Breastfeeding to stop tantrums?

[marzipananimal]

I'm bfing 17mo DS. He normally only feeds at naptime and bedtime but a couple of times recently I've fed him when he was crying inconsolably and thrashing on the floor (cos DH had just left for work) because nothing else would calm him down.

Does anyone else use bfing for tantrums? If I keep doing it would it seem like a reward for having a tantrum? Also I'd rather not feed him too often as I don't want my supply to increase again.
Any thoughts welcome :)

For me it's one of the best things about BF a toddler Part of me dreads the day when DD1 weans because any tears or tantrums here are fixed by a quick BF.

Views on tantrums tend to vary, I'm of the school of thought that tantrums are due to young children not being able to control their emotions very well so over-excitement, tiredness, hunger etc all get blown out of proportion. I don't think tantrums are the result of being 'naughty' so I don't think BF rewards or encourages tantrums.

This is a really nice book about BF toddlers and how it is different to BF a baby. If there's an LLL group near you then you should be able to borrow a copy from them.

Absolutely agree with EauRouge.

IME, there is nothing that can't be fixed by a quick breastfeed, so for me, it seems pointless witholding it when there is such an easy fix!

I think the loss of control during a tantrum can be very frightening for a toddler, so bf helps them get over their fear more quickly.

If the cause of the tantrum is hunger (= low bood sugar), thirst, tiredness, or distress or actually several other things I can think of then a nice bf is one good way to address many of these needs. It's handy, quick and often produces results instantaneously. Why not use it ?

Someone once said to me that when a toddler has a streaming tantrum what you see on their face is reflecting the confusion and storm of emotions going on in their brain. It's easier not to feel angry and to feel sympathetic if you see it this way. Someone else also once told me that one of the hardest lessons toddlers have to learn is that they come to realise that the people they care most about don't always want the same things as they do, and it can be v distressing for them. That one actually made me shed a tear .

I agree with all of the above.

Someone's DC once described the prelude to a tantrum as 'having a noisy head'. Certainly on the rare occasions that my 2 y.o. has had a 'proper' tantrum, he's been as scared as I have.

I think bf helps them develop self-control: DS can't control his emotions, but can (and does) ask for bf which he knows will help get him back under control, just like he does when he's frightened, tired or hungry.

IMO it also shows him that feeling strong emotions doesn't shut him out from being loved and cared for.

I don't think it would have a huge effect on your supply by now, unless you're feeding lots more.

The book EauRouge recommends is really good.

Thanks for the replies, I think that makes sense. I used to think you were 'supposed' to ignore a tantrumming child but I don't think that now (have recently read Why Love Matters, good book)
I'll try and get hold of that book EauRouge, I'm realising I don't know anything about bfing a toddler, probably as I never really thought about doing it.

I am finding it really difficult to stop feeding, as all my little one just cries and gets really upset and refuses the bottle. She is 13 months now? I started feeding by the clock when she was born and released this wasn't working and then feed on demand, so now when she demands it. It feels hard to say no! Also she self taught herself to feed. I feel as if we had so many problems to start off with that i wasn't able to be the one in control, so now I feel as if she has too much control and it should be the other way round