Whenever I 'defend' bfing/extended bfing I feel a bit of a numpty - help please!

[jaggythistle]

I know there's nothing to defend - I fed my DS till he was 2 and would happily have carried on if he was bothered. :)

It's just that at work, and when with friends/family I get so frustrated at the negative, old wives tales and frankly load of crap that is talked about bfing.

I get into a bit of a froth and fail to express myself well when I am flustered!

This is exacerbated at work by the current discussions being prompted by a colleague who prides herself on being 'alternative' in all things, bfing her DC who is about 18mo and going on and on about it. She says stupid things about it and generally freaks people out. Myself and another friend at work simply got on with it and were doing (I think) quite a good job of normalising bfing in general, expressing at work and feeding past (gasp) 1 year old.

Shock was expressed recently at annoying colleague feeding the 18mo, so I pointed out that I fed DS till 2 years old (cue faces) and tried to explain it wasn't like feeding a baby, was less effort than fetching a cup of cow's milk in the morning for example (I'm so lazy ), was recommended by WHO etc.

Sometimes I feel i should produce my own factsheet or print something off Kellymom to hand out instead of gibbering...

Sorry for the rant, thanks for listening if you got through that!

I sympathise. Especially with the laziness issue :o DS used to just crawl onto the bed and get on with his morning feed while I dozed!

His last feed was on his 2nd birthday; the day after I just said "big boy now, no mummy milk" and he shrugged and toddled off to play. Never asked again, so it was the right time to wean.

I just quote the WHO at people if I have to. The only really reaction has been from my mother.

DD is 6 months- And I am already getting these sort of comments- lord help me when she's 2!

I think some people think they are being nice when they say "Wow! You're still feeding her!" but it makes me feel a bit defensive. I don't actually like this culture of congratulating people for feeding. It's a bit backwards.

Breastfeeding is normal, and something you just get on with. Not something to make a big song and dance out of and expect gold stars - Though if somebody wants to give me a gold star I wouldn't say no. :)

motherpanda I'm definitely aiming for the 'it's not a big deal but it's actually good for them you know' kind of angle.

Annoying workmate talks incessantly about her boobs, much to others faces. Just not necessary!

There are a few different tactics you could try if you get flustered with facts. Many mothers at playgroup have been confused by my attempts to high five them when I reply that yes, I am still feeding, isn't it awesome My reaction depends on who is asking, how likely I think they are to listen to facts and whether or not I can be bothered to argue. Sometimes I just shrug and say "it works well for us"

There are loads of great ideas here.

Ooh - Good bit of Boob talk over lunch - excellent!

EauRouge (always odd to see you on non-fishy threads!) I agree, my reaction differs - with other bfeeders I can jump up and celebrate this lovely realtionship.

But with non-feeders I'm much more like a sulky teenager: 'pfft...whatever'.

As you said to begin with why defend it. You made the choice for a reason, let that be good enough. If anyone asks why just say that you think it is best for your child. I am thinking about only forumla feeding, and this is what i will say if asked. Do nto get into arguements about how you feed your own child.
I think people like you collegue tend to give bf mothers a bad name, as they make such a fuss about it.

I guess I get annoyed at hearing people spout things which are so wrong and unhelpful. :)

I have tried to think of a way to tell colleague that we don't want to hear about her boobs....

I'm really curious to hear what kind of odd pro-breastfeeding comments she makes. Because I think it's a shame to discourage ourselves from talking about it, it's what our breasts are technically made for and it's good to normalise breastfeeding rather than have it as something you do only in private for around a couple of months.

Shame if somebody passionate about breastfeeding would put anybody off.

With my first we didn't manage at all, I was heartbroken. So I tried to, as non intrusively as possible, "warn" other mums to be that it may be hard work at first but it gets far easier in a few weeks and it's worth giving it a good go.

I'm particularly happy about how successfully my sister managed to breastfeed; we live in different countries so I was her breastfeeding support line, quoting mumsnet tips to her when things were hard. And now she also shares her knowledge with her friends as most if us are a generation that wasn't breastfed and didn't encounter it within the family.

I've tried to avoid giving examples as I've said a lot already and don't want to identify us any more.

she doesn't exactly make pro Bf comments, just random stuff about how big her boobs are and just somehow comes across 'wrong' to people, it's hard to explain. they definitely react as if it puts them off, hence me feeling the need to calmly state the facts and that it's not that dramatic. iyswim.

Well it's a good thing you're there as the voice of reason!..

Ach, i hope so!

it's why I keep the fact I still breastfeed DS (21 months) a secret. Only DH knows.