Baby wont continue feed after break and the break can come after 1 oz. Please help!

[tricksybaby200]

Hes had this issue since birth but been getting worse. been to health visitors and doctors. The problem: He starts his feeds, gets wriggly due to wind. stop to burp him and then he wont eat any more. He was 9lb 13 at birth and very long. has put on weight but dropped centile. eventually i make him eat but a feed takes over an hour and lots of crying whist he refuses. eventually he gets tired and if i trick him with a dummy i can swap it for the bottle and he'll do more laying flat on my lap or in bouncy chair but never in conventional feed position.
He's 15lb at last weigh in. is 13 weeks old. doc and hv not concerned as big. im not worried about his weight but i cant go any where, take my other son any where as feeding so difficult he wont eat. if i dont force the issue he wakes in the night more. last night went from 6 until 315am and still only wanted to take 2oz. if i let him he will rewake an hour later. eventually did 5 but then wouldnt take morning feed.

really at wits end. hoping its just wind and will grow out of it but starting to worry he wont.

Things tried
infacol and dentanox. both no help
gavason as was arching his back. worked for a week then reverted
colief worked for a week and then reverted.
1 hole 2 hole and variflow teats little better with variflow

Currently on gaviscon with colief and closer to nature bottle with variflow teat.

Tried 3 hourly feeds but took less.
feed times 7, 1045, 230, 6 wont take any at 1030 so just wait until he wakes, if hes done 24 oz in day usually one wake around 3am. any less and hell wake earlier and 4 hours later. if i let him only take the 2oz he does easily (still takes 15 min for those 2 oz) then hell feed every 2 hours.

feel bad for complaining as sleeps well and putting on weight but it is really hard/traumatic getting him there.

all suggestions welcome. Thank you x

Have you tried paced bottle feeding, tricksy?

www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/bottle-feeding.html

I haven't heard of that. thanks. will have a read now.

Read it and think ive tried it if this is what you mean.

i have tried giving him some, letting him play and try again later and so on the problem is he wont feed until hes ready for his nap that way. the rest is kind of how he feeds anyway. I wait for him but always offer after 3.45 hours so he doesnt get over hungry hence the times but will feed before if he wants it. doesnt really happen though. he does feed gently and slowly even in the night almost like he cant be bothered at times. some times seems more up for it but it makes no difference. the start of the feed i put it to his mouth and he takes it himself. in the end i do always end up with him on his back and having almost forced it in. just dont know how to avoid this. even at start he hates sitting up to feed, constantly pushing himself to a more horizontal position which i know will cause even more wind.

Not really confident with bottle feeding. first was exclusively breast fed and still breast fed when weaned went straight onto a cup so no bottle. the second one was in hospital at 2 weeks, had to be tube fed and my milk went despited expressing but never fed well even from breast at start. thought it was as ill. used to do exactly the same thing on the boob. went to breast feeding support and she couldn't fatham it either.

tricksy - difficult, I can see.

It's never right to do this, though: 'in the end i do always end up with him on his back and having almost forced it in'....risk is you set up a baby who is waiting to panic/feel overwhelmed. It's not a healthy way to feed, and it must make both of you stressed :(

Is there anyone you can talk to in RL about this? A health visitor who can watch what's happening? One option - and check with the HV first - is to forget about forcing. Your baby is healthy and growing. It will not matter if he does not feed in large volumes for a couple of days. Revert to genuinely responsive bottle feeding - and if he only takes an ounce at a time, it does not matter. Once the heat and the stress have been taken out of feeding, things may relax, but you will have to make up your mind not to stress/persuade/force/poke the teat in/keep on offering.

No baby should be made to eat - feeding is such a close and loving time, and important for early relationships. I wonder if the scary early days when this baby was poorly and separated from you have left their mark - you are now very tense if he does not feed well, and yet with this rate of growth, his contented sleeping and the fact he is no longer ill, you dont need to be as worried.

I am in no way an expert, tricksy but this sounds very much like the way my niece used to take her feeds - one 6oz feed used to be taken in two or three bursts. Was a bit of a pain for my sister but she was able to cope because she had loads of help her DH and my mum and they all pitched in to bottle feed totally on demand. I can see it must be harder for you and probably not much comfort now but it won't last forever. My niece is 18 months now and those days are long forgotten (she is a VERY big eater now!). Hope things improve for you xx

Thanks both of you. defo good to hear it might not last forever. Dont suppose you know when it stared to improve?

Agree tiktoc this is not a good way to feed at all. only thing will add is think its not quite as bad as you think(agree defo not good practice). hes on his back because he chooses to eat like that. i try and sit him up but he moves backwards, not trying to escape the bottle, think cross cradle position of breast feeding. hard to do with a bottle so eventually i give in and let him lie on his back. the crying only happens if i try and sit him on my lap, even before offering bottle. only feels like forcing because constantly offering. one miute he'll refuse but the next he'll take it. sometimes needs dummy to get him sucking and then will take bottle after, others not.

He is still hungry after the start of the feed. he gnaws his hand and still roots so not sure demand feeding will help. dont try and feed unless i think hes hungry. have tried leaving it after the first part is finished but feeds every 2 hours including part of the night. it wasnt feasable as was leaving me exhausted and no time or energy for his brother.

the bottle will only let out milk if he sucks and varies amount based on how much so not flowing in. i only put it in if he lets me and if he pushes it out i leave it and try in a bit later. once its in he will quite happily take feed so on good day will stop after 3oz extremely hard to restart but if you do he will do another 3. other times its one and one.

The issue for me is why wont he restart? glad your niece improved. dont mind waiting it out if it will get better.

really appreciate both of your comments x

It sounds like you're having a really hard time . Feeding every 2hrs at 13 weeks is normal, if exhausting. If you were breastfeeding and your baby chose this pretty typical pattern then there wouldn't be much option really but to follow their lead and try to get rest at other times or whenever you can. Why is bottlefeeding any different? Bottlefeeding is supposed to mimic breastfeeding, surely ?

I think things got better around 5 months but that did coincide with weaning - that might have made a difference. Funnily enough she liked feeding lying down as well, laid back on a cushion. I think she did sleep quite long stretches at night though (very lucky).

sounds very similar. I can manage for another couple of months if i think it will get better. was worrying it might get worse and then not wean well. thanks I have hope!