Should breastfeeding counsellors have successfully breastfed themselves?

[TheAlphaParent]

I wonder what your thoughts on this topic are.

Should it be a prerequisite that all breastfeeding counsellors must have successfully breastfed their own children? For sake of argument, 'successfully' could be determined as 'exclusive for 6 months'.

I can understand both sides of the argument. On one hand, if someone has never breastfed, how can they effectively emphasise with the struggling mother? On the other hand, doctors treat cancer without having suffered a terminal disease themselves.

What about breastfeeding counsellors who have tried and 'failed' at breastfeeding? It concerns me that they could be carrying emotional baggage which could consciously or subconsciously interfere with the advice and support that they give to struggling mothers.

As a successful breastfeeder, a woman can identify with the struggling mother and draw upon both her theoretical training AND practical experience in order to assist the mother. Also the mother can have greater trust and confidence in the counsellor.

Thoughts?

I know most of the PS programmes have a minimum bfing experience period but it is occasionally waived. A mother on the course I went on (LLL but delivered by local HV) hadn't 'successfully' bf to 6m her previous babies but had just had a baby so was going to try again.

I think that BFCs have to do a lot of reflection on their bfing history so they can put it into context and learn from it. I would be the world's crappiest BFC if I advised new mums with jaundiced babies that they need to force feed 2oz of formula every 2 hours and just pump 12 times a day instead as they will be able to get back to ex.bfing at 8w. Experience doesn't trump evidenced based information.

Having struggled massively with one baby, had a little blip with the 2nd (how the heck do I latch a newborn?? I've not done this before) and bf pretty easily with my 3rd I think I have got experience to see all sides but (hopefully) enough empathy to see it from a new perspective too that I haven't encountered at all.

People like Dr Jack Newman (who obv. hasn't bf before) can make fantastic bfing educators and advisors but I don't think that they can see from the inside of the bfing relationship - the enormous internal pressure that some women feel to continue, the ambivalence (or even sheer desperation to stop) that mothers can feel bfing toddlers/older children (or newborns), the urge to run away screaming as baby wakes up again.

It is good to have peer supporters who have bf as they are the ones on the ground reassuring mums that it's normal, it's ok to feel this way, it will pass, it will get better, cluster feeding is normal, being a shoulder to lean on when it gets tough and there to share when it goes well too. Nothing like being so pleased when baby bfs well for the first time and no one seems to understand like another bfing mum.

I dont think it's neccessary, but it helps.
It like midwives who've never given birth.
They can do the job, but can they truely empathise?

I think it probably helps but don't agree that success = 6mos exclusive bfing, I think success is probably anyone who bfs for 3mos or more!!!

I think 6m has been chosen as you have got past the newborn stage, done the 4m sleep regression/growth spurt and started solids - kind of all the important bits!

A 'successful' breastfeeder wont necessarily identify with a struggling mother if she herself never struggled. Some people find BF easy. Others overcome a lot of problems to make it work. I think it mostly depends on the person.

"the urge to run away screaming as baby wakes up again."

• amen to that.

whostolemyname - how many mothers do you think actually find bf easy? I get the impression that it's pretty low, although I don't know the figures

I know a few mums anecdotally amongst friends who have not found it overly hard (I also know a few who found it a nightmare!). It is dependant on so many factors - type of delivery, health of mother and baby, size of baby etc etc.

This is not to say they have found being new parents easy - just that BF itself wasn't the thing that made being a new parent hard. For some people it can make life easier that formula feeding, even in the early days.

I think for a lot of mums, even if the actual technique of bfing is easy, they find the work and time you have to put in in the beginning really hard. It's a massive shock to the system.

I have to admit I found tandem nursing DD1 & DD2 a heck of a lot easier than DD1's first months (which were hell on Earth) but if I had had DD2 first I might have thought the multiple feeds, the never ending feeds, the cluster feeding, the constant feeds, the night wakings, etc were difficult, I just knew how much harder it could be (not that I think DD1 was the world's most difficult newborn, I imagine there are mothers who would have given their right arm to have 'only' dealt with jaundice, pumping, formula/bottle feedings, reflux and poor weight gain so I count myself lucky it wasn't any harder!).

