How soon would i be able to express?

[BabyDubsEverywhere]

I am due in July with my third and thinking about BF this time to try and save some money. I know I wont be comfortable ever doing it in front of anyone though, (yes i am that nuts) how soon would i be able to express to feed? Is it possible from the get go for example and anyone have any experience of doing so? Or is it a complete non starter?

TIA

With my first, I needed to build up a frozen supply of milk very quickly as i had to get back to work when she was less than 3 months old, so I started expressing within the first week. The midwife was horrified tbh, said it would muck up my supply, but if anything I had masses more milk than needed, I always expressed from one side after feeding her the other one. Dd had no trouble at all taking bottles of expressed milk, right from the word go. With ds on the otherhand, I just didn't bother, I didn;t need to leave him with anyone and so never needed to express. I still had more milk than I strictly needed, but when I finally did try him with expressed milk he would not take it. He was always a bottle refuser and really wished I'd got him used to the occasional expressed feed sooner. I'm expecting my third now and even though I don't need to build up a store of expressed milk, I am going to just in case, as I know how handy it is for others to give the occasional feed when I need them to. EVen more so with 2 other dc to look after as well.

You can do, yes, but it will be hard, a lot harder than feeding directly. This section on kellymom has some good info, worth reading are the links under "exclusively pumping".

If you're planning to bottlefeed expressed milk in front of others and feed directly when you're alone, I think this would make things very much more complicated. I think if you want to do this you need to read up on how supply works and know that you totally understand it and the implications of expressing at X time or feeding a bottle at Y time, and the difference between mixed feeding in the early days and once supply is established. My feelings on this are that you'd need to be very strict with bottlefeeding and expressing times in the early days, never give a bottle outside of these times (especially during growth spurts and cluster feeding, ie, the times when it's easiest to doubt your supply and so want to top up) and so lose a lot of the spontaneity, then when your baby gets older your supply might be robust enough to cope with a bit more changing about, but you'd need to get through these first weeks, potentially months, first.

Another route of course is to see if you can explore any of the reasons why you feel uncomfortable feeding in front of others and see if you can minimise any of these, for example, how about getting some kind of nursing cover, practising feeding in front of a mirror to see what's really "on show", going to lots of BF groups to see other women feed (and even make some bf-supportive friends?) before the baby is born, looking around places in your local town which have private feeding rooms, feeding in a cafe with another BF friend (NCT postnatal groups are brilliant for this), perhaps even looking into counselling if there are other underlying issues?

Thankyou for replying, that has given me some hope that my crazy plan might work

I was thinking, (go ages obviously so really only going through ideas) that i could take formula to the hospital for if i really have to stay, although i plan on leaving pretty damn quick, and then trying to express whilst feeding at home locked in the bedroom :) so from a few days or so.

It is very sad that you feel you have to hide away to do it though. Would you realy take forumla to hospital? WHo do you think would see? You'll presumably be in a ward but you'll have curtains around your bed.

I expressed right from the start with DS2. He wasn't able to be breastfeed for the first week. I had plenty of milk. I stopped expressing as soon as i was able to breastfeed him, although did express occasionally after. DH wanted me to try the double expresser in the hospital but I didn't want to, I said it would make me feel like a cow being milked

Do you think you might be happier bfing with the baby in a sling? Or with a scarf over both of you? That way no one would see anything and you could just get on with it.

Expressing is quite a hassle, bf is so easy by comparison, it's a bit of a shame to add to your burdens at what is bound to be a very happy but very exhausting time.

The midwives at hospital should be able to help you get going and they will defintely see more than your boobs when you give birth there!

You might find your threshold for privacy is lowered post birth! Mine certainly was! After labouring Completly naked in the September heat wave, I was not at all bothered about anyone catching a glimpse of boob!

Damn, Bertie you have just made it sound much more complicated, but totally understand what you mean.

In truth before my DS (my first) was born i tried to address all these nut job feelings i have around BF, but in truth its as simple as no body confidence. I have a whole host of menntal health issues, and most of the day to day problems come down to this, ive sought help but it really seems the issue wont budge and i need to work around it, ho hum. The very idea of BF used to repluse me quite frankly, but was determined to try for my DS. I did try, but even just trying to expose enough flesh for DS in front of DH had me shaking and crying, never got further than that. DD followed quite quickly so simply said i wouldnt have time and most people accepted that even if i didnt iykwim.

This time i will be on my own a lot for the first three months as DH at work and DC's at school, (until i start Uni) and thought after the initial stream of visitors i would be able to do it.... false hope no doubt but you never know.

I couldnt be going to mum meetings or anything like that, social phobia linked to my children means i have never been anywhere with my DC without my DH in tow...in their whole four years of life, cant see this one being any different.

Good god i sound nuts

Well, look, it's going to do no harm at all to give it a try, is it? :) Why don't you go with the plan after the first visitors, see how it works out, if it doesn't then don't beat yourself up, if it does work part time or for a short while, that's a bonus, if it works for a long time, then that's brilliant!

