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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

at wits end with 2 day old, PLEASE can I give him a dummy??

21 replies

bluemousemummy · 26/01/2012 16:59

born late on tues night and didn't feed much until yesterday evening, since which he has literally not stopped for more than a few mintues. only stays on for a few minutes either side and is not actively feeding for most of that time, just comfort sucking. can't settle him any other way, have tried swaddling and rocking and all that stuff but I am dreading tonight. what do you think about a dummy??

OP posts:

tiktok · 26/01/2012 17:05

:( :( you've had a really difficult start, bluemouse - a baby who took almost 24 hours to feed at all must have been a concern, and now he's making up for lost time....

It is good he is now keen on feeding but you need support and help while he is at this stage. Someone else can offer him skin to skin while you have a break - babies can often be absolutely fine with dad's chest - and wait on you hand and foot when only you will do.

Dummies: there's no certainty they interfere with bf. But there's no certainty it can help a baby who mainly wants mummy. What does midwife say?

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 26/01/2012 17:12

At this stage isn't he stimulating your breasts to supply milk. Personally I didn't in fact ds 19 weeks can't keep one in his mouth even now.

Original poster

bluemousemummy · 26/01/2012 17:17

thanks - he did feed a bit before but not much. should probably have added that I have successfully bf 2 other children, I just don't remember having this problem before. MW seems to think that he will settle once my milk comes in but I just can't face the thought of another night like last one. DH has enough to do looking after the other boys (aged 5 and 2) so I don't really want to bother him too much. Am getting really sore nipples now as well, have had this both times before so I know it doesn't last but it does mean I can't nod off whilst feeding either - I never could get the hang of feeding lying down despite MW's help.

one other thing - I am not getting any let down sensation. does that only start when your milk comes in?

OP posts:

MigGril · 26/01/2012 17:25

Yes let down only starts when yoy have milk, but some women don't feel it anyway and every baby/mum combo is different so even if you did before doesnt mean you will this time.

Re the sore nipples, this really could mean you postion and attacment isn't as good as it could be. Has the midwife checked latch? do they have someone trained in BF support who could come and check.

LovesBeingWearingSkinnyJeans · 26/01/2012 17:29

I got a bit sore with ds after having fed dd, just remember you've dine it before but has hasn't.

KirstyJC · 26/01/2012 17:37

I didn't get any feeling of let down with DS3 (3rd BF baby) but I also didn't get much pain. As pp said I would try and get his latch checked to make sure that is OK.

As for dummies, DS1 had one at 6 days old - breastfed for 11 months, DS2 had one at 2 days old - breastfed for 21 months, and DS3 had one at 1 day old - breastfeeding well at nearly 10 months. And DS3 never even took a bottle either, so it really didn't cause him any problems at all.

Having a dummy doesn't have to mean problems with breastfeeding - although every baby is different so it might - but if I were you I would make sure it's not a problem with your latch, or something like thrust, before you give him a dummy. I had thrush twice this time and it starts with itchy nipples and then they get sore, but it's easily treated.

I hope tonight goes a bit better - it's horrible being a human dummy, isn't it.

dilbertina · 26/01/2012 17:41

Might be worth checking he doesn't have a tongue-tie?

Unlurked · 26/01/2012 17:45

My dd1 was a bit like this at a few days old. Rather than using a dummy (cos I didnt have one and she started the constant feeding at night) I stuck a pinky in her mouth and we did get a bit of sleep like this. Good luck op, for my DD she was instantly a million times more settled (bar the odd growth spurt!) when my milk came in, you've just got to get through this bit in order for that to happen!

Congratulations btw!

Original poster

bluemousemummy · 26/01/2012 17:53

thanks everyone. the thing is, with ds2 he did feed a lot but only once my milk came in and it was good feeding followed by good sleeping so not really a problem. this time, ds3 is just not feeding for very long, probably because there is nothing much there yet, but then he's fussing and rooting straightaway after he's come off.

MW is coming tomorrow but I know she will say latch is fine, they always do, despite me being sore. I can see that my nipple looks pinched when he comes off so he probably isn't doing it quite right but I think I'm one of those people who just does get sore initially.

that is encouraging about dummies though, it might be worth a try even if it's just at night.
thanks everyone.

