Breastfeeding, settling and not settling :) 3 month old

[Spinosaur]

Hello, I am struggling to get my 3 month old DD to settle in the cot. It takes 1 1/2 -2 hours of feeding then calming down in a quiet place to get her to stay asleep there. I put her down asleep, she either wakes as soon as I walk away from the cot or sit on the bed to go to sleep. If she does not wake she wakes after 5 mins or 30 mins and protests. She will settle without difficulties if I put her in bed with me. Should I just continue with co-sleeping or make a really big effort to establish cot? I am worried about squashing her and I did not have any problems like this with my other 2. I did not co-sleep with them but I have a big gap since they were little (11 and 7) and have forgotten what to do at this stage. any advice please?

Spinosaur, your settling procedure sounds like hard work and very time consuming....upsetting for both of you too :(

1-2 hours of feeding, putting down, walking away, picking up, starting again, crying, protesting, feeding, putting down....and so on.....eek!

At three months she is very little to be 'trained' to do anything except what comes naturally to her, which is to be close to you, asleep or awake.

There are ways to make this stage easier - slings or wraps, if this is at a time when you need to do other things, or yes, co-sleeping at other times.

You won't squash her. Check out the guidelines for safe co-sleeping and you will find life easier, is my guess :)

Thank you for reassurance! I realise that 2 hours is unrealistic esp as I am also caring for middle child as he has learning difficulties and his sleep is erratic to say the least! I am going to go with the flow a bit more and chill out if I can :)

I am v new to this parenting malarkey so not best placed to give advice, but I can tell you what worked for me...

My son is 4.5 months and when he was about 3.5 months I decided I needed to get him to self settle. We never really co-slept but I would bring him into our bed if he woke at 6ish but non of us ever really got any sleep.

How long have you been trying to put her down in her cot?

On the advice of a friend I started with morning naps on the basis they are least tired in the morning and better able to settle themselves. I put him down in his basket, in his sleeping bag, drew the curtains, said something g to him about having a lovely nap / sleepy time, then left the room. Basically waited for him to cry then went back in and soothed him until calm, then left, then repeated the process. I didn't go in if he was having long gaps of quiet, and I didn't go in if he was shouting as opposed to really crying. First time it took me 30 minutes for a day time nap and 40 mins at bedtime. Within three days he was going down awake and easily for almost all sleeps (the night wakings are a different story / thread but fixed those too in the last three weeks - two words, Jo Tantum).

I was like this at the beginning, not being sure how long was long enough, you cant tell when bf and i was going loony with lack of sleep. My DS has been in his cot at night since he was about 6 weeks old. (Noisy sleeper). He is now 13 weeks. Is your LO really feeding for all that time? I have learnt that mine actually only feeds for about 20 mins and when he is done, he just sucks for comfort. When he gets to that stage I turn of the small light, I pull him up on my chest, give him 5 mins or so, then he goes in the cot. He will generally sleep for about 4 to 5 hours. During the day he sleeps for an hour at a time. I still creep out of the room though, although when he is truly dead on, I could throw a party and he wouldn't notice. Eventually they get used to the room that they fall asleep in, so when they do wake it is still familiar and doesn't scare them.