What about the nursing cover? They literally cover everything, it's like having a little handy curtain to hide behind. This kind of thing. You could even combine this with only ever feeding in semi private spaces, feeding rooms, (clean) toilets, the car, if you wished, and a bottle for emergencies, which wouldn't impact on your supply nearly as much.

That looks like it could be helpful actually, i would probably use something like that even in private, i dont like to see much of me tbh so that would be good.

I like the idea of a sling, but, they all look so tightly fitting, at my size thats not a good look

Yes, wearing a curtain and keeping the front door locked may well be the way forward

link for recent post on exclusive expressing:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1381484-Anyone-had-to-express-feed-how-long-were-you-able-to-continue-a-supply
(sorry don't know how to link properly)

IMO expressing is much more embarrassing than BFing. You have expose a lot more flesh. Have a look on youtube under expressing or pumping. Discrete BFing is a lot more dignified. Sometimes I find it hard to tell if someone is breastfeeding or just cuddling their baby.

I wish I could have BF my baby as expressing was a huge hassle, unfortunately I couldn't as she had tongue tie.

Could you address your issues with BFing again? Would it help to go along to a BFing group by yourself to get some exposure to other BFing mums?

kotuku has a point here. You do have to look at a lot more flesh when expressing!

I am guessing that you have had some help regarding your body confidence issues as I would have thought that that was the main cause of problems rather than breastfeeding in particular?

could you try one of these? Im not confident at all either and use one of these whenever anyone else is around. you can see baby to get a good latch. lifesaver!

www.mothercare.com/Bebe-Lait-Breast-Feeding-Cover/dp/B00195JTZM

sorry Bertie, see you have suggested this.

Thankyou for linking to that other thread, it kind of puts expressing in real terms, i dont know what i was thinking, but its sounds so time consuming laid out like that, expensive too with the cost of hiring equipment... tbh i would be happier just having no sodding visitors and staying in, might practice my best 'feck-off' phrases through the letter box

And yes, i have had help...its not helped though
really have learned to live with it, this is just the way my head works unfortunatly.

No useful advice (but reading thread with interest as my DS had his first bottle of expressed milk tonight) but our local children'scentre hires electric breast pumps for £20 for 3 months - might be worth going to yours to ask?

You can make your own nursing bra that holds the pump in place (see here for one you can buy, Womanly Art of Breastfeeding book has instructions how to make one). Obviously you could wear a cardi over the top unlike the model!

Seriously though op I have body issues - various reasons but one being I have a large burn scar over my neck and chest - and breastfeeding has been one of the best things I have ever done, for me nevermind ds. I feel like, whatever they look like, they work and they built this baby!

It sounds like you have quite a lot of other issues going on as well as just plain ol' embarrassment about BF - have you thought of calling one of the BF helplines, or talking to a real life BF counsellor? They might be able to help you find strategies to BF successfully which would suit your situation.

The idea of expressing most feeds out of choice with two other DC to deal with (you mention this is your 3rd) makes me a bit - I really don't know where I would find the time to express the majority of feeds for my 8 month old, and I've only got one other DC. Some people can express loads in no time at all, but others find it much harder to express much, and find their baby is much more efficient at getting the milk out. You would be basically doubling (at least) the time each feed too, because you'd have both the time of the actual feed, and the time of the expressing.

And as others have said, expressing shows a lot more flesh than BF, and so you'd need to do all your expressing at home in a room by yourself.

I think a cover sounds like a really good idea - that way you can see your baby but you are completely unexposed.

This organisation has both a telephone helpline and local groups and local experts.

There's also:

NCT Breastfeeding Line 0300 330 0771 (8am-10pm, 7 days a week)

National Breastfeeding Helpline 0844 20 909 20

and I'm sure they'd be able to point you to face-to-face help.

Good luck whatever you decide .

while you may be able to express enough to feed baby BM bottles i really wouldnt expect to.

(but yes some people do do it)

I have 3 breast pumps, hand, swing and a top notch hospital ones. Over 3 expressions i get perhaps 6 / 7oz MAX a day (my baby drinks 1 8oz bottle a day now)

If i express instead of feed i get nowhere near a feeds worth of milk instead, just maybe 1.5oz per breast.

My baby is 4m old, and still has 8 / 9 feeds per 24 hours, and i just could not express that amount.
(Daddy gives her a dream feed bottle at night)

expressing is time consuming, a real faff and a pain. feeding direct from a boob is so much easier / quicker.

If you are embarassed about feeding front of people get a bebe au lait / nursing apron etc (then no one can see anything)

Or just tie a muslin to your bra strap and cover your self and baby that way.

Agree about going to a BFing group (you can go before you give birth, they wont mind)

in the early days baby will be feeding very very frequently so you will either have to have no visitors at all, or feed / express infront of a chose few.

to express you need your boobs fully out (and with a double pump thats both) when you breast feed a baby, the baby covers almost all the breast anyway

Its great that you plan to BF your baby, but i wouldnt expect it to be easy to express every bottle you intend to feed in public

I have BF my baby in public since she was 6 days old, and most days she gets at least 2 of her feeds while out and about and i can honestly say no one has ever said anything / looked at me funny / made me feel bad / awkward, or even batted an eye lid about it.