Extended breastfeeding....when is it weird

[domesticungoddess]

I'm still BF my 15 month old but people are starting to make negative comments. I feed her every monring and night and during the day when she wants it. I am starting to feel like I have to keep it a secrete. I've even had people at work (I'm a Doctor) as when I'm going to stop and that I must stop. My DH is very supportive about it....he jokes about it to me a bit but in a harmless way.

Is there any groups for this ??

Hi, another doc here. Still feeding DS3, 11 months. I've just stopped telling colleagues, the responses I've had have been very negative. That mug is great!
It's none of anyone else's business. Although I'm totally supportive of patients obviously, as is my husband (GP). His practice had to have training in bf support quite recently and I was a bit sceptical of some of the things he told me the trainer taught. Soon put him right

Weird is when you are BF a schoolchild and fail to teach them that touching other women's breasts is inappropriate (friend is reception teacher and this happened to her). A 4yo should be aware that breasts are not public property.

I felt a bit sad when I had to stop bf my dc at 11 months and 9 months, both because of meds. I would have happily gone on feeding them for much longer, I think. Don't worry about people thinking it's weird - people think all sorts things are weird! :)

Well - I've been a reception teacher and other roles with young children, and have occasionally experienced very slight over familiar nuzzling or stroking from children, very fleetingly. Obviously I've always gently discouraged and involved child in other activity. But it hasn't hugely upset me. Not saying what your friend should feel of course, her feelings are entirely her own perogotive.

But I would say that as far as I'm aware any such behaviour wouldn't necessarily have anything to do with extended BFing of the child.

I've also, as I mentioned, (still) been BFing my two DCs as they started school.
It didn't cause any problems for them, me, or anyone else.

I agree that around school age would make me do this but as others have said if the mum is happy to do it then however I do sometimes wonder when the child is over 4yo if it is more to do with the mothers needs than than the childs but that is just IMO!!

Since you're wondering, here's an answer girlie - No, it isn't , IMO

It's like the extended breastfeeding board game ( possibly slightly weird in itself )
but it had lots of comments people have heard from others on the subject. One of the (possibly gentler) ones was ...

"I'm all for extended breastfeeding, but ...."

( It was on the same website as the mug that was linked to upthread )

i don't consider it particularly noteworthy until the upper end of the natural range (5ish?) never weird in and of itself.

i fed my first until three and had just had my second and to be honest nobody but us needed to know as it was only in bed.

most mothers i know round here se london bf toddlers, it's a common sight.

the oldest child i saw must have been six or so, in Thailand. mother was from Berkeley, where i think it's the law to feed until school age this was before i had children and i put my hands up to whispering "bitty" to my husband. but i was'nt shocked and didn't think badly of her.

having lived in russia where self weaning is more common (first boyfriend fed til 5) i was used to the concept

It's lovely to read the experiences of so many women feeding beyond 12 months.

domesticungodess such a shame you are receiving this response when you are doing what is best for your child. I attend regular bf groups run by the local nhs and there are several mums who attend with toddlers. It's lovely to see (they are my inspiration !)

I was upset today for receiving a negative comment from a friend who asked "are you still breastfeeding?" with a massive emphasis on the word 'still'. My DD is only 5 and half months, so certainly wasn't expecting it I suppose I need to get my armour coat on if that little comment affected me now as I have no intentions of stopping any time soon

Any good responses to say to people when they are negative (other than quoting WHO guidelines)?

If you get asked 'Are you still bfing??' - turn it around 'Yes, I'm so pleased DS is so happy bfing, we both really love it' then change the subject.

There is a list of retorts/ways of dealing with this on Kellymom here.

I have started to feel apologetic & secretive about BFing my 16.5 mo DD once or twice a day. The raised eyebrows & "still?!!" comments are taking their toll.

No need to feel bad about choosing to keep it to yourself if that's what you prefer/ find easier.

I kept it pretty quiet, but as it became a night-time and early morning feed that seemed natural enough - and earlier I found it helpful to keep BFs for home and get DCs involved in lots of other things when we were out and about.

That is I was pretty quiet about it would you believe until I came on here !
I think now I'm mainly fighting this corner for the sake of other mothers, and because I think it's interesting and important too