How do you wean a bottle/cup refuser?

[sanam2010]

Hi all, my little toddler is 15 month old and "still" bf morning (before I go to work) and evening when I come home from work, as well as 1-2x during the night. I am working full-time. She has refused bottles and milk in any other form since she was 4 month old. Absolutely won't drink milk, even expressed milk from a cup or a bottle. All the weaning advice I read seems to assume bf can just be replaced by a bottle. Main reasons for weaning are

• I actually can't always leave work that early and I don't want to have to return home for the evening feed in case there are important meetings or client dinners. Have been able to dodge those for the first months of my return to work but don't really feel like I can continue to opt out of dinners and meetings much longer, it's not like I have a newborn at home so people won't understand.

• My periods still haven't returned and I would like to slowly wean to start TTC #2

I am worried about weaning her, as it could mean at least 1-2 weeks of crying and also I am worried just eating normal food won't be enough for her. She won't even eat yoghurt or cheese. could she be dairy-intolerant? why doesn't she like milk when she loves nursing? I don't get it. would love to hear advice from other mums.

I weaned DS from BF at 15 months, even though he refused to drink any other sort of milk out of any kind of cup or bottle, not even expressed breastmilk, or even () chocolate milk. He is now 13 and has never drunk milk of any kind, but is fine (and very tall and strong for his age). However, he does eat some cheese, though he never liked yoghurt, and is not actually dairy intolerant as far as I can tell.

There is no real need for babies to drink milk once they are weaned from the breast as long as they are getting the nutrients they need (particularly calcium, obviously) from elsewhere. Many non-milk-drinking cultures all over the world have managed this perfectly well for centuries, but it can be a bit daunting in a very dairy-based country like the UK.

Maybe you should do a bit of googling or check vegan cookbooks and see if you can find any non-dairy sources of calcium that she does like? Tofu, ground almonds, various green veg are all good sources as far as I can remember. But you can keep trying her on small quantities of cheese/yoghurt/icecream to see if she can develop a liking for it.

Oh Goodness I cant believe I am going to admit to this but....

when DS1 had to be weaned because I was going back to work.....

arrgggh here goes.......

I put a bit of honey on the teat and put it in his mouth

I know, I know but it was nearly 18 years ago.

I am not recommending this, just taking the opportunity to get it off my chest.

Exexpat, glad to hear your story!! It must be a while ago but do you remember how exactly you did it the first days? Was it tough? I am hesitating bc I am foreseeing tears! I was also thinking about the non-dairy cultures, I would have thought they would breastfeed more than 15 months though. I guess she might start drinking other milk if I stop bf after a while, it will just be a tough few nights, esp as I am currently nursing her to sleep every evening.

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere, I kind of like ur solution!! You shouldn't feel bad at all!! A bit of honey for a toddler in this case can't hurt. Maybe I should try that. I think anything that makes her take the bottle would be welcome!!

Thanks for your advice, I don't know anyone around me with this problem. Really good to hear other similar stories.

No, the weaning wasn't tough, I just wound it down very gradually so that the last feed left was the bedtime feed, as he tended to feed to sleep still. I made sure that he wasn't actually really hungry or thirsty at bedtime, and over a period of a week or two fed for a minute or two less per day, while introducing a bedtime story and lullaby. I think I also changed location, so rather than sitting in the usual rocking chair I had always fed him in, I shifted to sitting on a bed in his room. It all went very smoothly and we didn't have any extra tears, or demands for the breast. But I may have been very lucky.

My storey is very similar to exexpat's. My DD never took a bottle, cup, dummy etc. Neither would she drink any milk other than BF. I too reduced it to the bed time feed and then gradually shortened that and finally stopped at 16mths. similarly my DD (now 7) has never drunk milk, still has dry cereal for breakfast, really doesn't like cheese and rarely eats yogurt but does seem to survive! Her general eating has always been an issue but is gradually improving. She didn't seem to worry about missing the last feed at all - I think I missed it more!!

sanam2010 My family is from Hong Kong, and therefore one of these non dairy culture. I have friends with young children in Japan. In both of these country, children are given 'big children' formula to a very old age. I've seen formula marketed to 7-8 yo. Milk is very uncommon, and so I can see why they aren't moved onto full fat milk. (You can see them in supermarket but I don't know anyone who buy them. But it's HK so it might be bought by just expats)! As for adults, I don't know how they get enough calcium tbh. Whenever I went back, I would be dairy free the entire period. It's just not something you have at all in a normal chinese diet.

The very old chinese women I've met when I was young, they are all stoop backed. That seems to have disappeared now with better diet.

Just found quite a useful piece on dairy-free calcium sources. We are vegetarian and used to live in Japan, so eat a lot of tofu & other soy foods, as well as green veg, things containing sesame and almonds. The DCs do eat fish, so they get some extra calcium from that - in particular DD loves the tiny dried whole fish which are a common snack in Japan, and because you eat the bones as well, they are a good calcium source.

Also, although DS doesn't like milk or creamy sauces, he does love pancakes and yorkshire puddings made with milk - you can even add extra skimmed milk powder to them to increase the calcium content.