Newborn baby using me as a dummy, please can anyone help

[pigletmania]

Hi its me again. Ds was born on the 27th jan and I was bf, he became deyhydrated with jaundice and he had to go back into hospital. I was advised by the paed to bf than formula top up so that his jaundice goes and his sodium levels rise. I am doing that but now he is using me as a dummy as the bottle is so easy to take he does not have to work as hard. my supply has not come in properly i think its still the colostrum my breasts are starting to feel engorged. what do i do to get the wee one to suck on my breast. The breast feeding nursing assistant is coming today, i just want to bf please help

Am no expert but do know about struggling with children bf (dd was similar). If you can just let dd have little and often that will encourage colostrum and milk to
Come in (sometimes it can take a few days).
Think bf assistant will help but you need to
Check latch. Also I always offered breast first before formula. But it could take ages so get comfy and be patient as would spend an hour or more encouraging them to drink (dd2 same as is now 10 days old but now much more efficient):

Oh and birds right- when they have colostrum it can seem that aren't really sucking as dont get same sensation as when milk comes in but they usually are.

Um... I would stop the bottle TBH, and retreat to bed with the baby for plenty of feeding.

DS2 was jaundiced for something like 3-4 weeks after birth - "breastfed jaundice" . As he was clearly healthy apart from the tango look, the MW was happy to leave him (although she had to come to check in on him until it had gone)

ds just opens his mouth, latches but does not suck, he was fine yesterday. I basically had to give formula top ups as that is what the paed told me i had to do because blood tests revealed a build up of bilirubin, uric acid and low sodium levels, basically if i did not he would have to be admitted and topped up in hospital anyway. so i have been giving breast first then formula, but due to the fast flowing teat he seems to have lost his want to suck on my breast to get any milk out.

The thing is we have to do what the paed has said or we will be admitted and he will be topped up at hospital. i really do not want to go against medical advice as they have done tests and the last thing i want is a very sick baby. his bilirubin was very high that he almost needed to be admitted for light threapy but because i topped up yesterday it went down.

Congratulations on the arrival of your son !

You are in a difficult situation, aren't you, in that you want to BF (I presume), you are told to top-up, and ultimately you want to do the right thing for your baby.

The whole thing is not so much about FF/BF, it is about how much fluid your baby is getting, not what fluid IYKWIM.
I'd second the idea of a 'babymoon' - go to bed with him, have lots of skin-to-skin with him, let him drink/nuzzle/sleep on you and he will soon get the hang of it.
If you have to top-up, consider trying a cup or spoon to feed him with (let him lap milk off the spoon rather than tipping it in his mouth) rather than the bottle, so he does not get too used to the passive way that milk runs into his mouth from a bottle. Yes, drinking from a breast does required more effort from a baby and some take to it more easily than others, but they all do learn .

FWIW (andecdote, not data ), I topped up DS1 from about 6 weeks onwards and he v quickly just enjoyed a cuddle with me with dummy nipple in his mouth - and then downed 8 oz FF. Yes, I had wrong expectations about what BFing would be like and some dodgy advice.

In the first few weeks, really, resign yourself to do nothing much other than being a boob on legs. IMO, 'submitting' to that idea is actually quite helpful and relaxing - you have no other 'job' than to provide holding/comfort/milk for your baby.

I really hope he gets better soon. Day 3 and 4 are often the turning point. Good luck!

thanks i have an electric breast pump and will try and express for him too as my boobs are starting to feel hard

the neonatal nurse said that i should feed every 3-4 hours as he will be very hungry and more likely to suck than top up. the maternity nursing assistant is coming today as well as the mW god i feel in such a hard place

You;re only on day 3 - your milk probably hasn't come in fully yet - and your supply will be built up over time based upon your baby's sucking - so being used as a 'dummy' is probably the best thing you can do for your supply.

As pps have said - babymoon is the way forward - do nothing but 'feed' - skin to skin in bed and enjoy this time - try not to put too much pressure on yourself as it is very early days still.

I'm amazed you've been told to 'top-up' already.

Fingers crossed for you.

See how you get on with the pump - in the early days you might only get a few mls at a time.
Try handexpressing - this can work better at times.
Massage breast before expressing, from underarm/centre of chest towards nipple.
I also found wampacks tucked in my bra before expressing (or feeding) helpful.

It's a good sign that your breast are feeling hard - sounds like your milk is coming in .

Have you seen these? My friend had a lot of success using one of these in the early days. This is a US website but I'm sure a BF expert would know where to get one over here.

www.nursingangel.com.au/products/Medela-Supplemental-Nursing-System-(SNS).html

I think you should be feeding more often than 3-4 hours. Their stomachs are really little and need feeding regularly. If he squawks, I would feed him.

