Our local children's centre bfing cafe has no qualified helpers. What can I do?

[ShowOfHands]

The woman who runs the cafe is childless and freely admits she doesn't really know what bfing is like. The health visitors try to come and help, as does the occasional midwife. But nobody's actually a counsellor or peer supporter.

I've started going not because I have any problems but primarily to meet other bfing Mums. I've already fed dd to 3.4 and am currently feeding a 19wo. I seem to be offering out lots of advice (not unsolicited) and more and more women are asking me questions, even the woman in charge looks to me half the time. I do know quite a bit about bfing and always always always point them to the helpline numbers/kellymom while talking about what helped ME.

I think I'd like to do some sort of course. Where do I start?

PS My advice never goes beyond 'have you tried feeding lying down/skin to skin/biological nurturing etc. I would never ever offer any sort of help with the technicalities of latch or how the baby is doing or routines or supplementing or anything beyond the simple stuff I'd recommend on here. I really don't feel qualified to say to a woman- even if I'm 99% convinced it's right- trust your body. But I'd like to be able to say more iyswim.

SofH: is there a peer supporter programme locally? Baby Cafe is closely involved with these.

The other possibility is to train as a bfc with one of the vol orgs. Details at their websites.

There is a big gap in commitment and time between peer supporter training (usually about 12 weeks) and bfc training, but you could do one and then later do the other :)

What TikTok said :) It's great that you want to help out, just offering suggestions of things they could try is really helpful.

Different organisations train in different ways so I'm sure you'd be able to find one that suits you. Whereabouts in the country are you? It might be useful to chat to a local-ish BFC and peer supporters to find out what sort of workload they have etc so that you can get an idea of what would suit you best.

I'm in rural Norfolk. Breastfeeding help is thin on the ground here. I am firing off a few emails atm. Have also signed up to train as a new mum befriender.

Brief, sorry... am bfing!

It's great that there is someone around who can give practical support and suggestions.
ABM do a their BFC stuff by post/e-mail I believe. LLL also do most of their Leader training by e-mail/phone calls and it is possible to be an 'isolated' Leader applicant.
Is there a PS scheme in your area doy ou know? Like tiktok says you could do one now while starting the process for the other.

One idea for the moment would be to see if you can get some books and leaflets in (LLL, BfN and NCT all do leaflets) so you can refer mothers to them rather than having the pressure of being the one 'who knows stuff'.

I'm really struggling to find anything locally. Nearest Baby Cafe is 2 counties away, couple of schemes they suggest I can set up training myself and recruit 9 other people to make up the numbers. Plus pay £££. Some places only train hcps now and have stopped any other training. I'm awaiting replies from other people.

There's also the problem that the woman running our group will say things like 'oh your baby SHOULD be sleeping through right now' and sometimes I try and say well some babies do and certainly at this age they can but it's normal normal normal for them to still be feeding at night at this age (little babies we're talking here) and it's tough because I've no credentials and I think sometimes what they see is that I'm a bit of a hippy (bf till 3.4, demand fed throughout) and they think perhaps I let dd 'get away' with night feeds post 12 weeks. And they're tired. Listen to the 'leader' who's saying you can get better sleep or the unqualified just a mum who is advocating letting the night feeds continue. If I had some kind of qualification it wouldn't all be based on what I did but on what can be true of any baby iyswim.

Thanks for reminding me about the ABM WOT, looking promising! DH has just finished Towers of Midnight btw. I've not heard a peep out of him for a fortnight. Two nights ago at about 3am he exclaimed "Mat's eye... his eye ffs".

I did the Mother Supporter module with the ABM, TBH I chose them because you didn't have to go on any study days, you do it at home. I did a peer support thing at a sure start centre as well but the ABM one was more detailed, quite thought provoking, I enjoyed it.

You can go on study days /conferences etc if you want to or if you can, but those things are quite tricky when you are still a BF mum yourself or if you don't have childcare available.

Which side of Norfolk are you? I'm in Cambs, there's a fair bit going on here. Lots of Baby Cafes in Peterborough and an LLL group. There's a baby cafe in Wisbech which might be close to you if you're near Lynn.

I'm about 35 miles from Wisbech EauRouge. Quite a distance from Cambs annoyingly.

I do think the ABM is looking idea atm.

Showof- there is quit a stong presance hear in Suffolk with the BfN, I don't know who does Norfolk but I could put you in touch with our trainer if that would be any help. She's running several courses at the moment but we're a bit south probably for you.

Are there is a group in Nowich so must be a support in Norfork, don't know if you are near them at all.

Nope, used to live in Norwich, moved a year ago. Live 30 miles away.

Are yes but the trainer in Norwich probably cover Norfolk(our covers all of suffolk so does traning all over the place), so it's worth contacting her to see if she would be willing to do traning near to you. Espicaly if your intersted in helping setup a group.

oh Mat's eye! I felt physically sick at that. can't wait for the next one.

LLL is all done from home. You are meant to attend at least 1 series of meetings but if you're an isolated LA you don't have to. It's also 'mother-sized' so you do what you can when you can.
Possibly one thing to bear in mind about being an ABM BFC is that you have to go on the helpline.

Oh and any LLL conferences/communicarion skills workshops etc you can take DC to too.

In your children's centre there should be the centre co-ordinaries number displayed to enable complaints to be made. I know you don't want to complain however s/he will be able to tell you if they have a training programme. Ours does but they also like experienced feeders like you to attend to do exactly what you are doing.