I think a good breastfeeding councellor is a reflective listener and non judgemental. She hides her disappointment if a mother decides that giving up breastfeeding is the right decision for her. There is nothing worse than a scarily miltant breastfeeding councellor who makes a struggling mother feel like sh!t.

It is important that the giving out of information does not have any hint of judgement.

"the urge to run away screaming as baby wakes up again."

another amen

I agree that in the same way midwives dont need to have given birth a BF counsellor doesnt need to have BF.

I had to give up breastfeeding due to being prescribed steroids (linked to birth trauma) which the dr couldn't guarantee were safe to bf whilst taking. I tried to express whilst on them but my supply never recovered. However, I managed to ebf for 2 weeks and mix feed for 4 months, I feel I did the best I could in bad circumstances particularly as DS was a good feeder from the outset. I think it's mad that I would be prevented from being a BFC given the circumstances, I feel cases should be looked at on an individual basis.

OP, it's worth noting that none of the organisations that train mother supporters insist on trainees having exclusively breastfed their babies for any length of time....though they do ask that trainees have breastfed their babies for a minimum period of time (eg three months for peer support, 6 for BFCs), and NCT certainly will vary this requirement depending on circumstances. There's no requirement to be 'successful' other than to be passionate enough about breastfeeding to want to support other women in doing it.....which sort of leads to the conclusion that the definition of success that's relevant is the one that works for you. It's worth noting that my understanding is that the requirement to have breastfed for a minimum length of time is so that trainees can bring a range of experiences, and an appreciation of how breastfeeding changes as a baby grows, so that they can support mothers at different points in their journey.

So, RockChick, no you would not be automatically excluded from training to support other women because of the experience you describe. In fact you would have much to give, as you have lived experience of issues (eg long term pumping) that many others don't.

lizzytee is right. Rock, who told you that you would not be considered?

That was the impression I was given from this thread, it was something I had considered doing in the future but assumed from reading this that I couldn't do it?

I've thought about doing this having fed DS for 2 years and struggled for a long time plus feeding DD and struggling again. I'd want to do it because I know how important practical support is! But I do wider about bringing my own baggage to any situation - does the training cover this?

One of the best BFC I've ever met has never BF and doesn't even have children, yet has been supporting women to BF for many, many years. I think her lack of first-hand experience made her more objective in the way she views the experience of other women.

There are many ways to support breastfeeding women. The sort of support offered by the breastfeeding counselling training done by NCT, LLL, ABM, BfN, values and uses the personal 'embodied' experience of being a mother and having breastfed. This is dealt with in the training, so any baggage does not get in the way of supporting and listening - and we don't use our own experience or discuss it directly with a mother.

There are other ways of supporting, which don't come from that same place - women who have not had children, men, midwives, other HCPs, can all support bf, just not in the same way as a bfc. Does not mean their sort of support is inherently better or worse :)

To be a breastfeeding counsellor with one of the vol orgs, you do need to have had some experience of breastfeeding. The guidance is 6 mths, but I know of many bfcs whose circumstances have been different, and who have not had 6 mths, for whatever reason. There is no hard and fast rule in any of the vol orgs, AFAIK.

I think if someone had bf for four months and then stopped because she did not believe that bf 'should' continue after that, or used formula from birth because she did not believe that bf could or should be done without formula....then she would prob be asked to think of other ways to support bf mothers, if she applied to be a bfc.

I am training to be a peer supporter. There is a range of experience in the group, from a couple of years to less than two weeks breastfeeding. It was a requirement to have experience I think but how much was not specified. We are learning a lot from each other- I have BF a SCBU baby but have no experience latching a newborn, or sleepy babies, or tongue tie, or a million other problems. As part of the course we are sharing experiences and working through our own 'baggage' as it won't be helpful when we come to support mums.

A BFC I know was a bit about someone doing the course with as little as two weeks BFing experience but doing the course with this woman I think she will be brilliant. She has spent time thinking about why she stopped and how she can help others continue.