It's all meant to be so natural^ and instinctive isn't it :) Doesn't always work out that way though!

yes i will soup, as soon as he starts crying i will feed him. Good thing there is bf support coming today and a bf mw

i agree, every 3-4 hours seems an awfully long time for a bf newborn. i don't think DS went that long between feeds until around 6 months. As a newborn he was feeding pretty much every hour during the day (with feeds being 40 mins, that means pretty much continuously), and every couple of hours at night.

hope you get some good advice and reassurance from the bfing assistant, op.

Hope you get help from your bf assistant. Just want to say that my DD was jaundiced after original discharge from hospital. She started to look like tango, and we were readmitted to hospital as she needed phototherapy. She was fed via tube in hospital, but as on EBM because my milk has just come in, I was very engorged, so there was plentiful supply. But we are still bf at 10mo. So it could be done with a jaundiced baby!

When you say your DS is using you as a dummy, was his cheek moving? My DD was sucking a lot in the early days too. If your boobs are starting to feel hard, it means your milk is starting to come in.

Really you feel as if you have no option to top up or they will take your child into hospital and it yourelf. i just want the best for him at the moment. they did not say top up permanently just for a few days, when they will do blood tests at hospital to check his levels

Thanks everyone onelittlebaby his cheek was initially moving but started to fall asleep at boob. he was good since he was born but last night all he wanted to use me as dummy, holding my boob in mouth but no sucking. i will not feed every 2-3 hours but if he needs it.

Firstly, there's nothing wrong with your LO using you as a dummy. It's normal, natural and his way of stimulating your supply.

Secondly, get a friend/family member to go to a large mothercare and get a Medela Haberman teat for you to give any formula/fluids. It's a teat, originally designed for special needs babies, but excellent for babies who are also breastfed as they have to actively suckle to get any liquid out. Even the slowest flow normal teat doesn't make them work hard enough and makes them lazy.

Good luck, just keep putting him to your breast whenever he wants to.

When it gets stressful, eat cake and have a small glass of wine - it will all seem much better then.

Poor you. I my DD was topped up with formula in hospital from day one to day three as she was in special care even though I was expressing colostrum for her. I remember protesting as I wanted to breastfeed and didn't think she needed it so early but was shot down. On day 3 I was finally given a go at breastfeeding and a lovely MW helped get us transferred to the ward so "we can stop this top up nonsense" and then DD spent hours at the boob (I literally got less than 30 mins sleep the first night). Two things helped: MW telling me it was normal and to stimulate my supply and someone on this forum (forget who) reminding me that dummies are synthetic boobs so she wasn't using me as a dummy but getting comfort from being close to me, which is a lovely thought.

Congrats on your new baby and hang in there - you're doing brilliantly.

I also had a jaundiced baby, but as he was born in a Baby Friendly hospital they don't seem to advise top-ups! So I was just told to keep him skin to skin and feed as often as possible with no more than 2 hours between feeds. I woke him every 2 hours day and night until he was waking himself up.

Ah pigletmania falling asleep on boob is typical for a jaundiced baby. They are very very sleepy and the doctors are right you need to top up. (They need fluid desparately). My DD is a spring baby and they also recommend us to take her out in the sun too (before we were readmitted). It's a pity it's winter atm.

But once the jaundice is cleared, your LO won't be so sleepy anymore. However mine was still very sleepy afterwards compared to normal babies, and I'm not sure if it's the jaundice or that she's naturally sleepy. I don't have a single picture of her awake before 1mo. And I think she was mostly asleep the whole of her 2mo too. Even all the standard tricks like tickle feet, hands etc won't wake DD up from boob induced sleep. I think I even used a wet flannel!

you dont have to top up using bottle, you can use medicine cup, and make baby sort of sip on that, which would make it easier to establish bf. also if baby is not sucking try tickling its nose or cheeks.

piglet sorry you are having such a hard time.

Some things are concerning, and I may have misunderstood so bear with me :)

you have been advised to feed 3-4 hourly? Is that right? Whoever is telling you this does not understand about normal healthy bf. Most babies of 3 days old feed much, much more often than this. And it's a good thing! That neonatal nurse is WRONG* and she badly needs retraining - when the dust settles, complain

• feeding when crying is very late.....feeding cues happen before the baby cries. The risk with waiting until the baby cries each time is that the baby is less likely to feed effectively, having been upset and 'disordered' using you as a dummy is great* - that's what mummies are for, to be 'used as dummies'

You ask what to do to 'get' him to suck on your breast - here's some ideas
skin to skin all* the time or as much as you can - that way you see those early feeding cues and you can respond to them

• biological nurturing positions to help him self-attach

You can ask the assistant all the questions you have asked here. Don't drop the bottles on the say-so of a talkboard, and be aware this is a temporary measure for your baby's health. I don't know why they thought formula would be better for your baby or why they tested him, rather than just getting the breastfeeding going but it is possible the paed thought your baby needed more fluid than was available in your breasts on day 2.

Have a good day today :)