OP posts:

glamourmama · 26/01/2012 19:38

Hi I was at wits end too with constant sucking dat and night si after lots of deliberation gave a dummy (avant newborn one) at first ds spat it out but after a few goes took it. He now SOMETIMES goes bk off to sleep with it but other times only boob will do, so it does help me out and also dp can get him bk to sleep. Its also handy on school run if I have to wake him and hastily put him in pram so if you have other dcs this might help you too. I'm quite glad he doesn't always take it though cos am trying to jus use it at night, however during the day its getting quite tempting to plug it in if he is unsettled and I need to go to the toilet answer the phone etc. It doesn't seem to have affected bf, I did get mastitis a week later but had that with dd too who never had a dummy. Good luck and my milk came in properly on day 4 and so did the tears!

EdlessAllenPoe · 26/01/2012 19:44

ask MW to check for tongue tie when you see them.

AppleyEverAfter · 27/01/2012 11:46

Please read this blog from the Leaky Boob, I just read it yesterday and wish I had seen it four months ago when my DD was born: [http://theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/]

As for the dummy, we started using one at about two months but now I wish I hadn't bothered. DD has had poor weight gain recently and, although I can't be sure it's down to the dummy, if I hadn't given her one I could at least rule it out. Dummies can effect supply and it's bloody annoying when she loses hers in the night, it wakes her up and I have to go and settle her. I know it's a quick fix for a bit of respite and I've been glad of it in certain situations but I think the cons outweigh the pros and any future babies of mine won't be getting one! Well, hopefully...

AppleyEverAfter · 27/01/2012 11:47

Sorry theleakyboob.com/2011/08/baby-explains-normal-newborn-behavior/

NellyTheElephant · 27/01/2012 17:38

If you want to try a dummy I would go for it and see if it helps. With DD1 I was at my wits end by about 10 days as all she did was scream and feed (and then scream again). Dh went out and bought a dummy and it was wonderful, a complete revelation - she was happy. I could still tell when she was hungry as she spat the dummy out and went back to the screaming! With DD2 and DS I had bought dummies in advance and used them from about day 3 I think. As it happened all mine rejected dummies very conclusively at around 4 months when they found their thumbs and started sucking those non stop instead.

chandellina · 28/01/2012 11:20

Sounds to me like you are going to have very sore nipples. I had a couple nights like this with dd before my milk came in and the damage took weeks to heal. I was later told not to keep baby on the breast for more than an hour.
I wouldn't worry about using a dummy but only becauoth my children were lukewarm on them

chandellina · 28/01/2012 11:22

Sorry, meant to say mine never had dummy or bottle issues vs breast but some do obviously. Do maintain your sanity though.

ChitChatInChaos · 29/01/2012 00:34

DS2 at 6 days old was either on the breast or crying, almost lost my mind. Gave him a dummy and he suckled on that instead - no problems BF to 6 months.

He stayed on the dummy until about 4 months when he swapped it over for a muslin cloth. At 2 1/2 he still walks around and sleeps with a muslin in his mouth!!!!

Tryharder · 29/01/2012 01:42

Personally speaking I wouldn't.

I think you are panicking needlessly. He will probably settle down when your milk comes in. I wouldn't make a decision until then.

stubborncow · 29/01/2012 02:13

I thought dummies were recommended to help prevent SIDS now? See here in BMJ

But I am not sure how early they recommend it given needing to learn to feed etc.

I'd think it's worth a try but baby might not take it - mine didn't :(

SubOptiMum · 29/01/2012 03:01

My almost 3wk old didn't latch for first 36hours then was constant after that til milk came in. Can you hand express colostrum? Have you got any syringes? If you hand express a few ml it may givebyou a bit if respite while hopefully not affecting supply too much?

nannyl · 29/01/2012 09:13

I practically wrote the same post as you OP when 4month old DD was 4 days old.

I gave her a dummy, (she refused to it, and was not impressed.)

about a week in she sucked it sometimes, by 3 weeks she has it for day time naps.

she is now 4m, has never had a drop of anything other than breast milk and can settle herself.

I really worried about it but needn't have

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