3m old refusing the breast, very sad, please help.

[Gapants]

My DD has given up on the boob! She has a bottle of formula at 7 then a another bottle dream feed at 11pm. Any BM feeds in the day are met with much squirming and fussing, basically the milk is not coming our fast enough and she prefers the fast flow of the bottle. As a result my breasts are not producing as much, and we are stuck in a terrible cycle.

I need to stop the bottle feeds don't I? Should I pump as well to get my supply back up? Any advice much appreciated. I fed my PFB till he as 2, so really reality do not want to stop BF now with DD.

My DH is off work at present so I can spend a bit of time getting things back on track, just need a plan of action. Feeling really low about it all.

:(

This could well be a supply issue, Gapants you're right....but the solution is to bf more and not to leave huge gaps between bfs. The bottles you give at 7 pm and 11 pm mean your breasts have gone many hours without being 'used' and yes, this impacts on supply when the baby is as young as yours.

Can you fit in many more bfs? If you can, and your baby tolerates this, you may not need to pump.

As for the formula, you may not need to drop it all straight away - give smaller amounts, and don't have two ff on the trot, and work towards phasing it out that way.

Hope this helps. No reason why you need to stop bf :)

tiktok I am so pleased you came on here and gave me advice, I was hoping you would! Thank you.

I am going to ditch the ff at 7pm, DD is sleeping now, so when she wakes I am going to just get her on the breast, and keep offering it to her.

I have just offered my breast and DD took some, I tried to hand express to put a few drops in her mouth. She took some.

My question is, if my breasts are not giving her enough milk in that feed and she is hungry, what should I do? Just keep offering the boob until she is satisfied? She will wail though

OK, DH went out and I offered the breast and she was very upset. I gave in and gave her 4oz of ff. We would have usually given her 6oz at this time. After wards I gave her the breast- when she was calmer. She took some and there was a bit of milk, not much. She is asleep now. I will go upstairs and give her the breast again in a couple of hours, then when I go to sleep we will co-sleep and give her the boob all night. Tomorrow I will try and not give any FF at all.

Poor little piglet, I feel like I have failed her.

Thanks fiolondon for your input too, I might be able to do a duvet day tomorrow for a while, but we have visitors coming!

Gapants you're doing fine....as I said, dropping formula straight away is prob not the thing to do, but phasing it out in the way you're doing, is.

Breastmilk does respond to more stimulation, but it doesn;t work like a tap you can switch on and off. 2 ff - especially if they have been given for more than a few days -usually need phasing out.

tiktok Thank you, I have been putting my DD on the breast often (about every hour or so) and she is getting some each time, not huge amounts, but some. I have reduced the amount of FF in the bottle (from 6oz to 4oz the last 2 days), so at 7pm we are BF for as long as we can and until she gets frustrated, both sides, then I give her just 4oz of ff, then back on the boob. When she wakes in the night I have been just giving her BM.

She seems pretty happy with what we are doing, lots of wet nappies and she is just as smiley as usual. Hopefully in a week or 2 we will be back to normal?!

I never even bothered with formula because I figured if I pumped it's pretty much the same thing so throw away the formula offer the breast all day everyday to get your supply back up and when your not breastfeeding your gonna be pumping its gonna be hard cuz your babies going to be mad but she will be fine it will take a day or 2 to get your supply back up if you breastfeed breastfeed breastfeed and pump pump pump and throw away the damn formula from now on there is no such thing as formula it doesn't exsist and if you need to leave her with someone give her the BM in a bottle and if she fusses she's going to get hungry eventually and have to eat from boob and if you feel like she really isn't getting anything after a long time then give her an oz of BM bottle to take the edge off and make sure you pump out another oz

xkatxdollx thanks for posting. I also have a 3 yo DS so it is just not possible to sit and BF/pump all day. I have been putting her on the breast hourly or so, and last night she took a really good feed at 7pm, a little less at 8pm and a good one at 11pm/6am. I have started to reduce the FF amounts too.

TBH I will restart the FF but heavily reduced as I like the flexibility it gives me and just do not have the time to pump. I want to mix feed, I think in a couple of months I will be able to do that once I have re-established EBF fully.

O I didn't know you had another kid I thought you were a new mom haha sorry

gapants it sounds like its going really well. I just wanted to say that fussiness during breastfeeding is common in babies that don't get bottles too, so don't feel bad when lo does that.

I have 3 DSs, youngest is 3m. I try very hard to pump but it's hard to fit it in. I have now got a routine where I pump around 10pm and get around 4oz for next days bottle. It took a while of doing that every night to build up to 4oz. But I like DH to give one bottle so I can spend time with the other 2 at bedtime. This might work for you too. Even if you start with just 0.5 oz you can give that first then 3.5 formula, day by day increase ebm and decrease ff until you can stop ff altogether.

I hope thi helps!

jnice thank you, I think you might have a point there...a small amount of pumping might be in order, but I would have to borrow a pump from a friend. Thank you for your post.

I hope it works out for you! I think the key is to do it every day at the same time if you can. It then builds up gradually into a decent amount.

I know once my DC started getting old enough to get distracted, that they used to fuss around in the day time feeds. They were better in the early mornings/nights when there was little distraction. Mine also liked me to smell like 'me' - so no bathing first!

betty thank you, I know what you mean, my DD is certainly more attuned to the noises around her.

I am pleased to say that I feel like my milk is back to normal mostly and I have got rid of the 7pm FF altogether, and at 10pm, am giving her the breast before the FF dream feed and the breast after. Seems to be working!

So glad to hear things are improving for you