 wouldn't stop biting my nipples at 9 months. Tried everything I could think of for weeks but had to admit defeat. Not a happy memory to go out on, but you know what? I am still very glad I gave him that good start, it totally outweighs that final bad experience.

I do remember that BF'ing made me feel all too readily that I could solve everything by latching them on and giving them a feed and not consider other ways of comforting them.

From what you say, DT2 is already moving away from the BF'ing and maybe she just needs her space. And since you have another twin who's quite keen, DT2 can come back to it if she feels like it, even in a few days or weeks.

I daresay you'll all feel better in the morning.

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 01/02/2012 22:17

Cruella, thanks so much, that's a great post. You are right on all counts. I hope I'm a brilliant mum and I am proud of breastfeeding, especially getting through the early days.

Her comfort this evening should have been bed, not boob!

I hadn't thought of the fact that she may not feed for a couple of days, but obviously DT1 will keep my milk coming so she may come back to it. That's really cheered me up!

I'm sorry to hear of your biting DS. That must have been so hard for you, but like you say 9 months was a great start.

Thanks again.

OP posts:

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 02/02/2012 09:07

She had a breast feed this morning

Not sure why I over reacted so I think we were all tired and slightly hysterical.

Thanks lovely ladies for your support last night

OP posts:

crikeybadger · 02/02/2012 12:06

Good news Zu

GodisaDj · 02/02/2012 14:39

Fab news zu, don't be embarrassed, it's all learning isn't it (and even if one person reads your post and learns, then that's a bonus)

Original poster

ZuzuandZara · 02/02/2012 20:12

Thanks guys.

(and she had a breastfeed this evening, normal service is resumed!)

OP posts:

cruelladepoppins · 02/02/2012 20:37

Sleepy27 · 02/02/2012 21:51

Great, really please to hear things were much better today! :)

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